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Please help me wise enfps! I made a decision to stop being friends with an infj I see frequently and now I feel silly about it and wonder if it was an overreaction.

He was playing some sort of jealousy game with me using his SO after I told him I just wanted to be friends since there was some flirting going on and it felt like I was being used as an ego boost, and also it felt morally wrong. So I told him it was hurting my feelings to be friends with him since I had a crush on him and haven't spent time with him since. Following that he started showing up everywhere which was confusing since I am getting to know new people and trying to forget about him!

But now... I feel stupid about totally cutting off the friendship. It seems kind of melodramatic. Maybe I overreacted. I still have to see him often at work and he looked pouty over me talking to everyone but him.

I know what to tell other people about how to deal with men but when it comes to my feelings and making firm decisions it's so hard! Being forgiving and seeing a situation from all angles is a curse. Someone please talk some sense into me. :unsure: How do you stand firm by your decisions about people??
 

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I had a very similar situation with an INTJ. It took a few I guess "fights"/misunderstandings/differences of opinions on top of the fact they were in a long-term relationship and still flirted, etc. I don't really hold any ill will towards them, and I felt conflicted when our friendship ended at first, but looking back at the situation objectively, it was the right thing to happen. I don't think it's really melodramatic, it's unnecessary stress and being used to boost someone's ego is never pleasant, especially when your feelings are being discounted. I have waffled back and forth about my decisions regarding people, and it's trial and error, you learn from your mistakes. Some people I'm very glad I kept in my life, others I wish I hadn't been so forgiving with, but they were removed eventually and the pain the bad ones caused me has been outweighed by the good friendships that have taken forgiveness, understanding, and a little waiting for increased maturity (on my part and theirs) to remain. While ENFPs have the tendency to see things from the POV of others, we also need to remind ourselves that it's okay that we ask that the other person try to understand where we're coming from in return, and a person who refuses to do this probably isn't worth keeping around...
 
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