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the idea that a book is the only one that can explain something.
So, in other words, you failed to understand the context and ended up laughing at the idea of your own making, I see.
I will clarify: I didn't imply that one single book can explain something. I skimmed over some existing notable typologies and suggested the most relevant one to the case.
 
Yes, please! Because I very much want to hear about your experience!
ok, I will probably add as I become aware of other stuff. And go back to answer the questions more directly. But I will give you some of my own observations…bc I’m very introspective.

so, i do have thoughts but not in words. No inner voice. I can hear music in my head, tho, not singing but can hear a tune in my head…and that’s as close to an inner sound I have.
I prefer to listen to music with no singing…and I always have music on.

I see my thoughts/feelings or feel my feelings/thoughts.

bc I can’t just reason/analysis with myself unless I’m in a safe place where no one can hear me or see me…I tend to have a very low tolerance of fear. I can’t stay in fear mode very long. Bc I can only FEEL the fear. I can’t talk myself down, etc…and it will just get stronger until I can’t stand the feeling of it….it very intense. So, I react fairly intensely When fear/danger is present…not suspicions…Now suspicions comes in feeling too. ( something thru actually sounds in other ppl’s voices)…I actually reply to this post already, like on the first page, and I did describe the sound/gut instinct stuff…I don’t know how detail I went…but I can detect sounds/tone in ppl voices a lot of time, kinda like body language but with tones…it’s funny I have great almost phenomenal hearing but no inner voice.
Anyway, when I get the feeling of suspicions it’s not something I react to, just keep my eye on them and become very aware of my emotions surrounding that moment and how my physical body reacts, cues something is wrong….which I notice ppl notice I do that (they notice that I notices them) and when ppl think im “on to them” they back off. Like once i was on vacation and I kept getting this very uncomfortable feeling, (usually feel it physically in my hands first, then my heart beat) and then I noticed this guy taken interest in me and my dad like I would catch him staring at us, always staying a little ways behind us, following us and I just knew he was going to try and rob us…we kept slightly making eye contact but I couldn’t stand it anymore and turn around and stared him down ….my dad was completely oblivious until he started to realize i was being “strange”..realized that I kept looking behind us and I would start to turn down streets opposite to where we were going…walking, to see if this guy was really following us. As my dad was starting to see I was getting visibly upset, walking fast, breathing harder…I finally couldn’t stand it and I turn around and look straight at the guy, facing him with my whole body and just stared at him..then my dad turn around and look to see who I was staring at and then the guy and my dad saw each other, connect, and he just left…I didn’t stop staring at him until he was completely out of sight. Other ppl on the sidewalk (very tourist) we’re walking around me, I could feel my dad tugging me, but I wouldn’t move, just stared until he was completely gone. I do, scary things like that, all the time. I’m not a brave person or physically scary. I can only handle so much fear bc of how much I feel it, I have to face it, if I can’t immediately get away. There’s no thinking about it

also, bc I do feel more than others, I believe, bc I don’t have the inner ear…I feel I have a very good understanding of feelings/emotions…..I can pin point my feelings very well…like you can think in your head. It’s naturally for me to think in feeling. I’m very self aware and self control, even emotionally or especially emotionally.
just imagine every thought you had (where you hear your inner voice like reading this sentence to yourself) you must say out loud.

imagine:
if a little kid at the grocery store runs right into you and you drop a bottle of wine…and it goes crashes onto the floor and stains your clothes….for me, I feel the emotion not talk to myself about this kid and what they did. I feel it… I don’t think in my head “you little shit”… if I do I have to said it out loud ..or mumble to myself, but I have to always know or keep my thought/feelings/emotion in check bc I don’t want to cuss at a little kid…even if they are a little ____still just a kid. So, I always have to be aware of myself which may of cause me to be very self control and aware of my moods, when possible…unless it’s fear, definite fear I react.

also, with emotions sometimes I don’t know my immediate feelings like listening to someone, I purely listen…so for example if they are saying something I find upsetting it won’t hit me until my body reacts…not until I physically start to feel it. I will suddenly feel a reaction and I won’t know why….Like I will suddenly notices my hands are shaking or my heart is beating really fast, …..I have these things I called “checkpoints” to get me on track, you start to see lots of patterns in everything …so the checkpoints help. So, when I start to feel these things…I have to go thru my checklist…I understand what, why my body is reacting…what am I reacting to followed by why am I reacting to….it doesn’t come on words…but a picture of a checklist with words on it or symbols.

also, if I do have dialog with myself, I must be alone bc I don’t want others to hear all my thoughts sometimes I don’t want to know them either. But I’m very guarded with my personal space. I don’t like living around others, even family. I just feel I have strange habits like talking to myself.

like I said I will try to answer the questions more directly, but if there is anything certain you like to know, just ask :)
 
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Discussion starter · #46 ·
ok, I will probably add as I become aware of other stuff. And go back to answer the questions more directly. But I will give you some of my own observations…bc I’m very introspective.

so, i do have thoughts but not in words. No inner voice. I can hear music in my head, tho, not singing but can hear a tune in my head…and that’s as close to an inner sound I have.
I prefer to listen to music with no singing…and I always have music on.

