I actually wasn't sure to think about this thread, at first. But, I've started to read through some Almaas and he seems to really like to drive home that all of the holy ideas are present in all of us. Pretty interesting to me. So, I thought I'd give this a try.
Deep down inside me, I have some kinds of utopian desires. Although I am a very imperfect person and I am very accepting of other people who also do selfish, anti-social things, somehow I do have a sense that moral righteousness is such a valuable yet scarce thing in this world.
I must admit that I do get a bit of a rush out of genuinely helping someone. I'd say I am more lackadaisical about whether my efforts are appreciated, but altruism truly is enjoyable. I have this theory that the real "prize" of capitalism isn't wealth, it's the ability to be boundlessly altruistic - to visibly see the fruits of your labor in helping people. Just look at all the billionaires throughout history, and what a kick they seem to have gotten out of throwing their money at causes. :tongue:
Did I say helping people is a rush? Well, getting kudos and admiration when I succeed at something is an even bigger rush. I think, being a nine and being used to being overlooked, sometimes I kind of repress the fact that I love it. But, when I feel like everything's in order - perhaps when I'm integrating - I soak the praise up like a flower soaks up water.
Honestly, this is one I have trouble understanding. But, I definitely do have an inherent drive to be unique and in a sense, better than others because of this uniqueness. Perhaps I am a bit of a closet hipster? But, it's not so dramatic... so I think it is more related to what I think is my 3w4 fix. There are also times when I get in touch with my emotions, and I enjoy experiencing their nuances. But, these moments are few and far between.
It's hard to say where the nine detachment ends and the five detachment begins, but I definitely think I feel it most in the process of learning. I am a lot more voracious than most when I am learning - I am very systematic in acquiring knowledge, getting a grasp of things. And, it is not simply for the sake of it - it feels more like it gives me a sense of power - if I know more than "the other guy" then there is no way he could be better than me... could he? I am really quite confident in my 5w6 fix.
This I'm not too sure about. I'm honestly a little unclear about how this type really works, so it's hard to say. However, I can definitely relate to the concept of being "counter-phobic." Most of the time, fear is something to be conquered for me, not to be... feared? At any rate, you are supposed to have the same stacking in your dis-integration point, and sx/sp 6 is CP, and I can definitely see that in me.
I'd say I relate to seven most in my pleasure-seeking, and my polymath-like interest in such a damn variety of things. I love connecting the dots between disparate things - mostly for kicks - and as far as I can tell that is a common quality in sevens. But, I can't relate to the generous enthusiasm of a lot of sevens... I am much too selfish and reticent for that. :frustrating:
Hmm... my wing... well, the biggest things would be my lust and my obsession with "checking" people who cross my boundaries. Honestly, something happened recently where I scared even myself with how angry I got when someone crossed the line. Yet, although the intensity scared me, I don't feel any sense of guilt. In my mind, no one can cross that line; if they do, you are justified in an aggressive response. It's true that if I think about it morally it might not make sense, but my overwhelming instinct is that no one has a right to mess with others in certain ways. Also, well, inside I am really quite a "fighter".
This was actually a really interesting exercise! A very good idea for a thread.