[hasenj]

Sounds more like you're introverted.

Try to not misunderstand what your type means.

The I in INFP doesn't stand for hating people.

From the personalitytype.com's personality test page's explanation of introversion:

While you enjoy some social gatherings, you tend to prefer in depth, one-on-one conversations with a few people rather than having lots of brief conversations with many different people.

From what you're saying, you like people (all INFPs like to have social interactions) but your preference is to have few close relationships.

I find social interactions energising, but only a certain dose of it, and when I haven't had any in a while. However, prolonged social interactions with many people will eventually drain my energy. It's kinda like chocolate or cake, you like it, but too much of it hurts.

Also, while we're talking about misunderstanding your type.

The P doesn't mean you're sloppy and messy. I actually hate sloppiness and I like things to be clean and tidy. However, I don't have any elaborate plans for anything, I mostly just go with the flow. I prefer to keep things open and I don't like following "rules" and "best practices" just because everyone else does. I always try to find better ways of doing things. I have many ideas for projects, but many of them stay just that, ideas, maybe written down somewhere ..
Basically I find plans and schedules confining, I prefer to have the freedom to be spontaneous. It's not just a personality quirk, I actually think that's a better way of doing things, because it means you adapt to changing conditions.

 

[PaintingThoreau]

Well I do feel affectionately towards the people that serve me at the garage/grocery store etc. but don't exactly make friends with them, just smile and chat a little and feel connected, you know?
And when a new person starts at work I would never take them to lunch to find out all about them but I would enjoy getting to know them as time goes on.
As regards conflict, I don't know. I don't carry much baggage because I forgive easily, but I'am not the most fiery or upset when it's happening. I may feel very upset on the inside but will act fairly calmly still - unless I really lose it, and then I shout and scream (but that is occasional and I always feel reall bad afterwards)

So not quite yes, but not no either.
And the memory of my first boyfriend haunted me for quite a long time .. maybe 5 - 10 years. Doesn't any more though.

Thanks Painting Thoreau - so what is your verdict?

I would suggest that you might not be an ENFJ. But whatever you are you sound lovely!!
x:tongue:

 

[Kate7]

Basically I find plans and schedules confining, I prefer to have the freedom to be spontaneous. It's not just a personality quirk, I actually think that's a better way of doing things, because it means you adapt to changing conditions.

Thanks for all you said hasenj I am a very friendly introvert I think, which means I get quite excited and talkative when with people, but will stick to one person in depth (if they seem to be liking me!).

Re J or P. This is tough too. I like things clean and tidy yes. I also like making plans and schedules too though: this is where I thought I might be enfj - because I think I am a J in this regard but I don't think my lead function is intuition (infj or enfp). Basically I like making plans and schedules and, while I find myself going with the flow a lot, I do feel a little panicky being like that, am scared I will miss something etc. My ideal life would have a clear long term plan and clear short term routines to getting there and I would enjoy creating these plans and routines but I would leave plenty of space in between things ... I don't like plans being too 'tight' as keeping to exact time schedules is stressful, and I'd always want a little room to move, to think, to deal with the important stuff that comes up that you CAN'T schedule in (often the most important stuff - the people stuff, you iknow!) Am I sounding like a J, or a P? An infp or an enfj? This is my question? Anybody got a feel for me?

Thanks you all

 

[Kate7]

I would suggest that you might not be an ENFJ. But whatever you are you sound lovely!!
x:tongue:

well that's nice, thank you .. even after I said that when people get hurt, I get irritated???

So what 'type' do you think I am if not enfj? I do think I am friendly and outgoing and emotionally warm/expressive, but I am not as distracted or bounce from person to person as the other E's I know. I seem 'high' emotionally sometimes, but I am not really a 'high energy' person and don't really achieve much in my life (compared to other E's, again) ... i think too much and need 'space' between things ... oh, and plenty of sleep too. How dull I sound!!