I see my thoughts/feelings or feel my feelings/thoughts.

bc I can’t just reason/analysis with myself unless I’m in a safe place where no one can hear me or see me…I tend to have a very low tolerance of fear. I can’t stay in fear mode very long. Bc I can only FEEL the fear. I can’t talk myself down, etc…and it will just get stronger until I can’t stand the feeling of it….it very intense. So, I react fairly intensely When fear/danger is present…not suspicions…Now suspicions comes in feeling too. ( something thru actually sounds in other ppl’s voices)…I actually reply to this post already, like on the first page, and I did describe the sound/gut instinct stuff…I don’t know how detail I went…but I can detect sounds/tone in ppl voices a lot of time, kinda like body language but with tones…it’s funny I have great almost phenomenal hearing but no inner voice.
Anyway, when I get the feeling of suspicions it’s not something I react to, just keep my eye on them and become very aware of my emotions surrounding that moment and how my physical body reacts, cues something is wrong….which I notice ppl notice I do that (they notice that I notices them) and when ppl think im “on to them” they back off. Like once i was on vacation and I kept getting this very uncomfortable feeling, (usually feel it physically in my hands first, then my heart beat) and then I noticed this guy taken interest in me and my dad like I would catch him staring at us, always staying a little ways behind us, following us and I just knew he was going to try and rob us…we kept slightly making eye contact but I couldn’t stand it anymore and turn around and stared him down ….my dad was completely oblivious until he started to realize i was being “strange”..realized that I kept looking behind us and I would start to turn down streets opposite to where we were going…walking, to see if this guy was really following us. As my dad was starting to see I was getting visibly upset, walking fast, breathing harder…I finally couldn’t stand it and I turn around and look straight at the guy, facing him with my whole body and just stared at him..then my dad turn around and look to see who I was staring at and then the guy and my dad saw each other, connect, and he just left…I didn’t stop staring at him until he was completely out of sight. Other ppl on the sidewalk (very tourist) we’re walking around me, I could feel my dad tugging me, but I wouldn’t move, just stared until he was completely gone. I do, scary things like that, all the time. I’m not a brave person or physically scary. I can only handle so much fear bc of how much I feel it, I have to face it, if I can’t immediately get away. There’s no thinking about it

also, bc I do feel more than others, I believe, bc I don’t have the inner ear…I feel I have a very good understanding of feelings/emotions…..I can pin point my feelings very well…like you can think in your head. It’s naturally for me to think in feeling. I’m very self aware and self control, even emotionally or especially emotionally.
just imagine every thought you had (where you hear your inner voice like reading this sentence to yourself) you must say out loud.

imagine:
if a little kid at the grocery store runs right into you and you drop a bottle of wine…and it goes crashes onto the floor and stains your clothes….for me, I feel the emotion not talk to myself about this kid and what they did. I feel it… I don’t think in my head “you little shit”… if I do I have to said it out loud ..or mumble to myself, but I have to always know or keep my thought/feelings/emotion in check bc I don’t want to cuss at a little kid…even if they are a little ____still just a kid. So, I always have to be aware of myself which may of cause me to be very self control and aware of my moods, when possible…unless it’s fear, definite fear I react.

also, with emotions sometimes I don’t know my immediate feelings like listening to someone, I purely listen…so for example if they are saying something I find upsetting it won’t hit me until my body reacts…not until I physically start to feel it. I will suddenly feel a reaction and I won’t know why….Like I will suddenly notices my hands are shaking or my heart is beating really fast, …..I have these things I called “checkpoints” to get me on track, you start to see lots of patterns in everything …so the checkpoints help. So, when I start to feel these things…I have to go thru my checklist…I understand what, why my body is reacting…what am I reacting to followed by why am I reacting to….it doesn’t come on words…but a picture of a checklist with words on it or symbols.

also, if I do have dialog with myself, I must be alone bc I don’t want others to hear all my thoughts sometimes I don’t want to know them either. But I’m very guarded with my personal space. I don’t like living around others, even family. I just feel I have strange habits like talking to myself.

like I said I will try to answer the questions more directly, but if there is anything certain you like to know, just ask :)
I have a ton of questions, I hope you don’t mind.

