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Discussion Starter #1
The quality I wish I can get more of is : courage.

I often fear if I stand strong in my views and what I do on my own, I might cause myself further pain instead. I often fear of everything that might go wrong in my personal life even if it appears imaginary. I often fear that people might think I am completely stupid if they knew my real mind and soul.

I am trying to overcome that fear, it's a hard fought struggle that leaves my heart exhausted.

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I realize that I am okay with almost every other human quality except this : courage. Courage is the single quality that I lack the most in my entire life. Sadly I never have as much courage as I want.

As for other qualities..Humility? I have that in moderation, even when I'm acting like an attention seeker. Patience? I can act very impatient about certain things, but I am usually okay with waiting if it's for the best in the end. Language? It's obvious that I'm gifted in that *hah* Rationality? I struggle with it, but I can learn certain aspects of logic easily and I actually like it. Idealism? I think we all know where I'm at when it comes to that part. Organization? I may be disorganized, but I can get very organized when I'm in the mood for it. Intuition? It's my way of knowing truth. Sharing about my feelings and openness to others? I am a paradox of someone who holds back a little socially and someone who can be explosively expressive.

However, I really need courage. On a deeply intuitive level, I ''just know'' where I am going and where I am meant to be in my life. However, what has been slowing me down is my lack of enough courage. For instance, I know deep down inside, there is this light that says I am going forward but I have bouts of self doubt. That is because I lack enough courage to face changes. I lack enough courage to quickly chase after what truly makes me the happiest in this lifetime. I lack enough courage to completely face that I can be strong in my opinions even when I am alone. I lack enough courage to let go a little of what used to give me smiles and stars when I was much younger. I lack enough courage although I am moving towards a place where I will be better in light, independence, strength even if it means standing alone. I keep repeatedly facing blocks of fear even though I am getting closer to completely realizing everything that I ever want in my entire life. I lack enough courage to make some changes in reality, I lack enough courage to let go of the unconscious need for social validation and I lack enough courage to entirely face that I can never go back to who I was.

It's a hard battle, but I hope I will get there. Courage is the quality I lack but need the most. It is a part of me I struggle to redefine.
 

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Right now it would be the ability to feel, especially anything more than pain, depression, and anger. I've blocked myself so well that I cannot feel anything more than the most shallow of emotions with those three exceptions, and those run so deep in me that nothing seems to be able to move/shake them free of their grip on me.

As I recently posted on another thread, I want to feel again, love especially, but that includes: joy, content, ecstasy, sadness, annoyance, sorrow, grateful, peace, excitement, optimistic, courageous, proud, daring, confused, and creative and whatever else you can think of.

I just want to feel. :frustrating:
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Right now it would be the ability to feel, especially anything more than pain, depression, and anger. I've blocked myself so well that I cannot feel anything more than the most shallow of emotions with those three exceptions, and those run so deep in me that nothing seems to be able to move/shake them free of their grip on me.

As I recently posted on another thread, I want to feel again, love especially, but that includes: joy, content, ecstasy, sadness, annoyance, sorrow, grateful, peace, excitement, optimistic, courageous, proud, daring, confused, and creative and whatever else you can think of.

I just want to feel. :frustrating:
:(


Why not try investing love in something simple first?
 

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:(


Why not try investing love in something simple first?

The closest I've come to feeling anything resembling the love that I know I'm capable of is for my cats. The only reason it's even on my radar is because of the cracks in the walls I built about my heart that suddenly (very suddenly mind you) that formed after reading the love letters thread. I don't think I even know where to start and am afraid of poking around too much for fear of waking a slumbering monster that I just don't have time or energy to battle with.

I think that may actually indicate I've got to work on the courage bit, too. Maybe I can start on that and we can encourage each other as we work through our various issues surrounding it?
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Well why not try writing a poem about your cats?

What about finding some other thing that is simple but strikes love for you?

The very abstract concept of love can be fulfilling enough sometimes. Try to think and list down what love means to you.
 

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I guess self-respect, putting so much pressure on myself to pursue a vision that others might tell me is impossible. I dislike sleeping because it cuts into time that I would rather use for DOING and LIVING if I could, but that in part means that I almost forget that I am a human being with human needs and human emotions.
 

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I likewise lack whatever quality I need for impulsiveness and risktaking. It is difficult to meet others without taking a chance. Sometimes you just wish someone else would take that chance on you so you don't have to worry about lacking that quality. :)

Secondly, some direction would be good. Life seems to be just a random bounce this way and that right now. Someday an INFP can rule the world and make life easy for us. Even then we wouldn't be satisfied, haha.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
I wish I have the courage to detach myself from social pressure that might actually be imaginary.

I wish I have the courage to believe in my hopes that come from a pure place.

I wish I have the courage to truly chase after the number one sources of happiness in my life without restriction.

I wish I have the courage to end indecision and doubts that I know are unhealthy.

I wish I have the courage to give into the ''just knowing'' inside me.

I wish I have the courage to face that I have grown up a lot.


I actually want to ideally move faster in my life, but my struggle with courage is slowing it down big time.
 

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Initiative when it comes to something I know I'm right about. I don't want to seem like a know-it-all. I don't like know-it-alls. Well just the ones that are arrogant about it and look down on people for not knowing what they know.
 

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patience and assertiveness. although if one my values gets stepped i am liable to go Donkey Kong on your @$$ :wink:
 
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Right now in my life I would probably need&want most the TJ qualities. Logical reasoning and fast decision making combined with an ability to push others around. Oh, I wish I was an INTJ. They're so lovable in their own weird and socially damaged way ^^
 
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