I think I must be N, even though I STILL don't understand what Ni is - it's just that it's obvious to all that S qualities are very weak in me (and both Si and Se come up low in my cognitive processes results) - BUT I really do admire practicality greatly and always try to be practical, and even get annoyed (privately) with people when they are over imaginative/speculative/insane!! (you know?)

J/P is confusing too - I am J'ish in that I like schedules and plans (they make life easier) and I get tense and annoyed (again, privately) with people if they procrastinate for too long or aren't clear in communications/organisational plans. Mostly I am a very peaceful person though who goes with the flow and gets along with everyone and expresses my opinions in a respectful way. I really wish I 'fit' somewhere, it's quite annoying!!! Thanks for all your help though Any insights welcomed and appreciated

 

[hasenj]

Definitely sounds like a J

Maybe INFJ? Does this description seem to fit you more or less? Portrait of an INFJ

I am a very friendly introvert I think, which means I get quite excited and talkative when with people, but will stick to one person in depth (if they seem to be liking me!).

I only get talkative with people I know, or in a social setting where they are somewhat of a relative and seem open and approachable. Basically if I like them or they seem likeable to me.

 

[Kate7]

Yes, well maybe I am talking about situations with relatives and people others introduce to me and who seem to like me ... Im just not a SHY to talk person. I will open up about myself quite readily I think, and often be the one in a small group I am familiar with (or that I particularly click with) that does the most talking. This seems inconsistent with the introversion thing?

INFJ's seem to be even more private than INFP's in much of thier self-descriptions, though that doesn't make much sense to me since their extraverted function is supposed to be Fe??

So yeah, I am still unsure.

 

[thehigher]

1. Do you eat peanut butter?
2. How many kids will you have?
3. What's your favorite celeb?
4. What's my name?

 

[Kate7]

1. Do you eat peanut butter?
2. How many kids will you have?
3. What's your favorite celeb?
4. What's my name?

These are surely the best questions yet, you are a genius ... Yes, I eat peanut butter, I have 5 kids, I can only think of celeb's I DON'T like, and your name would have to be Rumplestiltskin, right?

 

[sharrkmaster]

These are surely the best questions yet, you are a genius ... Yes, I eat peanut butter, I have 5 kids, I can only think of celeb's I DON'T like, and your name would have to be Rumplestiltskin, right?

You're definitely an ESFP then.

 

[hasenj]

Shyness, hmm. I don't think so. Introverts probably end up being shy (I mean, I am), but it's not necessary. I've seen introverts that don't come off as shy at all, mostly because they come from a family of extroverts, and they were encouraged (in a good way) during their upbringing to be sociable.

However, take a person and drop him in a completely strange place, and you'll notice a difference between how introverts and extroverts behave: the extrovert will go down the street and start greeting random strangers to get to know everyone around the neighbourhood! The introvert will take things slow, get to know the people one person at a time, on an occasional basis.

So the extrovert just goes out of his way to greet random people and try to get to know them. An introvert wouldn't do that on his own.

At least that's what I think.

My point is, introversion is not a bad thing, introverts don't have to be shy and they definitely don't hate people or relationships.

 

[Kate7]

You're definitely an ESFP then.

Of course! Another genius ... how can I thank you! :wink: (was it the peanut butter that gave it away?)

 

[Kate7]

However, take a person and drop him in a completely strange place, and you'll notice a difference between how introverts and extroverts behave: the extrovert will go down the street and start greeting random strangers to get to know everyone around the neighbourhood! The introvert will take things slow, get to know the people one person at a time, on an occasional basis. So the extrovert just goes out of his way to greet random people and try to get to know them. An introvert wouldn't do that on his own.

At least that's what I think.

Well I am definitely an introvert then. Do you actually KNOW any people who would go down the street and start greeting random strangers though?

Have read some more infj stuff and am beginning to think this Ni thing is actually what I am doing all the time - making sense of everything by viewing from every perspective esp. the symbolic/philosophical ones. Hmmm.

