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The No More Hero
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I'm asking this around the different personality types sub-forums because I believe different personality types are scared of different things, so I want to know, ESFJs, what are you scared of and why?

Thank you in advance.
 

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Slugs, snails, and killing spiders (or any insects in general) that are big enough for you to feel even with a 1in wad of tissue.

And on an equally serious note (because what could be more serious than slugs, snails, and spiders?), I'm afraid of isolation. I can't imagine a worse punishment than being left by myself. When I was young, I would absolutely hate feeling like I was left out of something by my friends. These days, it's not nearly so melodramatic. I find things to occupy my time with, but I'm always happiest when I feel connected to other people (even if it's just taking a loop around the grocery store and seeing other people smile).

OH, heights. I'm also deathly afraid of heights. Skydiving, bungee jumping, and roller coasters are synonymous with torture.
 

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Rejection, being told that I am of no worth.
Becoming attached to someone only to end up hurt by it.
The suspicion that I may always be alone, and that I will never find the right person to grow with.
Never figuring out what I am at the core and being stuck in an endless cycle of mimicry.
Never being able to truly get close to people when it's somehow so important to me.
These are the biggest that I can think of right now.
 

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I'm scared of failure. I'm scared of not being good enough or being perceived as inferior to others. The result is I've been an overachiever my whole life.

I'm also scared that the people I love don't actually love me as much as I love them. I'm scared of ending up alone and friendless or not having anyone to rely on in times of trouble. I'm really scared of something bad happening to my loved ones.
 

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I'm scared of failure. I'm scared of not being good enough or being perceived as inferior to others. The result is I've been an overachiever my whole life.

I'm also scared that the people I love don't actually love me as much as I love them. I'm scared of ending up alone and friendless or not having anyone to rely on in times of trouble. I'm really scared of something bad happening to my loved ones.
I think the 'not being good enough' mentality has largely to do with our type, and for me it stems from my enneagram type as well (3 sx). Placing values externally so that we have no sense of inner acknowledgment, no recognition of self worth. And because of it we try to be the best in everything and try to rake in as much affirmation from others as we can.

I used to think that if I couldn't meet the demands of people fast enough I was just going to let them down and they would hate me. Half of the time I didn't owe these people anything; I hardly knew them. It's all because I read myself according to how others viewed me solely, so an attack that wasn't even personal would be taken as such and with weight.

The ultimate result was me burying whatever true self I had deeper and deeper out of guilt, and I'm now at a loss for what I am. It feels like the calm after the storm, where you can finally see clearly but you're standing alone in the middle of the mess. Do you piece everything back together, or do you take advantage of a clean slate?

Sorry for rambling, your post brought that impending thought to the surface very quickly.
 

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Auntie Duckie
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Not much really. I have things that concern me, and things that trouble me, but outright scared... that's difficult.

How do you know if you are scared/frightened?

For example, my house accidentally burning down is a concern, but I don't know that I would say it scares me? The thought of suddenly loosing a loved one, pet, job, etc... would concern me about I don't know if it's a scare?

I get startled, but not scared. Is it different than fear?


It's a good question. I really don't know what would qualify as "scared" for me. Being stuck in a burning building would scare me, but I don't dwell on it.

I'm sure there are some illogical things, like being buried alive... that would do it, lol.



-ZDD
 

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:happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy::happy:
 

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I think the 'not being good enough' mentality has largely to do with our type, and for me it stems from my enneagram type as well (3 sx). Placing values externally so that we have no sense of inner acknowledgment, no recognition of self worth. And because of it we try to be the best in everything and try to rake in as much affirmation from others as we can.

I used to think that if I couldn't meet the demands of people fast enough I was just going to let them down and they would hate me. Half of the time I didn't owe these people anything; I hardly knew them. It's all because I read myself according to how others viewed me solely, so an attack that wasn't even personal would be taken as such and with weight.

The ultimate result was me burying whatever true self I had deeper and deeper out of guilt, and I'm now at a loss for what I am. It feels like the calm after the storm, where you can finally see clearly but you're standing alone in the middle of the mess. Do you piece everything back together, or do you take advantage of a clean slate?

Sorry for rambling, your post brought that impending thought to the surface very quickly.
No need to apologize! You perfectly described my own feelings about failure. It's kinda dangerous how much our sense of self-worth is tied to how we think others perceive us. I think that's really a Fe thing, and it's something I'm trying to break free of. Like I love how Fi-doms don't seem to give a damn. I'm a Type 2w1 myself, but I was raised with really demanding parents (particularly my mother who is a Type 3 ESFJ) so it's possible I just picked up some of those feelings along the way.
 
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