1. what happens when you’re reading? For instance, reading dialogue? Reading that there was a band playing?
2. Does writing help you?
3. Does your family know this about you?
4. I don’t know how old you are but studying aphantasia has been helpful to many people.Have you met with anyone else with this problem? Or talked to a therapist about it?
5. Besides talking out loud to yourself what else do you need to adapt to make your world work?
There are lots of artists with aphantasia, what would you think about creating music?
 
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1. what happens when you’re reading? For instance, reading dialogue? Reading that there was a band playing?
I must read sentences out loud. Kinda mumble to myself. I see the images in my head. Also I got like this automatic “emotion” set to every word. Meaning every word has an emotion tied to it.

like: ”cute” feels different than “handsome”. Cute has a youthful, happy feeling…where as handsome is a heavier feeling, more mature and a certain etiquettecy to it. As forth, gorgeous, pretty, striking….all feel slightly different…pretty is soft but generic …as gorgeous is classy and striking is ambitious and bold feeling where As stunning is awe

every word has a sign feeling to me. And they start to paint a picture in my head

omg, I was just about done answering all your questions and then it blanks out for a sec and erased everything up to here….agrrrrrrrr. I wrote a lot too.

2. Does writing help you?
yes and no. I’m dyslexic so it’s all hard.
when I write my way, it’s a lot easier and less time consuming….I write key words, feelings or symbols and I leave circular space around it, and I do this all over the page…then I go back and add anything as I recall things to put down…i use color to connect the pieces together….i can put info down on one side of a piece of paper this way vs writing everything out in a linear fashion which would take about 15 plus pages for the same amount of info. But no one can understand it but me.
I have a very hard time with words/thoughts/feelings or writing, to put things in a linear understandable sentence. I can speak fine, mostly …I make up a lot of words, and I talk with my hands, like I’m playing charades.

I think in multi-layers. I believe that’s why I over explain myself a lot, making sure you got the right “feeling” to understand (I use stories and metaphors) and I use a lot of ( ) and …. Bc of this overlapping thoughts and it gets confusing for me.

think of my mind like a horror/psychological movie….first note: how much faster movies can tell a story vs a book ( books may have more details) but movies can connect everything faster (more abstract)…and like with horror movies sometimes there are lots of stuff going on in the background that is important, maybe even more important…layers, but then try to write it all down in a linear fashion.

Does your family know this about you?
Yes, but not until way later, but they knew I was dyslexic

ok my iPad keeps glitching so I’m going to post before I lose it again.
 
Yep, I have aphantasia too, although not total aphantasia. If I attempt to imagine something and rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, it usually lands somewhere between 2 and 3 I'd say. I might be able to push it toward a full 3 or close to a 4 if I concentrate enough, but it takes a lot of energy and eventually reverts back to where it was. Things look wispy and ill-defined in my head, details roam around or disappear, colors are greatly desaturated, there's rarely a background, etc. I've been wanting to make an animated illustration of what things look like in my head, but who knows when I'll get around to that.

I was always aware some people had stronger or weaker sense of visualization, but until I learned about aphantasia, I didn't realize the difference was so drastic, or that people could imagine things with near-perfect depth and accuracy.

My inner hearing is essentially the same as my inner vision. Taste, touch, and smell are even weaker. The exception is when I'm reading, especially fiction, if I get really engrossed, then everything goes up significantly, I'd say vision gets closer to 7 at some points, although typically hangs around maybe 5 until I'm disrupted. I always have music playing in my head, it never stops, and it's hard to control, but it's not all that clear.
 
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1. First, what type do you think you are? How sure are you? Give a percentile.

INFJ. Percentile? Ah, well let's say 80 - 90%. I don't really know what other type I would be though if that counts for anything. I've been typed this way ever since I've joined the forum and I've not yet heard much of any argument for why I might be mistyped. People seem to agree with it.
At most someone once thought I was an INFP because I expressed indignation at them (even though they still claimed I was a Ti user anyway so how does that work? lol) but that's about it. I generally relate with the type.

2. Visual. How does your brain experience visualization when your eyes are closed? Can you think of colors? Can you picture an apple? Can you think of what your loved ones look like? What acquaintances look like? Do you see background detail clearly if you decide to picture an apple or a person? Can you picture an alligator ice skating? Do you see it in cartoon or like a real alligator on a skateboard or can you do both? Can you picture yourself snorkeling with a top hat on? Does the hat stay on? Do you need to work to imagine the details of fish and water or does that come very easily? How long will this stay in your mind after not actively recalling it anymore? Can you look all around you and see all the detail, shadows and sunlight? Can you picture yourself somewhere you’ve never been? Imagine people clearly who you’ve never seen? What about in dreams while asleep?

