[You Sir Name]

My mom is very sure of herself, even though she is often wrong, if you ever try to point out where she is wrong, she will interrupt you with semi-irrelevant ramblings and will manipulate your insecurities until she is "right" by talking over you.
She is very dramatic and you have to watch every word you say in front of her or else she might get offended, she takes everything personally.
She puts meaning into things that have no meaning, example: one time I cleaned our whole kitchen because it was dirty, and the next day she freaked out and said I was cleaning it to try to upset her by how noisy it was and that I was trying to avoid cleaning my room, when in reality I was just cleaning the kitchen.

She acts nice, but really only cares about herself. She doesn't care about how other people feel, seems to have no guilt, unless expressing guilt benefits her/fits into her image of herself.
She changes her entire image when talking to strangers, she acts alert, bubbly, talkative, and happy. Then she tries to talk shit about them to me after they leave...
She has no friends and makes no bones that she wants no friends.
She openly says things like "I know I'm right"
She openly picks on me with no remorse and has no care about what issues may be bothering other people

Tl;dr she is really horrible, help me find out her mental issue so I can learn how to more efficiently communicate with her

 

[Adriana]

I am in no place to set a diagnosis, but if anything, your mother sounds like she might have Narcissistic personality disorder. But please, talk to a qualified psychiatrist about your suspicions. It is a big deal.

 

[TheOperator]

My mom is very sure of herself, even though she is often wrong, if you ever try to point out where she is wrong, she will interrupt you with semi-irrelevant ramblings and will manipulate your insecurities until she is "right" by talking over you.
She is very dramatic and you have to watch every word you say in front of her or else she might get offended, she takes everything personally.
She puts meaning into things that have no meaning, example: one time I cleaned our whole kitchen because it was dirty, and the next day she freaked out and said I was cleaning it to try to upset her by how noisy it was and that I was trying to avoid cleaning my room, when in reality I was just cleaning the kitchen.

She acts nice, but really only cares about herself. She doesn't care about how other people feel, seems to have no guilt, unless expressing guilt benefits her/fits into her image of herself.
She changes her entire image when talking to strangers, she acts alert, bubbly, talkative, and happy. Then she tries to talk shit about them to me after they leave...
She has no friends and makes no bones that she wants no friends.
She openly says things like "I know I'm right"
She openly picks on me with no remorse and has no care about what issues may be bothering other people

Tl;dr she is really horrible, help me find out her mental issue so I can learn how to more efficiently communicate with her

Omg... I didn't know my fiance has a secret sister! Because that sounds EXACTLY like my mother in law!

(but yeah, as Adriana states, she probably has Narcissistic personality disorder, as many people from the baby boomer generation do)

 

[You Sir Name]

Ah, thanks guys. I suspected. :/

 

[this is my username]

histrionic personality disorder

 

[renna]

histrionic personality disorder

I 2nd that

 

[renna]

Did you know Obsessive compulsive personality disorder is different than OCD. Look into it. The whole "thinks she's right even when she is wrong" is a part of that disorder. They believe their opinions as fact, no matter who else is proving them wrong.

Why don't you try reading some books that I have found very helpful (just don't get caught) -

Toxic Parents by Susan Forward, PhD
Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward, PhD
Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry by Albert Bernstein
Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You by Patricia Evans

 

[Adriana]

Did you know Obsessive compulsive personality disorder is different than OCD. Look into it. The whole "thinks she's right even when she is wrong" is a part of that disorder. They believe their opinions as fact, no matter who else is proving them wrong.

My own mother was diagnosed with this, much to her own outrage. She just thought the psychologist was wrong even though she has no idea what OCPD is (not interested). Can you believe the irony?

Anyway, some of what the OP describes adds up to OCPD, but not the manipulative part. Again, I'm no specialist.

 

[mimesis]

I 2nd that

I 3rd that Histrionic is the lady Narcissist.
But you need more to diagnose that.

 

[Hekate]

Women can be narcisstic; it's not the domain of men.

To the OP, if you want info on NPD, check out "Children of the Self-Absorbed".

 

[mimesis]

Women can be narcisstic; it's not the domain of men.

To the OP, if you want info on NPD, check out "Children of the Self-Absorbed".

I'm not saying that she is, because she is a woman. I'm explaining it as Histrionic being a feminine variation of Narcissism. And 4:1 diagnosed are women. So histrionic isn't the domain of women neccesarily.

If you want to fit people in schema's, that change over time, suit yourself. I'm just trying to view it from a male or female perspective, and understand the pathology.

So what happened in the kitchen I would explain as it offended her in her role (status, or how she is seen or valued) of the mother, as something she believes or thinks she is supposed to do. That's why she began 'overacting' as a mother and started to talk about You Sir Name having to clean her room. In most examples she's acting, for appreciation. Not so self-assertive as men would be. I'm sure she will manipulate her by making her insecure of how other people would view her.

 

[mimesis]

Women can be narcisstic; it's not the domain of men.

To the OP, if you want info on NPD, check out "Children of the Self-Absorbed".

I just have a different opinion (based on little info), but I didn't mean to say she shouldn't check out the book.

 

[Adriana]

Histronic people are usually female and Narcissistic people are usually male, but they aren't feminine and masculine versions of each other.

The reason why I suspect this woman is Narcissistic and not Histronic is the fact that "she has no friends and makes no bones that she wants no friends". Histronic personalities tend to exaggerate the intimacy level of their relationships, believing they are much closer to people than they really are. They also want attachment and to be accepted, while Narcissistic personalities have no interest in intimacy; they just seek approval.

 

[Dark Romantic]

Can't diagnose her over the Internet, but she sounds like a narcissist to me.

 

[kaleidoscope]

Yes, I agree, she does seem to have a histrionic STYLE. What really clued me in is how she alters her image to fit others. That's typical textbook histrionic. The dramatic side of her also seems to hint at HPD. I can't diagnose over the internet either though, she has to go to a therapist, which I assume is unlikely.

I have to ask, does she act theatrical? Do you feel like she switches from one emotion to the other really fast, even though she seems (key word being SEEMS) to experience them profoundly? Meaning does she go from crying her eyes out and almost fainting to being happy and bubbly?

 

[mimesis]

Histronic people are usually female and Narcissistic people are usually male, but they aren't feminine and masculine versions of each other.

The reason why I suspect this woman is Narcissistic and not Histronic is the fact that "she has no friends and makes no bones that she wants no friends". Histronic personalities tend to exaggerate the intimacy level of their relationships, believing they are much closer to people than they really are. They also want attachment and to be accepted, while Narcissistic personalities have no interest in intimacy; they just seek approval.

You got a point there. Although it doesn't mean that Narcissists don't have friends and Histrionic do have. But a narcissista will probably pretend she doesn't want it. I guess a Histrionic would tirelessly complain about it, or complain about anything.

Still, there is little info. Not even sure if it's a personality disorder or a trait. I can imagine it's a real drag. Both N and H.

 

[TaylorS]

The exaggerated and dramatic emotionality seems Histrionic, but the rest seems Narcissistic.

I know a young lady who is mildy histrionic and she does not have the self-centered tendencies that your mom has.