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Discussion Starter #1
I met this boy online, we liked our thoughts, we discussed on issues whole day, we love talking to each other, we care for each other, we like each other a lot, we know each other's real identities.

Problem :
1. We can't meet, we have certain limitations.
2. I got struck by this idea that maybe I am being lied to. I trust him, but only on the basis of talks, how can I trust him? Its not correct! I need to see him, for whether his identity is real, and what he tells about himself is real or not.. how can I judge anyone on the basis of talks and thoughts alone? No right! So that's the reason I am keeping this relationship on hold.
I love him a lot. But I don't want to get betrayed upon.

And, we have certain limitations, we can't meet.
Even if we meet once or twice, still that meeting can't give a real idea about whether what he tells about himself is real or fake. It can only be possible if we live in same area, but living in same area isn't possible at all, atleast not for 1-2 years.
He feels bad, that I am not able to trust him.
But how can I?
Point is, that I do trust him, I believe him, but I should not trust him! Because its not right to trust anyone on the basis of listening to their thoughts and talking to them whole day.

Problem for me right now : he is not ready to understand this trust kind of thing, he feels a lot bad, when he listens anything like this from me.
What should be done?
 

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You can try talking on Skype if you haven’t, my brother literally met and married someone from a different country just by talking on Skype.

But if you ask for my personal opininon, I’d say that you shouldn’t trust people you find online (they can be predatory) and limit your dating to people in real life where you have more of a chance to see them for who they really are. Also long distance relationships rarely work out so there’s that.
 

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Not everyone online is a bad person. People can lie to your face as well, you only know what they look like and what their voice sounds like. Hell, they could even be changing their voice if they really wanted to. So in my opinion, just cause you're seeing someone in person doesn't mean you really know them.

My opinion is, give it time. But be careful.
 
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People online are only here for entertainment and satiate certain consumeristic needs. Deeper friendships/relationships aren't possible. You'll be abandoned as soon as something else interests him more.

I learned this the hard way. Distance really is a factor in friendships, even if the person online is 100% honest and telling you the full truth about everything. There's something about being with someone in person and that presence that makes bonds possible. Just chatting online gives an illusion of a bond. Maybe you can trust him but can you trust the feeling of attachment that you are experiencing? He's fun but being fun doesn't create love on its own.
 

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I'm going to give this advice as if it were to a young person.

0) Are you done with your education/skill trade training? Have you lived completely on your own and been responsible for all of your own finances for at least 1 year? This is a must. This helps you grow more than anything, you learn what you like and what you don't. Don't even think about a serious relationship until this is done.


1) Everyone has emotional needs. So, you wanting to seek this out because it makes you feel good is valid.

2) If this is taking up more than a few minutes a day of your mental energy, or taking away from your overall happiness. You might consider trying a new way of thinking about obtaining your goals. We established that goal in point 1, get good feelings from relationship(s). We all like good feelings. It's okay.

3) How I would do it if I was a young person again. (I'm 31 now)
A) Take some time to evaluate my definitions of dating and it's relation to sex and long term bonding.
-- Dating around does not make you loose or slutty. Dating doesn't have to mean sex, or being mutually exclusive. Dating should be a tool find what you like and don't like about a partner, or yourself. Dating should include discussing values, morals, goals, and standards. It should also include exploring physical hobbies and tastes(Bowling, going to parks, zoo, crafting, ETC..)

4) Once you've completed steps 1-3, and you know who you are and what you like and more importantly what you don't like
 

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Discussion Starter #7
People online are only here for entertainment and satiate certain consumeristic needs. Deeper friendships/relationships aren't possible. You'll be abandoned as soon as something else interests him more.
I guess you are right. And maybe something else has interested him now! He isn't that into me.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
I'm going to give this advice as if it were to a young person.

0) Are you done with your education/skill trade training? Have you lived completely on your own and been responsible for all of your own finances for at least 1 year? This is a must. This helps you grow more than anything, you learn what you like and what you don't. Don't even think about a serious relationship until this is done.


1) Everyone has emotional needs. So, you wanting to seek this out because it makes you feel good is valid.

2) If this is taking up more than a few minutes a day of your mental energy, or taking away from your overall happiness. You might consider trying a new way of thinking about obtaining your goals. We established that goal in point 1, get good feelings from relationship(s). We all like good feelings. It's okay.

3) How I would do it if I was a young person again. (I'm 31 now)
A) Take some time to evaluate my definitions of dating and it's relation to sex and long term bonding.
-- Dating around does not make you loose or slutty. Dating doesn't have to mean sex, or being mutually exclusive. Dating should be a tool find what you like and don't like about a partner, or yourself. Dating should include discussing values, morals, goals, and standards. It should also include exploring physical hobbies and tastes(Bowling, going to parks, zoo, crafting, ETC..)

4) Once you've completed steps 1-3, and you know who you are and what you like and more importantly what you don't like
That is such a PERFECT advice. Thank you, I will surely follow that. It actually saves a lot of previous time and emotional and mental energy.
 
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