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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, I got this great friend, she is so much like me in thinking yet I see things more logically and defined, we usually finish eachothers conversations and have little to complain about, she claimed to be introverted but tonight I got her on the net and filling out them 76 questions!
so she turned out to be an ENFP!!! well I never, being an ISTJ she is absoloute reverse to me, so the questions are....

one, is this why we get along really well? are we the freak-friends of nature being both complete opersites?

two what personality type would be the best for lovers???

I see her only as a great friend and in some cases the edge to be a confidant....

i'd love your input to this...
 
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MOTM May 2011
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ENFPs compliment ISTJs perfectly...we each need what the other has to offer. A romantic relationship can be stormy, though. ENFJ will provide much of the same compliments with a lot less strife. If you can work through your differences though, ENFPs are wonderful!!!
 

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One of my closest friends is an ENFP. We understand each other perfectly, and our relationship is fantastic. Of course, he does live on a different continent to me. Maybe that has something to do with it. :tongue:
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
woo! sounds great! just I didnt know the opersites become best friends :) or do ENFP's become everyones friends?
 
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ENFPs are very friendly and tend to get along with most people. There is a definite ENFP/ISTJ attraction.
 

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My boyfriend is an ISTJ, and I am an ENFP (50% I, 50% E). We've been together for 2.5 years and what has kept us together most is that we are just wonderful friends. We genuinely like sharing each others' company.

However, as niss63 said, this romantic pairing can be stormy. We are actually splitting up in 2 weeks because his job is taking him to a different country, and it has become clear to me that we don't have enough of a future together to warrant (another try at) a long-distance relationship (we've also taken this long to realize that we seem to really want different things out of life). Arguments are really tough with us because we do speak different languages (both MBTI functions, and his native language is different than mine, so we have a double challenge with communication). Many times, we have been able to resolve our differences and understand each other better, but there have been several times when we have said really hurtful things to each other. I used to really go out of my way to try to understand his point of view, because I was interested in how he saw and experienced the world and how it was different from my own. I used to take the disagreements as an opportunity to better understand him, but after enough arguments of him telling me that I was just wrong and crazy and that he resented that I viewed the world differently from him (this started happening recently), I started to resent his view a little bit, too. I am trying to come back to a place of compassion for the last few weeks we have together so that we can at least be friends and wish each other well when we part ways in the physical.

I think it just comes down to maturity. If both are willing to take on responsibility for communicating and working through differences in a respectful way, than this can totally work and you can grow a lot. If one or both people aren't willing to work on communication, it can be really hard.

As friends, I would imagine you are totally golden, though. Things tend not to get as stormy and personally hurtful in friendships (or at least mine!).
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
My boyfriend is an ISTJ, and I am an ENFP (50% I, 50% E). We've been together for 2.5 years and what has kept us together most is that we are just wonderful friends. We genuinely like sharing each others' company.

However, as niss63 said, this romantic pairing can be stormy. We are actually splitting up in 2 weeks because his job is taking him to a different country, and it has become clear to me that we don't have enough of a future together to warrant (another try at) a long-distance relationship (we've also taken this long to realize that we seem to really want different things out of life). Arguments are really tough with us because we do speak different languages (both MBTI functions, and his native language is different than mine, so we have a double challenge with communication). Many times, we have been able to resolve our differences and understand each other better, but there have been several times when we have said really hurtful things to each other. I used to really go out of my way to try to understand his point of view, because I was interested in how he saw and experienced the world and how it was different from my own. I used to take the disagreements as an opportunity to better understand him, but after enough arguments of him telling me that I was just wrong and crazy and that he resented that I viewed the world differently from him (this started happening recently), I started to resent his view a little bit, too. I am trying to come back to a place of compassion for the last few weeks we have together so that we can at least be friends and wish each other well when we part ways in the physical.

I think it just comes down to maturity. If both are willing to take on responsibility for communicating and working through differences in a respectful way, than this can totally work and you can grow a lot. If one or both people aren't willing to work on communication, it can be really hard.

As friends, I would imagine you are totally golden, though. Things tend not to get as stormy and personally hurtful in friendships (or at least mine!).
oooh no! lets hope you still can be great friends even over long distance.
thanks for sharing, your post really hit a spot and i hope things go well for you after the split, i cant imagine how deeply hurtfull it must feel as you said you naturally click which IMO means more in a relationship (friend/lover) than just a normal friend or person you have attraction to...

we, me and my ENFP friend talk about so many things and what i come out with is highly logical, forward and correct meaning that she feels enlightened to hear it in its raw form, like for example i find people use the word "hate" to lightly when talking about a person... me if i 'hate' someone i dont want anything to do with them, i find it simple, if you hate them why bother - move on and get rid... i said to a work collegue, "you need to chop the head off from the photo" well thats all we needed and it is a raw way of saying it but accurate lol. its these things my friend likes about me, the little surprises.

she does art and i help point little things out like "this is how it looks in the picture" as i see it in a logical fasion and she gets an understanding of how things look/work for the art that she is doing, which she loves and me, well i love feeling usefull, feeling like i help build the persons self-confidance and esteim.

on the side note, i find her very relaxing and calming to be around and she feels more confidant and that relaxes her, we have very few things in common in hobbies, she does art (drawing/painting) i do photography, we both love music but from that its then down to our morals and personal feelings, yet we inspire eachother and get that comfy feeling... some things i could say and suggest but it would stir up things on here, all because they (those who start problems) dont live where i do, and they wouldnt feel the same as me... oh BTW im not talking about race or any culture, im talking about politics n stuff...
 

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Had a relationship with an ENFP, didn't work out too well.

I feel like I wasn't spontaneous enough for her. I saw her as not grounded enough.

There's definitely an attraction since we are so different- but not enough similarities to keep it together.

As friends they can work out fine.
 

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my roommate is one of my best friends and he's an ISTJ. Somehow we get along great for all the differences between us.

I wonder what a relationship with an ISTJ female is like =P
 
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I wonder what a relationship with an ISTJ female is like =P
1. You could give it a go and find out for yourself.
2. You could ask other people who have been in (or are in) relationships with female ISTJ's and conduct some research.
3. ^ Keeping both in mind, just remember that we are more than the sum of our parts, and we are also different from one another. We're not robots, i.e., for instance, the percentage of the differences means that we don't come off the production line.
You would probably not guess me to be an ISTJ on SIGHT ... until I opened my mouth, that is :tongue:
 
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