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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
When I mean upset, I don't just mean like "oh, this sucks", I mean, really upsetting; something you would cry because of.

For me it's being interrogated or feeling violated. It makes me feel, odd, and embarrassed.

When I was in 4th grade, we did this tour of the school for the 3rd graders, and my friend and I showed the girl the tampon/pad machine thing. A few days later, we were called to the principals office because apparently the mother called in and complained about it. I ended up breaking down and crying, I was scared to death.

Not really sure why I'm like this, but I was wondering if it had to do something with type. Share what makes you upset below.

Edit: Haha, I thought crying when failing a test was uiversal for INTPs haha heehee
 

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Man I would cry all the time when I was young. Usually because someone made me feel stupid, or I felt embarrassed in some way. Ugh, and crying was embarrassing, so of course it just made everything worse.
 

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i cried a few days ago when a friend pushed me too far. i suppose i must look really depressed but i wasn't; just confused over a stupid dream i had the night before. i figured that i just needed some time to sort myself out and i'd be fine. but he said my explanation wasn't good enough and i had to try harder. i understand that he was trying to be a good friend (now i should have told him that, should i?), but his demand for an explanation made me shut down. but that only made him want to know more. i don't normally cry but i guess he caught me off guard :unsure:
 

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Only when I'm really pissed off by:

The inability to control my thoughts (usually due to an influx of unhindered emotion, e.g. infatuation, such that it overrides reason and infects all other thoughts like a virus). Being boxed in any way, shape, or form. Absolute finality, emotional investment, and the feeling of incompetence (failing tests, not understanding something apparently simple, etc).
 

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Yup, being forced into my Fe function (shadow) against my will. That will do it.

In the sense of the Enneagram, that is exactly what makes this 6 disintegrate into a 3.
 

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Having anything forced upon me in any way (I literally broke down about two weeks ago when my grandmother tried to put a "schedule" on my daily activities). I hate other people micromanaging my life.

Incompetence. Like AirMarionette said, not understanding something really simple. Like schoolwork. I cry over that, but usually afterwards I'll just get it and I'll feel all better :p

Emotional overload. Holding things in for too long, and then having one tiny little incident sets off like an entire storage of built up tension, and I'll just start thinking of everything bad and depressing, and it just never ends.

Most of the time, though, I won't cry. I'll just shut down and become unresponsive.
 
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I cry when I feel stupid or unable to do something.
When I feel useless.
When I feel trapped or confined.
When my mind isn't getting fresh stimulus.
 

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Social interaction automatically upsets me. Having people 'project' an unintended meaning onto my words. Schedules. Having people insist I have to 'just feel and do what's right without thinking too much'; what am I supposed to do when I have no moral guidelines in a stressing situation? Doing badly on a speech or examination I actually took the time to prepare for thoroughly.

Although getting upset involves throwing a violent temper tantrum or brooding rather than crying, due to my parents' odd tempers.
 

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I get upset when yelled at or criticized:
a. I think it's unfair, but fighting back would be embarrassing, escalate the problem and be a waste of time, so I cry because I can't stand up for myself.
b. I know they're right, and I feel guilty.

Also, any time when someone else is being irrational and trying to force their irrationality on me. For example, some other kids' parents when I was little (haha).
 

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1) Being misunderstood (which is, like, almost everytime)
2) Feeling incompetent and being stressed to finish a task on schedule
3) Encountering people who are just inconsiderate jerks ("Can't they think?!?")
4) Being probed for one's thoughts/feelings when I'm in "shut-down" mode. The reaction is usually just short of nuclear fission.
 

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I can definitely echo the "feeling incompetent" peeve. I get REALLY frustrated when I repeatedly fail at something I feel like I should be able to do. Especially so if it's something I've been able to do in the past.

I also get upset if someone else makes me feel stupid - I have trouble with condescending people. I don't usually get angry with them, but instead with myself for not being able to find something to say to get the person to understand my point of view (of course that's usually impossible). I seem to internalize every problem I have as some sort of failure on my part.
 

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I'm sure this goes the same for everyone not just INTPs, but for me, nothing will piss me off like someone telling me what to do. If you say, "Would you mind doing the dishes for me while I'm at work? I don't think I'll have time to get it done.", That is totally fine, I'd be glad in fact to help out. But if you said "You need to have the dishes done before I get home," I will likely make a point to not do the dishes, lol. I suppose it all goes back to having control.

I also HATEHATEHAAAAATE people who have no passion in life and just go with the crowd. I Don't care if you love computers, sports, Magic the Gathering, clothes, makeup, sleeping, it really doesn't matter, but you should have at least 1 subject you are passionate about and semi knowledgeable about. I despise my step brother for that reason in that he has no passion, he is just a robot. I see those types of people as, well as not even being real people to be honest, and I think they're worth less then other people who have a passion for something.
 

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I seem to internalize every problem I have as some sort of failure on my part.
...the story of my life. However, as I've grown older, I've learned to sufficiently block negativity almost to a degree of precision. I've always given people respect, but to get none in return used to piss me off to extreme's. I can't stand condescending people almost to a point of becoming confrontational.