Yeah, I can picture anything without much effort. Colors, an apple, what my loved ones look like, alligator ice-sakting (which my initial thought is that of a cartoon alligator because the idea of a real one ice skating is pretty freaky). I can picture myself snorkling with a top hat that stays on my head. lol and being in places I've never been and talking with people I've never met is easy.

Details though? If it's not the main focus of the visualization then the background is just faintly representative of an environment that fits the subject matter. It doesn't take effort though to imagine details and make an enhanced background but it's like if it's not particularly essential to get the concept across then my brain's default position seems to not care so much about extraneous detailing. Kinda seems like my visual memory and imagination has its render settings set to low but goes to high quality when pressed. Haha.

Imaginatory visuals can stay in my mind pretty long like any interesting memory I could gather from waking life.

My dreams? They're almost purely visual. They look like real life.

3. Sound when it is quiet. Can you hear sounds? Can you hear a bird singing? Can you play a song from the radio in your head? Can you think of what someone from your past’s voice sounds like? Can you hear exactly some things that they said? Can you imagine a new tune? Can your brain make a mash-up? Can you do more advanced things, like does your brain make symphonies? What about when dreaming while asleep?

Yeah, I can do all of that including mashups, though hearing a song in my head isn't as good as actually listening to it.. I can imagine people's voices but it's hard for me to imagine someone saying sentences I wouldn't expect to hear them say. I can't imagine my mom saying "I like big butts and I can not lie." That's too out of character..

I would assume there's sound in my dreams because I've had dreams where I was in a conversation, and I think I've heard some really beautiful music too in dreams that I've never heard before in waking life..

4. Touch. While touching nothing with your hands, can you imagine touching something furry or wet? Can you imagine/recall certain textures of loved ones and clothing? Can you imagine the pain from burning your finger clearly as if it had happened? Can you imagine what a frozen elephant might feel like? What about when dreaming when asleep?

Yeah, I can imagine the general tactile feel of something like fur, water, clothing.
I can imagine pain from getting burnt too maybe because I accidentally touched an iron as a kid and it was painful enough for the sensation to be easy enough to recall minus the actual pain being felt

A frozen elephant? Mmm, I can actually. I imagine it's like touching a cold tree trunk in the winter with frost on it.

I think I've felt touch in my dreams because I seem to do a lot of climbing up to real high heights in them and sometimes find myself hanging onto a rope or beam trying not to fall to my death, my dream hands begin to feel warm, sweaty and like there's friction. I also feel a dizzy sensation in those kind of dreams.

5. Smell. Can you think of something that smells sweet or sour? Can you think of vanilla and smell it? A strawberry? Are there certain smells you can recall exactly and other’s not? What about how hugging your loved ones smells? What about creating a perfume? Imagine mixing strawberry and vanilla and that flower you like together? What about mixing “bad” smells together? Rotting meat and a latrine with old fish? What about when you are asleep dreaming?

I can kinda remember that certain things have a distinctive aroma such as the gas station or the smell of new or old books, or the smell of foods I really love and that makes me feel hungry. I can vaguely recall what a strawberry smells like because it's pleasant but if it's unpleasant then I think I must repress most of it. Haha I think I remember the smell of rotten eggs because that was intense.

Can't really recall the smell of loved ones, though I do remember liking how my ex-gf smelled. Something akin to strawberry I think.

Mixing smells together? Mmm, I can't really do it so well. Maybe 2 things at most.

Can't ever recall sensing smell in a dream.

6. Taste. Can you imagine/taste sweet or salty? What about bitter end sour? What about tasting an orange and then a grapefruit? Do you get the general abstract of it? Or is it almost like you are actually tasting it? Can your brain make asparagus with cheddar cheese and rosemary? Can you taste cinnamon rolls with cardamom and cherries? What about while asleep dreaming?

Sorta. I get the general abstract feeling of a taste I've had, especially favorite food or stuff I eat regularly, but the sensation is faint compared to actually eating the stuff. It also makes me kinda hungry.

I can't remember ever experiencing taste in dreams.


It's an interesting topic. Didn't know people had such a condition where they can't visualize.
 
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Discussion starter · #50 ·
And @Hexigoon there is no way you’re anything but an INFJ. :). Thanks for answering.
 
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