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The No More Hero
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I'm asking this around the different personality types sub-forums because I believe different personality types are scared of different things, so I want to know, ENFJs, what are you scared of and why?

Thank you in advance.
 

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I am terrified of dying, partly out of some ridiculous appreciation for life and partly because the idea of not being here if my son (or other family members/friends) needs me is distressing. I'm also afraid that I'll never find a point in life where I'm happy with what I have, because some times it can seem like nothing is enough - even though I know how lucky I am and am proud/happy to be there.

Oh, I'm also afraid of bees/wasps. =P
 

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I fear the dark places the mind can go. I've had certain nightmares that make me wonder why some thoughts are even in my head. Also I recently read a creepy psychological book called The Rag and Bone Shop by Robert Cormier. It was really good and interesting. It got me thinking about murder and what drives a person to murder and I think that is scary.

My biggest irrational fear is deep water. I can swim, but not super well . The expansiveness scares me and what it could contain.

Other irrational fears: centipedes, millipedes, other bugs
 

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Losing people I love, not being able to help, no one listening to me.

I also fear drowning, i mean I can get into water, i can swim, but i do fear drowning pretty bad

Spiders, wasps. With spiders, it's not a phobia of spiders, it a fear of spiders on me. I can see them and as long as they don't touch my skin it's ok.
 

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Dying for sure. I attribute the sheer feeling of terror to the fact that I was raised with no religion, all people claim to feel it but I don't know if most do as deeply because even though many reject their religious raising, they don't seem to *get* the terrifying feeling I have or relate fully.

This is more compounded since I'm the only parent as well for my son. I'm also afraid of never feeling whole and always searching for 'something'. It's quite annoying.
 

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Dying for sure. I attribute the sheer feeling of terror to the fact that I was raised with no religion, all people claim to feel it but I don't know if most do as deeply because even though many reject their religious raising, they don't seem to *get* the terrifying feeling I have or relate fully.

This is more compounded since I'm the only parent as well for my son. I'm also afraid of never feeling whole and always searching for 'something'. It's quite annoying.
I remember feeling that emptiness that comes with no religious/ spiritual beliefs. I became an athiest when I was in like 6 grade or so. I remember just doing it to follow in the steps my sister was taking, at first. As time went on I started noticing this hole developing inside myself during High School. I remember thinking whether I should turn my back on atheism and fall back on what I was raised on, Catholicism. I couldn't though, even with the hole growing bigger as time went on and that feeling of emptiness expanding, if I went back on my decision of not believing then it would have caused more regret in the future. Looking back now, I am glad to have stayed with my belief in atheism. If I didn't I wouldn't have developed my own sense of spirituality that I needed to fill that empty hole I created that was leading me into constant depression. I am free from religious beliefs of others that only cause rejection and dogma. It has been a little under a year since I formed my own since of spirituality and sometimes not know how to use it for the benefit of myself and others, I have come to accept and appreciate the hard work it requires for it to not slip away back into the aether. The more I use and believe in it the stronger I come to feel that my problems in reality are not really problems but an illusion that there is a problem.

Since, I have come to find my own spirituality in life I have come to be able to work past my fears in life. I no longer fear loneliness in life as I have come to realize that it is but an illusion we create in ourselves. We can never truly be lonely in this life if we come to accept ourselves instead of looking to others for a sense of self. We are never alone when we learn to love ourselves and come to value the self more than others. We feel loneliness when we have lost what we know and understand about who we are as an individual and not what we are seen as when no individualization develops and we simply look outside ourselves, to others, to match. One must face toward the black pit within oneself and make that leap down into the darkness we hide and despise to come to be able to accept that darkness for what it is, the other half of ourselves that we fear and loath. Those dark thoughts we don't want to listen too are there to help us see where balance really lies in ourselves and not running from that darkness simply out of fear. It has taken time through out the last couple years to come to grips with the part of myself I see as ugly and wrong but the more I pushed it further back the more that would return. It kept leading me to always feel bad about everything in this world, and I mean everything. I accept that "evil"(I use this to refer to what disgusted me about actions) part I always had inside and instead of letting it control me through inaction(Inaction happens from your other self generating fear from the amount of possibilities that overrides that sense of knowing what needs to be done), I have come to realize that our dark selves are only trying to give help but does not know if it is right or wrong. It has no understanding or alignment to good or bad but serves as a nesscessary means to help us realize the individual we could manifest to others that we all hide from each other and ourselves. By embracing your inner darkness are you able to make action, or lack thereof, in a more balanced and meaningful way that no longer gives a mixed reactions from others we interact with in our day-to-day lives.

