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I don't have a group of friends. The last group I had was the band I played with, and I was the strange, quiet, mysterious, shy, intellectual, creative, quirky, talented one (comparatively) that the two extroverted guys in the group were romantically obsessed with. I was a group-shifter, and was as well-liked by the extreme religious types as the drunken party stoner types. In the mountains, much less importance was placed on looks, or even intelligence, than was placed on survival skills and adaptability. I came across as an easygoing, tough-minded survivor type, the opposite of the much despised "city girl" stereotype that people made fun of there, despite the fact that I had just come from Portland. They had a disdain for prissy materialistic girls with their neatly manicured nails, artificially colored hair and an unwillingness to do hard physical labor. The fact that I wasn't afraid of bugs and didn't mind being seen at the general store in my dirty clothes after camping for a month without showering was something that counted in my favor there. They were all willing to forgive the fact that I wasn't into listening to country music, as long as I was willing to play the country song I wrote (entitled "I hate country music") whenever someone requested it at the little tavern. So, my role in that group, oddly enough, was to be the unattainable object of desire that everyone wanted to spend time with. It was quite a change from the way I was treated in my youth.

I should go back there some time. I don't have any friends right now, but it felt good to be loved by everyone.
:sad: I'll be your friend???
 

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I just meant in real life, but thanks. :)
 

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Within groups, I usually am leading. Otherwise I like to be a main pillar or support for a strong leader, which I'm usually happy to do. Occasionally I will find myself remaining extremely quiet in a group, speaking only when I must. I do not like to lead in circumstances which have no use for creativity. If there is an inspiring problem to be solved or brain-storming to be had or ideas to be expressed, then I am inclined to take on a leadership role.
 

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Oh yeah, I also forgot about defender. That one tends to get me into trouble a lot.
 

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I've always walked my own path, only these last couple of years I've prefered to walk it alone. Never cared for social ranking.
 

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piece of shit forum. let me pharaphrase since i can't edit it.

I walk my own path and I prefer to walk it in solitude.

that's it.
 

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I've always been the eccentric one. I don't think I'm that eccentric, but that label always gets assigned to me :unsure:

I don't lead or follow either. I'm too oblivious! My husband (ISTP) always gets leader roles and doesn't know how it keeps happening. We went to a corn maze the other day and our group of people just started following him without question and he was suddenly like "how did I get the task of getting everyone out of here???" Meanwhile me and my INFP friend were running acting goofy and kept unintentionally getting separated from the group.
 

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In high school I didn't have a group. I wasn't popular, but I wasn't made fun of either. Everyone knew me, and I knew everyone else, but no one bothered me, and I didn't bother them. I kept to myself, and didn't gossip about others, and I think that's why people respected me in a sense, and left me alone. I was just kind of "there", always watching, and observing. Most would have referred to me as the quiet, detached book worm chick, who sat in the back and got straight A's, while trying her best to not be noticed.

I'm pretty much the same way in college too. I don't pay attention to people, because I'm not in college for people, or to get to know them either. I'm there for academics, to get a piece of paper that tells the world I am qualified enough in my field of study, to get a paycheck for it. I'll be glad when it's over, to be frank.
 

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i prefer co-leader or advisor roles. im not a follower, but i am comfortable following as long as there is a capable leader in the group. if the leader is not capable, or there is no leader present - i can drive the action. ...
I agree with this. I would prefer to be the overall leader, followed by the co-leader or adviser. I rarely like to be follower.
 

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I've always been the quiet-girl-who-sits-there-and-doesn't-say-much type of person. I'm more of a follower because imo being a leader is too stressful.
 

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When I was in kindergarten, I had several friends. But I don't remember playing comfortably with more than one at a time. They were all so different and wouldn't have gotten along with each other. Well, some did get along and when we were in a larger group with some other children who were not my friends, I was very afraid and thought that nobody of them would want to play with me. So I didn't play with them and cried instead and felt really bad about not playing with the others and hated myself for it.

When I was with only one or two friends, however, I felt like a leader. But I think I wasn't. I was more like a listener. And I was the only girl the boys would let in their spaceship. dunno why. Maybe cause I wasn't that girly.:crazy:

Later in school I was being bullied cause I didn't accept teachers as authorities like others did. And I continued getting along with people from different groups. So every group thought I belonged to "the others" and I didn't belong anywhere.

Nowadays when in groups, I only start leading a bit when I feel things go really wrong. But I tend to keep most things to myself...but I think I'm getting rid of the scapegoat position I had for about 15 years...:proud:

...
 
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for me it depends on who they are.usually if i'm going somewhere new i end up in a leadership or "go to" position just because i'm eager to meet people straight away and introduce everyone to each other and with my extroversion i guess people look to me, especially with girls in the group because it's easier to get along with them.
actually i've never been in a leadership position in a group of majority guys just because i can never be bothered to throw my weight around, that whole do bores me.

i guess the reason i end up in leadership positions is because of networking and being able to introduce people to each other, and the reason i don't is because i don't like to be direct with people.
 

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For a long time I was the one either all there or disappearing for weeks at a time. Not sure about any kind of position since I wasn't really cemented in too strongly.

Oh yea, I'm always the one who says what no one else is willing to say...
 

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I'm the smart one. I am the non biased advice giver, and I'm "the shy one". Perks include - They set up "encounters" for me, they respect my intellect, they give my opinion a lot of weight. Duty's include- Phone on 24/7 for logical advice, defneding the group from snobby nerds, dumbing down complicated things so they can all understand.
 

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Loner
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The supporter/advisor. The sarcastic, flippant, more-sensitive-in-comparison, compassionate one. At times, I'll be the "difficult one." Once in a while, rarely, the protector. But mostly the first one :happy:

I'm usually clueless about this sort of thing. The main reason I can tell where I stand is because I've been around my group for so long (years). They're all a bunch of strong T's, all male... Which I don't mind, but it leads itself to me taking the above roles.
 

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I've pretty much always been the leader in my group, whether I like it or not.
And if I wasn't for some reason, I always somehow regained that position.
People like me??
 
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