Thanks heaps Hasenj, you've really helped me!

 

[hasenj]

Do you actually KNOW any people who would go down the street and start greeting random strangers though?

Yup! That's where I got the example from. Though in honesty he might be an extreme case, I don't know, but he literally would go down the street and sit at the local grocery store (err, don't think American style .. I'm talking middle east here) and talk for hours with people. Since he just got here a few weeks ago, they must be (mostly) strangers. I'm also assuming these other people must be extroverts too.

Thanks heaps Hasenj, you've really helped me!

You're welcome, glad I can help roud:

 

[saccharomyces]

However, take a person and drop him in a completely strange place, and you'll notice a difference between how introverts and extroverts behave: the extrovert will go down the street and start greeting random strangers to get to know everyone around the neighbourhood! The introvert will take things slow, get to know the people one person at a time, on an occasional basis.

So the extrovert just goes out of his way to greet random people and try to get to know them. An introvert wouldn't do that on his own.

i disagree with this here (would say that this is a horribly stereotypical vision of extroversion), because i think it depends which function is the extroverted one and also on the culture in which you have been brought up - whether it's positive politeness or negative politeness* based culture. the main difference between introversion and extroversion is not the outgoingness vs shyness, but the focus - whether your focus is more outward or inward. for example - extroverts that have grown up in a negative politeness culture would probably never do what you have described, unless the people on street would have given off strong hints that they want the conversation, that they want to be acquainted, because their focus is outward but based in the negative politeness assumption that the people don't want to be disturbed, thus, the extroverted tending to the others' needs in such a situation for such a person would be - look non-threatening and friendly, respond immediately if someone initiates contact, but don't do anything that might seem imposing, don't disturb people. also, extroverted feelers are more likely to be more affected by their politeness culture (and, of course, any extrovert would be more affected than any introvert) and have a socially external focus, thus being more careful with their "extrovertedness", looking for the behaviour that seems most acceptable (so, maybe not talking to people if they look like they don't want to talk) than Te users, who might sometimes also seem "inappropriately sociable" (take an entj, for example).



* - positive politeness basically means the assumption that others want to be included, thus inducing behaviour that is often described as extroverted here, whereas negative politeness means assuming that people might not want to be bothered. if you want a more detailed description - Negative Politeness (though they have missed a few things that should have been added on the topic of American/British distinction in the longer text, on which kate fox has elaborated in her book "watching the English", but i guess that's not the most important thing here)


sorry for the lengthy post, i just think that to determine your type the most useful thing would be studying the functions and determining which one's the dominant, to what you relate the most, and then move forward from there, because the extroversion as a concept in the mbti does not really mean the exact same as the everyday use word "extroversion".

 

[Shadow1980]

When you are angry..... is it usually because you feel angry.... or because someone else was hurt? Don't try to answer the way you should but the way you would. IN other words..... are you feelings focused more on other people... and their feelings... or is it more just your feelings?

Excellent question. All you need to do is ask the question the higher posted and you can tell if you're an INFP or an ENFJ.

I don't get nearly as mad if someone is mean to me, but if they are mean to someone else...rage is guaranteed and barely under control.

 

[Kate7]

Well that would be nice and simple wouldn't it. Trouble is, I don't get angry much and if I do, it is usually at myself, or just generally because I am feeling irritable and not at any one person in particular. If someone hurts someone else, I tend to see both sides and while I will step in and help the victim, I don't tend to just yell at the perpetrator, rather I would work for understanding and peace between them. My own feelings would be calm. The only time I am not calm is when I am overloaded, then I can blow a gasket!

I am neither focused on my own feelings nor others, though I take care to avoid hurting others, whereas I don't spend a great deal of time protecting myself and rarely think of my own wishes/desires/boundaries etc.

Is this clearing the question up? Maybe I am INFJ?