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What three questions would you ask to tell if I am ENFJ or not?

3568 Views 35 Replies 10 Participants Last post by  Kate7
Hello confident and insightful ENFJ'S - can you tell who is one of your own? Am I? People on this site have typed me as INFP but I am not so sure and think I may be ENFJ ... would REALLY APPRECIATE some insightful and definitive questioning that would clear this up for me. Ta :)
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Do you have a small group (less than 4) of very close friends? (=> INFP)
Or you have a large group (more than 10) of not-so-close friends? (=> ENFJ)

I think the ENFJ will also have a small group of close friends, but the INFP almost never has a large group of normal friends.
Sounds more like you're introverted.

Try to not misunderstand what your type means.

The I in INFP doesn't stand for hating people.

From the's personality test page's explanation of introversion:

While you enjoy some social gatherings, you tend to prefer in depth, one-on-one conversations with a few people rather than having lots of brief conversations with many different people.
From what you're saying, you like people (all INFPs like to have social interactions) but your preference is to have few close relationships.

I find social interactions energising, but only a certain dose of it, and when I haven't had any in a while. However, prolonged social interactions with many people will eventually drain my energy. It's kinda like chocolate or cake, you like it, but too much of it hurts.

Also, while we're talking about misunderstanding your type.

The P doesn't mean you're sloppy and messy. I actually hate sloppiness and I like things to be clean and tidy. However, I don't have any elaborate plans for anything, I mostly just go with the flow. I prefer to keep things open and I don't like following "rules" and "best practices" just because everyone else does. I always try to find better ways of doing things. I have many ideas for projects, but many of them stay just that, ideas, maybe written down somewhere ..
Basically I find plans and schedules confining, I prefer to have the freedom to be spontaneous. It's not just a personality quirk, I actually think that's a better way of doing things, because it means you adapt to changing conditions.
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Definitely sounds like a J :)

Maybe INFJ? Does this description seem to fit you more or less? Portrait of an INFJ

I am a very friendly introvert I think, which means I get quite excited and talkative when with people, but will stick to one person in depth (if they seem to be liking me!).
I only get talkative with people I know, or in a social setting where they are somewhat of a relative and seem open and approachable. Basically if I like them or they seem likeable to me.
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Shyness, hmm. I don't think so. Introverts probably end up being shy (I mean, I am), but it's not necessary. I've seen introverts that don't come off as shy at all, mostly because they come from a family of extroverts, and they were encouraged (in a good way) during their upbringing to be sociable.

However, take a person and drop him in a completely strange place, and you'll notice a difference between how introverts and extroverts behave: the extrovert will go down the street and start greeting random strangers to get to know everyone around the neighbourhood! The introvert will take things slow, get to know the people one person at a time, on an occasional basis.

So the extrovert just goes out of his way to greet random people and try to get to know them. An introvert wouldn't do that on his own.

At least that's what I think.

My point is, introversion is not a bad thing, introverts don't have to be shy and they definitely don't hate people or relationships.
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Do you actually KNOW any people who would go down the street and start greeting random strangers though?
Yup! That's where I got the example from. Though in honesty he might be an extreme case, I don't know, but he literally would go down the street and sit at the local grocery store (err, don't think American style .. I'm talking middle east here) and talk for hours with people. Since he just got here a few weeks ago, they must be (mostly) strangers. I'm also assuming these other people must be extroverts too.

Thanks heaps Hasenj, you've really helped me!
You're welcome, glad I can help :proud:
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