The only thing I am scared of anymore is that the more I come to understand in this world, or about myself, have I come to realize that I really don't understand anything and that the more of the rabbit hole I fall down, the harder it becomes to pull myself out of the hole. I sometimes fear that the old saying, "Ignorance is bliss," really is true and if it is, then the more I come to learn and understand about life the further away I get from it. Almost as if the more I measure about myself the further away I am to my actual, true self and not that self I use when explaining myself. This may be why when I am healthy I don't give a crap if others understand me or not and why I don't like talking about myself. It is, as if, when I am in a healthy mood I feel no need to measure myself for others benefits but when I enter unhealthy do I like to measure everything I am, which leads to the depression that follows those measurements until I come to grow tired of restricting myself for others sakes. I discard the boxes I stacked about myself and let them all crash at once and from the rubble comes the vision that the boxes where blocking from sight. I fear getting lost among those boxes, that pile sky high, and forget to push them down when they get stacked to high and never again see that vision on the other side. I also fear what would happen when I never built up boxes to block the visions from view and allow them to flow constantly but would be intangible to understand with no sort of concrete experience to give understanding. The boxes need the vision to give a sense of connection between each individual box to keep each one relevant to another without making one more important to the over all picture they create. The vision would have no concrete structure without the boxes, that allows it to be tangible to understand and follow without being too strict in it structure, which, when something becomes to strict or too rigid then it loses its sense of openness that gives visions the freedom to change their picture when something changes that affects the effectiveness of the vision and requires the picture to adapt instead of wasting time waiting for a new vision to express itself. I fear myself one day getting lost on one side or the other and losing the big picture that both present. One day I will be require to pick a side on some issue before myself but become paralyzed from the fear of showing the close mindedness that follows choosing which side to follow. I am but an observer in this life, nothing more nothing less, which causes an indifference to either side and their struggles but sees the need for both to survive, so that an imbalance does not arise.
 

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I thought to PM you but then since you so openly discussed things it inspires me to do the same :)
"The more I use and believe in it the stronger I come to feel that my problems in reality are not really problems but an illusion that there is a problem. "

Wow.. that's really wonderful :) My own spirituality has done similar for me, although sometimes when I feel that feeling of fear it's still just 'there' and I know it will take awhile for me to fully accept my belief deep down of reincarnation. I think it's my ego that's afraid to 'not remember myself'. Almost like I'm doing all this work on myself and then it will all be wasted, but it really won't be, if I work on my soul and energy.

"Since, I have come to find my own spirituality in life I have come to be able to work past my fears in life. I no longer fear loneliness in life as I have come to realize that it is but an illusion we create in ourselves. We can never truly be lonely in this life if we come to accept ourselves instead of looking to others for a sense of self."

That's really amazing, I'm working towards that goal as well, but definitely not there yet. I have worked and stopped almost all negative self talk (that was a big problem for me, everytime I'd make a mistake I'd beat myself up over and over) I know what you mean about that 'darkness' of sorts and it reminds me of what Debbie Ford calls "the shadow self" and to understand and work with all sides of yourself and not fear them. Very cool that you've come to this realization.

"The only thing I am scared of anymore is that the more I come to understand in this world, or about myself, have I come to realize that I really don't understand anything and that the more of the rabbit hole I fall down, the harder it becomes to pull myself out of the hole. I sometimes fear that the old saying, "Ignorance is bliss," really is true and if it is, then the more I come to learn and understand about life the further away I get from it. "

I can completely relate and I worry of the same thing. It definitely does seem there is joy in "not knowing" or "letting go" and I worry if I were to 'let go' does this mean the same thing as 'ignorance is bliss'? Yes.. lately I've actually been quite sad and realizing I get into mental loops of allowing other's opinions to form over my own or taking their opinions and judging myself against them. Which when I think of it, is quite unfair because I hold no one else to such a high standard (and usually that's how I talk myself out of it too)

"I am but an observer in this life, nothing more nothing less, which causes an indifference to either side and their struggles but sees the need for both to survive, so that an imbalance does not arise."

I can relate to all of that as well, and it's difficult to choose sides, especially if you can see all the sides and all options so clearly and empathize with them, I can at least. I understand why people feel the need for a 'dogmatic' religion and also why many feel the need for none at all and all points in between.
 

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Fear is a very close and personal feeling for me. I'd say it influences me than any other negative emotion. What scares me?

-finding out everyone talks about their mutual disliking of me and I've just been oblivious to how horrible of a person I am
-torture
-dirty bathrooms
-chronic ostracization
-a life of complete mediocrity and wasted potential
-a life devoid of any real, close relationships or never getting to meet that someone who "gets" me
-dying alone, having never gotten to be a part of something bigger than myself
-being in the middle of the open ocean, knowing how much space there is below me, filled with possible nightmare creatures
-meeting my biggest role-models only to have them dislike me
-cockroaches: not any other bug. Just cockroaches. It's the way they scurry. It's that they cling to filth. It's their hardiness. IT'S THEIR CREEPY LITTLE LEG HAIRS!
-being too scared to move forward...letting my fear keep me stunted forever...
-the world ending in anarchy and violent chaos: the ultimate tragedy, seeing man turn against man
 

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I'm afraid of being unable to make my own decisions and I'm afraid of not having the courage to make the right choices.

@AyaSullivan, look at Enneagram if you're interested in fears within personality types. You'll find some good stuff there.
 
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