I hate people (GF's, friends, family) which everything they do for you comes with a price, instead of doing things because they want to purely out of the goodness of their hearts. It's because of this type of person is why I'd rather do things for my peeps, but have trouble accepting help. My girlfriends typically have issues with this.

I can also smell a douche bag from a mile away, however, calling them out brings a certain sort of satisfaction :laughing:
 

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I'm sure this goes the same for everyone not just INTPs, but for me, nothing will piss me off like someone telling me what to do. If you say, "Would you mind doing the dishes for me while I'm at work? I don't think I'll have time to get it done.", That is totally fine, I'd be glad in fact to help out. But if you said "You need to have the dishes done before I get home," I will likely make a point to not do the dishes, lol. I suppose it all goes back to having control.
yes, Yes, Y E S!!! This general example can be spun so many different ways, yet the outcome is still about 'being in control' of our own lives!

However, I do just want to point out that we are NOT controlling people by any means. We just believe in being in control of our own lives and we go to great extents to make sure we don't infringe on others.
 

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I also HATEHATEHAAAAATE people who have no passion in life and just go with the crowd. I Don't care if you love computers, sports, Magic the Gathering, clothes, makeup, sleeping, it really doesn't matter, but you should have at least 1 subject you are passionate about and semi knowledgeable about. I despise my step brother for that reason in that he has no passion, he is just a robot. I see those types of people as, well as not even being real people to be honest, and I think they're worth less then other people who have a passion for something.
Muahaha, you would hate me. I make an effort to be deliberately and purposefully dispassionate; since I see passion as irrational and superficial; clouding the mind away from sound judgment

Of course, this really depends on the definition of "passion". I wonder if some people operate under a different definition of passion that I do. When I talk about my disdain for passion, some people would point out that I am paradoxically being "passionate" about being dispassionate.
 

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I'm sure this goes the same for everyone not just INTPs, but for me, nothing will piss me off like someone telling me what to do. If you say, "Would you mind doing the dishes for me while I'm at work? I don't think I'll have time to get it done.", That is totally fine, I'd be glad in fact to help out. But if you said "You need to have the dishes done before I get home," I will likely make a point to not do the dishes, lol. I suppose it all goes back to having control.
This exact situation is why I ended up getting kicked out of my mom's house at 17...
 

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I'm sure this goes the same for everyone not just INTPs, but for me, nothing will piss me off like someone telling me what to do. If you say, "Would you mind doing the dishes for me while I'm at work? I don't think I'll have time to get it done.", That is totally fine, I'd be glad in fact to help out. But if you said "You need to have the dishes done before I get home," I will likely make a point to not do the dishes, lol. I suppose it all goes back to having control.
Wow, that's a bit one for me too. The more I get told that I have to do something, the less likely I will be to do it. This ties into an earlier post too, but if I make an error, I know I did. If you belabor the point, or, God forbid, start to yell at me because of it, you can be assured that I'll make the same mistake again. Treat me like an animal or a child and that's exactly how I'll be have.

On the other hand, being told what to do is sometimes good because, I have found, some INTPs can be lazy.

Mom: "Pick up your room and fold this laundry."

You: "First of all, the room is just going to get dirty again and second, I can take my clean cloths out of a pile just as easily as I can out of a drawer. This whole system of yours seems very inefficient."

Sometimes, mom just knows best!
 

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4) Being probed for one's thoughts/feelings when I'm in "shut-down" mode. The reaction is usually just short of nuclear fission.
Oh gods, yes. That.

Also:


- Attempts by others to control me: Being told what to do, think, emotional blackmail/manipulation, or really anything where someone attempts to tamper with my -own- thoughts, or will, in order to suit their needs. Its vandalization of my psyche, and it makes me furious. As a child, the whole concept of 'because I said so' was just this sort of vandalization, also - and it still goes on in the work place, and with people in personal relationships or authority. I need to think it through for myself, or I am just some flesh puppet with no autonomy - and every fiber of my being rejects -that-. Another good example is when a romantic partner lies to me, in order to keep things pleasant. May as well give me a lobotomy, taking away my truth, and ability to decide for myself. Another example is when someone feels some sense of entitlement where I am concerned, like I owe them something (when I certainly don't). An example of that would be how many of my male friends have gotten bitter and passive-aggressive, after I didn't feel that I owed them anything more than my friendship.

- Having people confuse expressions of my Ne, for Fi, and writing off something that they don't understand as "just how I feel about it." Oh, that makes my blood boil. Many times I have held onto tried and tested premises a - z, and its led me to a particular conclusion. It took intuitive leaps here and there to get from premise to premise in the first place (while the Ti is being run ragged, trying to keep up), and now the conclusion at the end is a huge playground where I have used my intuition to understand deeper meanings so much, to the point that my grappling on it all is pure mental muscle memory. Its difficult to come -down- and explain premise a - c to someone who has never bothered to consider the topic in depth. When I encounter someone pig-headed enough to write it off in the first place, I just have no desire to try to explain it to them. Better yet, you get someone who is really dense, say 'that's crazy' simply because they haven't thought about it and probably wouldn't understand it if they did.

- Obnoxious derails of my thoughts. I hate it when I am ass deep in a thought process, and someone tries to break my concentration. It's always over something fucking stupid, too. I begin to see them as whiny children tugging at my skirt for attention.
 
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