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As an INFP guy, I feel isolated most of the time. I am married, and I have a few friends. But mostly I keep to myself, reading or working. To feel connected, I will talk to other guys about weather, sports, whatever they are interested in. But most guys can sense I'm not that interested, and I'm not that interested. I like independent films, spirituality and writing. I am curoius what subjects other INFP guys enjoy discussing with other guys, so I can get more connected. Any suggestions?
 

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As an INFP guy, I feel isolated most of the time. I am married, and I have a few friends. But mostly I keep to myself, reading or working. To feel connected, I will talk to other guys about weather, sports, whatever they are interested in. But most guys can sense I'm not that interested, and I'm not that interested. I like independent films, spirituality and writing. I am curoius what subjects other INFP guys enjoy discussing with other guys, so I can get more connected. Any suggestions?
Yeah, I feel you. It's usually either about those topics or about women (in a superficial kind of way, suffice to say). The solution would be, obviously, to go find other NFs to surround ourselves with. But alas, that's easier said than done.
 

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Yeah. It's kind of hard talking deeply with people especily at gatherings. Most of my guy friends just talk about girls, and since I'm in high school, we're all basically horndogs. I don't mind them talking about bodies and all, but I never seem to find anything to say. I understand where you're coming from, hm.

I do have one or two INFx friends tho, and usually we talk about art or video games. Or the people/stories in books. Or we talk about other people and our relations with them.

Hope this helps :wink:
 

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I have this same problem as an INFP girl. Pop culture, shopping, hot guys. I could care less..
Same here...every time we have a family gather all my aunts and cousins will sit around talking about makeup for HOURS. It drives me insane and I get soooo bored.

For males...I had an INFx guy friend who would mostly talk to me about his opinions regarding politics, religion, culture, and his personal struggles. Even though I'm a girl, I imagine he would like talking about the same things with guys.
 

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Find an ISFP to make friends with, my best friend is one, and we have a lot in common and he listens to my weird philosophising streak.

I know the type of guy you mean though, the traditional bloke. Yeah my dad is like that, I don't really feel that much in common with him, other than his taste in music.

Sports, racing etc is all just whatev's. Go to some open mic nights and find musician friends, not only do they talk about music, they usually are fairly intelligent and like discussing other matters or at least listening to them.

Movies are one way I relate to those kind of guys you are talking about. Get them talking about why they like certain movies and certain characters and then what they like about certain characters, you might be surprised about what they say, because it will give you a clue as to what they value in life, so even if they start to talk about subjects you don't find particularly interesting, you can at least start analysing them whilst they talk. lol :tongue:. I do this, not to be rude, just sometimes I like hearing them get excited about a particular thing in life, so then I can appreciate and see their happiness and think 'wow, good for them', I may not always enjoy the conversation or want to be friends with them, yet I can still appreciate the human-ness of them.

Also teachers are another good set of people to get to know, not all though some are NFs and if you do some volunteering at a local school, like I did, you may make a NF friend like I did. She is an ENFJ and lovely, and we chat about movies and life and share the same ideas about things, which is cool.

So yeah, learn guitar or something, go to a jam night. Or talk about movies or make friends with teachers.
 

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The two guys that I hang out with the most are INTP and ISFP. The ISFP has a very developed N and so we all basically talk about philosophical things and psychology a lot. We have really connected and basically talk about anything. I find that an NT really brings a lot to the table when conversing, because they always have an interesting and intellectual topic stirring in their heads. Usually a topic that can also be discussed for a great deal of time.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Go to some open mic nights and find musician friends, not only do they talk about music, they usually are fairly intelligent and like discussing other matters or at least listening to them.

Movies are one way I relate to those kind of guys you are talking about. Get them talking about why they like certain movies and certain characters and then what they like about certain characters...
Thanks for all the great suggestions. I play guitar, so going to open mike night sounds good. I might just get up enough nerve to play something, too. Movies are a good conversation starter. And volunteering is a good idea.
 

