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I like posting in the INFP forum because I often trust the INFP intuitive based judgments and because I generally feel INFP's are more understanding :crazy:

Anyway, I remember, when I was with my third ex (when we had a long distance relationship because I left home to study overseas), I was in touch with one of his supposedly ''best friends'', let's call my third ex's friend 'F'.

I remember when my third ex came to F's house just to go online because we planned on talking together online (that time my third ex didn't have a good internet connection in his house and he was too lazy to pay in a public cybercafe), F would tell me on MSN,'' You know *insert my third ex's name* is looking at pictures of cute girls on hi5. If I was with a girlfriend, I wouldn't do that.''

Even though on the outside he appeared to be insulting my ex at my expense, deep down inside I was more turned off by F's attitude compared to my ex's.

Maybe people won't agree with me on this, but I feel that you really shouldn't say something like that to your best friend's girlfriend.. ESPECIALLY over LONG DISTANCE, when you're the one who can see the boyfriend's face but she has to endure the difficulty of being away.. It's manipulative.

I think F had a crush on me as well for some time. He always complimented me while at the same time subtly saying things like about how my 3rd ex is with girls when we were together and AFTER we were broken up.

F once texted me over long distance when my 3rd ex and I broke up already,'' when you come, just be prepared. because of him and his brand new girlfriend.'' I am not kidding. His exact words,'brand new girlfriend.'

Instead of seeing the obvious (the obvious is that I should entirely blame my 3rd ex), I've felt that subtle manipulative games my ex's 'friend' played

Inside, I already wrote F off as a bad friend though I kept talking to him (sheesh I was so naive in the past) I kept talking to him for a few years until one day I exploded and told him how dare he became so manipulative, etc.

I know F was only pretending to be a protective friend. He lashed out, saying,''Oh right no wonder your ex dumped you. You are mentally fucked up'' *Rolls eyes*

No I'm not mentally fucked up. I just tend to know what's manipulative and what's not.

One of my biggest regrets in life is being friends with F. Do you think his behavior would qualify as a bad friend in your eyes?

I used to be naive, and my 3rd ex and I were over long distance. I wonder if F played a role in making up lies between us, but whatever. Things happen for a reason, and at least I don't love my third ex anymre.
 

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I would suggest many things, but probably betrayal most of all. I believe the concept of betrayal is a multi-layered, hugeley grey issue and I'm also someone who doesn't like loyalty from a person (I don't want them bound to me.) However I think nothing drives a wedge between two people quicker than the immediate collapse of a strong bond of trust or a sudden realisation that a perceived bond of mutual trust and friendship didn't exist in the first place.

I regard being ignored as a bit too relative. I hate to be ignored but there's always a chance that a person is taking an interest in you for whichever reason and just isn't verbalising or acting on it. (Wishful thinking I know.)
 

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dishonesty, manipulation, greed, betrayl, Slander and violence
 
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