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Is it good dance moves? Is it attentiveness? Is it their ability to push the right buttons and turn you on when flirting? Is it their confidence? Is it how they kiss? Is it the size of their shoes? XD

What is your sexdar capacities folks
An EXGF said years ago... if a good kisser = good sex. I would not enter the gate of discussing the details but I feel over the years this is very, very true, it tells te conclusion of many senses. Among any woman I have kissed, I can say all the ones that felt (made me feel) good, were also very good in bed to my taste.

Other than that... there is some truth on "crazy women", damn I hate this, I had my share of crazy dates and crazy relationships, people I would never go back to, but some friend said "fuck crazy women but they are so fun!!!" and yes he is right.

In my opinion, personal experience... I have seen no useful evidence on dance moves, flirting, etc... in fact many flirters were... terrible when it was about getting some intimacy and sex.
 

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if a good kisser = good sex.

"fuck crazy women but they are so fun!!!"
This is interesting. I didn't know about the good kisser thing. As for "crazy" women, I'm not into women, but maybe that advice could also apply to wild men. . . .

I've never been able to tell about someone's sexual ability until I actually test drove them. A sexy athlete, who had women throwing themselves at him, was lousy in bed. Some ordinary nerdy guys were great in bed. Age, lifestyle, even health issues told me nothing about what it was going to be like.

And flirting means nothing. Some flirters aren't after sex at all; I have no idea why they do it.
 

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This is interesting. I didn't know about the good kisser thing. As for "crazy" women, I'm not into women, but maybe that advice could also apply to wild men. . . .

I've never been able to tell about someone's sexual ability until I actually test drove them. A sexy athlete, who had women throwing themselves at him, was lousy in bed. Some ordinary nerdy guys were great in bed. Age, lifestyle, even health issues told me nothing about what it was going to be like.

And flirting means nothing. Some flirters aren't after sex at all; I have no idea why they do it.

Yeah that’s always the risk of test-driving, you may discover that there’s no arousal, “lousy” as you call it. But no girl is lousy, just not your type, so it’s back to test-driving. :tongue:
 

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Their confidence and affection. If they’re confident, I’m immediately turned on. If they show affection paired with that confidence (touch of the arm or thigh, constant eye contact, etc...) tells me that this guy is incredibly passionate and I want to experience it first hand!
 

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When they start talking about kink AFTER you have gotten to know them. Huge red flag (although I'm not sure that's the proper term here...)

When people try to convince you how good they are at sex too early or talk about it all the time, that's clear over-compensation. When you've known them for a really long ass time and they never brought the subject up.......that's usually not good either.
 

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I'd say there are a few different factors for me which I'll run through..

So there's the thing about dancers, and I haven't slept with a dancer, but you can easily see how smoothly they co-ordinate their bodies with other people, it's pretty obvious they are going to be good at the movement part of sex.

There's mood/chemistry- so if you have chemistry with someone, and you are all into it, you're obviously going to be a lot better than if you're just not into it. You're never going to see a person with a stony bored expression be described as a "great" sexual experience lol. I think if you're really in love it's pretty difficult to have BAD sex unless you are just horribly unco-ordinated.

Then there's empathy which I think is underrated (at least I think it's one of my bigger strengths), everyone has their own preferred rhythms and patterns, and you can sort of pick up on things about someone's nature while having sex, and using that sort of empathy is something some people have and some people don't.

For me personally, I wouldn't necessarily say confidence makes that much difference, because I like to be assertive anyway. I've had someone try really hard to turn me on before and it was quite fun, but I wouldn't say I need that if I'm already attracted to them. Being able to respond and be on the same page is more important. You want your puzzle pieces to fit together.

Then there are things you're just never going to know until you see that person in that situation, and also people are all different obviously, we're going to prioritise certain different things. You can have someone who is polite and nice normally whisper kinky shit in your ear when she's all amped up and that sort of thing is always a fun surprise.

I'm actually getting a little turned on lol.
 

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The tip-off is when the someone obviously wants to have sex with me. If you're bad, I'll make it worthwhile.
 

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Is it weird that if I think they're good at sex, the more conscious part of me doesn't want to have sex with them?

Confidence, and I think - the other half: - desperation, plays a part in it. If they seem too desperate then it's kind of a tell that they won't really be interested in your needs; while also hints that they have not been fulfilling their own.

Hmm then again, maybe desperation = more desire to please...
 

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Having certain insights that aren't common knowledge.
Being attentive and responsive. Those who know when to push a little and when to pull a little. Reacting to my cues and signals.
Having empathy.
Having an individual rather than a generic approach.
Confident, but still quite humble.
Playful, not too serious.
Encouraging.
 

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Being extra extra large and talking about past and planned engagements. That is skillful because being overweight is typically considered unattractive in my culture.
 

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Definitely the way they kiss.
I realized this with experience, obvsly.
There's a lot that goes into a simple kissing scenario, a lot, you can even measure their levels of empathy with a kiss. At least that's my experience so far.

1 Is it good dance moves? 2 Is it attentiveness? 3 Is it their ability to push the right buttons and turn you on when flirting? 4 Is it their confidence? 5 Is it how they kiss? 6 Is it the size of their shoes? XD
1. No
2. No. Funny thing I've found is that half of the people who are very attentive and nice are the most insecure inside. I'm saying half, not all. So no indication, no.
3. Nope. A good speaker-charmer is just verbose and witty, that is all (again, experience).
4. Finally I can stop saying rotund nos and can now say "That helps" xD but it's not a sure-sure sign.
5. Ding ding ding! Premio para Wellsy!!
6. Suuuuuurrreeee X) Suuure x) /sarcasm
 
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I always thought it was just compatibility. As well as understanding each others boundaries, desires, and preferences.

I don't think I have a sexdar, and I don't think I usually think of people as good at sex.

I guess someone who is generally good at sex would be capable of making enjoyable sex with pretty much anyone--I mean, that's how you'd measure it by, right? So they would probably be able to quickly register people's boundaries, have flexible desires that meet the needs of the largest amount of people, and would also be able to understand their preferences quickly.

But even with that, I still think someone can be 'good at sex' and not an enjoyable sexual partner, or someone who doesn't fit that criteria could be a more enjoyable sexual partner than someone who does.

As far as my own experiences, I haven't identified any kind of indication of people who would be good at sex, and am not sure I would.
 

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What does "good at sex" actually mean? I think there are people who can be objectively good at it (technique)... but I'm just not attracted to them. OTOH if I'm attracted to someone and they have any indication of interest in sex, that's the "tip off" for me. Even though it doesn't give any indication of their "skills" per se. It's more of a subjective recognition of sexual chemistry (or tension).

(...oh, I just read Wickerdeer's response after typing mine, and we're basically saying the same thing, lol)
 
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