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Man, I would love to have a meaningful discussion with a another guy. My wife and I have great conversation, but our male friends are all sports and talking trash/ gossiping about each other like schoolchildren.
Don't get me wrong, I love sports, but I could not imagine discussing a recently attended ballet or musical. Or even just relating cute stories about our kids.
I would love to get into more philosophical topics, but I cannot find friends like that, because men like that are rare and being an INFP makes it even more difficult to find friends.
Any male friends I have had that I could have great conversation with I have eventually fallen for to some degree, but never pursued for fear of ruining the friendship. And now that I'm married, any such relationship would be taboo because when I make these emotional connections, physical feelings nearly always soon follow.
 

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I've always thought perception of objects is a great subject to talk about. For example, let's take a brown box. Some people see it as just a normal box, some people see it as a flourished world of creativity and what they can do with it, some people can see the box as their best friend, some people see the box as a symbolism of their childhood, etc. It's always interesting to see how people think and see over this certain object, emotion, thought, or whatever and they can elaborate why and you'll have a better understanding of how they view and how their mind works.

You can then give your view on it and you guys can discuss then agree and/or disagree on the perception. It's nice to see an exchange of information of different people.
 

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Generally music, strange things on the internet, pop culture, ironic observations about crazy stuff in our society, ninja vs. pirates discussions. Hypothetical discussions in general. Some pseudophilosophical shizzle. Hmmm.... something like that.
 

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I'm an INFP girl, and feel the same way. I hate small talk, and I don't care about talking about superficial things such as makeup, clothes, shopping, and how hot guys are. I could honestly care less about those things. I care about looking at least acceptable in public, but actually talking about makeup and those kind of things are boring.
 

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The most fun conversations I have are either philosophical or coming up with a ridiculous idea and trying to make it feasible.

I made a point to learn a bit about everything so I can bluff my way through most conversations.

Or Hypothetical situations! those are always fun, you can throw it around people, allows everyone to be creative in their answers. Even simple stuff like "would you rather lose your eyesight or the ability to walk" can turn into a massive 2 hour conversation with the right people :p
I've had a few of those types of conversations with 'the dudes'.

Talking music is good, I used to use that as an icebreaker and point of common ground sometimes.
 

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As an INFP guy, I feel isolated most of the time. I am married, and I have a few friends. But mostly I keep to myself, reading or working. To feel connected, I will talk to other guys about weather, sports, whatever they are interested in. But most guys can sense I'm not that interested, and I'm not that interested. I like independent films, spirituality and writing. I am curoius what subjects other INFP guys enjoy discussing with other guys, so I can get more connected. Any suggestions?
What a good question! Gosh the INFP males are the women of the male world. So chalked full of emotion. Yeah, I can see how you could feel incredibly isolated, especially around typical SJ/SP types, which would be very jarring.

Hm, I would think the best thing to do is to involve yourself in activities that encourage the expression of the emotional depth you have. Maybe a book club or poetry society. Perhaps, if you are into it, a church group. If you are Christian, the Emergent Churches seem to have a great platform for dialogue on a one-to-one basis with other folk. Probably any society with animals would offer the emotional side as well.

As for just talking to guys whenever, maybe try topics that usually possess more emotion to them like politics, religion, etc. However, I really understand how awkward this must feel for you guys.

Maybe just stick to females.
 

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I like talking about deep stuff, but most of the time I just talk to my male friends about video games and movies and animé. The deepest thing I have talked to my current closest friend about is girls. I like him, but sometimes I wish he was a little more sensitive. But I tend to have more of the conversations I'd like to have with an online friend so it's not too bad. Don't tend to get on with guys too well. Even though they make up 90% of my friends.
 

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Oh yeah, being generally hilarious helps. So, those crazy hypothetical's that you guys keep mentioning. I forgot about those. Keep it up.
 

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Science, Movies, Martial Arts, Nutrition and working out. Keep it superficial.
 

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I have a little chatroom with some friends from a few years back. It's like our online bar.

Most of the things we chat about..
Sex / girlfriends -- ranting and raving.
Gaming / computers -- we all have our nerd moments
share FMLs / funny pics on the web
Financial stocks - (random eh :D)

The rest is really just "what do you think of this ________" so a 2nd opinion on whatever may be troubling the mind.

and the odd time we have some sort of debate on something scientific or philosophical. Mostly just the above though.
 
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