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Well, I read somewhere it was ISTP or possibly INTP (though ISTP was clearly the first choice). In my personal experience, I have to say I can see this working.

I have a good ISTP friend, and although we aren't romantically "involved" or however you want to put it (for reasons that have nothing to do with type), I could see it working. Our friendship is seamless. Natural. For lack of a better word, easy, even. It doesn't feel forced on either end. We get along splendidly. I mean, yes, we have our arguments, but neither of us is generally offended and we're both willing to resolve it. The opposite attitude on each of the functions doesn't feel completely opposite. Maybe because we do have the same basic functions in the same order (T, S, N, F). We just... get each other. I can't say that it works like this for all ESTJs/ISTPs, but I like it.

I also have a good INTP friend that I was interested in (and he was interested in me), but for various reasons (again, nothing to do with type) it didn't work out. In general though I could see the types working. We balanced each other nicely. He valued me for the things I am good at: practicality/down-to-earth-ness(?), being able to see the details and how they work together, improving the order/efficiency of surroundings, etc. And I valued him for what he is good at: his logic, his knowledge of how others "tick", his drive to figure things out, etc. Also I found it mildly ironic because of the common saying that girls end up with someone like their daddy, and my father happens to be an INTP. And I do have a really good father/daughter relationship with my father, actually.

Personally, right now I am interested in this INTJ I know. I don't think it will ever work out, though. I mean, I'm sure there are some INTJ/ESTJ couples somewhere, but I don't know how they do it. I wish I did. He just seems somewhat... withdrawn. While I try to open up and talk with him, he makes it slightly difficult. Not purposefully. But it is just the same. It's quite opposite of my friendship with the ISTP. I feel like this INTJ and I know each other fairly well (especially because we're both so into the MBTI and often discuss it even in terms of ourselves), but we don't just "click" the way the ISTP and I do. It requires a lot of effort (in my opinion anyway). And on top of that, I feel like he thinks my E is smothering and is bothered by my S because we don't think the same way at all. He will tell me something and as hard as I try to understand and have the kind of conversation with him about it that I think he wants to have, I just can't. It's not that I don't like it. I do. I love hearing him talk about things and watching his Ni at work (the few glimpses I get of it. it is an introverted function after all), but I can't think that way with him.

Anyway, just my two cents on a few types.
 

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Hello, I'm new here and just looking around So far I found out ESTJ male's are few here. I am in a very good wonderful relationship with a ENTJ Female, I majored in psychology, and she has her degree. We both find it strange that we fit so well together. Guessing it's like a ENTJ + ENTJ one has to be more passive and give control over, but not be forced to. Also her very low E and T probably have alot to do with it also. As everyone knows personality has a lot to do with it.
 

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According to Keirsey's theory, the most compatible match for an ESTJ is an ISFP. This view is different than other theories, but it has empirical evidence to support it. According to Keirsey's research, SJs and SPs have more successful marriages than any other pairing involving SJs. He found that when SJ's married any type other than SP, their marriage had a higher risk of failure. Likewise, NT's are better matched with NF's.

Keirsey found that the S/N dichotomy was the most important personality threshold; that it was the factor which divided the world into people to whom we can talk easily, and people with whom communication is more difficult.

Keirsey moreover he theorizes that, while the S (or the N) ought to be the same, pairs compliment each other best when every other variable is different. e.g. I, ENFP, am married to an INFJ, and we both find the relationship easy, happy, and mutually satisfying. Our differences tend to be highly valued in one another--he leans on my bubbly emotional intellect and I am grateful for his strategic stability. I think an ESTJ/ISFP pairing would be similar--the gruff uprightness of the ESTJ being appreciated and valued by the ISFP, who offers sweet playfulness in return. Together, the pairs make a full expression of the temperament spectrum within the S, or within the N, respectively.

Much evidence has been found that SJ/NT or SP/NF pairings are particularly difficult, fraught with misunderstanding and strained communication.

Here's some more about Keirsey's compatibility theory on SJs and SPs:

Keirsey's PersonalityZone - Personality and Your Relationships
 

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ISTJ here. I recently hooked up with an ESTJ and the chemistry was pretty good. However, she moved away for college, so we don't talk anymore.

Since then, however, I've been curious to observe my interaction with ESTJ. I thought this site might be a good place to start.

I'm not sure how IM works on here, so please, any ESTJ females out there willing to experiment with this, feel free to connect with me on here so we can get some results!

Thanks
 

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I'd date an ESTJ, if he could understand my aloofness and apathy towards structure and deliberate action...which is probably why I've never dated one. It's obvious I'm a strong P, Js usually give me weird looks and assume there's something wrong with me when I get deep into thought followed by being randomly distracted. I feel like they look at me and think, "Is she a joke?"
 

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I think I would have to agree with ISTP. I've not much experience in relationships in general, but I find I seem to automatically gravitate towards and quite easily get along with (suspected) ISTP's or even ESTP's sometimes, even one who I've only known for a few hours can be like someone I have known for many years. We just seem to click.

There spontaneous nature, tends to bring me out of my shell and gives me a break from ensuring everyone follows the rules. With them not being overly emotional, means I am less likely to upset them with harsh truths and my black and white view of the world. They don't demand physical displays of affection in the way most other types do (my greatest weakness) yet at the same time, they encourage me to be more affectionate. They seem to complement me in a way most other types don't.
 

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A pushover type like INFP or ISFP. If an ESTJ married another ESTJ or something like them (like ENTJ or ISTJ) all hell would break loose and they'd argue. It would make a good sitcom though.
dear, ISFPs need freedom. it is unchangable. We are unpredictable and I do not know whether ESTJs with their plannings can bear that ;P
 

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My ESTJ father has been married to my ESFJ mother for 19 years now.
Even though they've been through a lot of obstacles (also in their relationship), they've remained together nonetheless, mainly because of their deep love for one another.

So I would suggest: ESTJ + ESFJ.
Though it may not be the "ideal" pairing one would think of.
 

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I dated an ESTJ for awhile. Like many stories, it started out well. Good communication. But he kept fixing my mistakes and taking over. He'd roll his eyes at my typical screw ups and throw money at the problem without giving me a chance to handle my own problems. I'm an ESTP, of course I'm impulsive and make mistakes. It's par for the course. It became an infuriatingly parent/child relationship. When I responded rebelliously, he became more controlling. Then he was shocked when I left because after all, he'd been the one 'giving' and had 'put up' with me. I know he understood what I was saying. He just didn't trust me to take care of myself and didn't know when to back off.

I think an ESTJ and ESTP could work out if ESTP is willing to accept some order in their lives and ESTJ is willing to accept a little chaos. But probably not the ideal match.
 
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A pushover type like INFP or ISFP. If an ESTJ married another ESTJ or something like them (like ENTJ or ISTJ) all hell would break loose and they'd argue. It would make a good sitcom though.
IxFPs are autonomous agents. It's like trying to direct a cat. We'll ignore you and do our thing.
 
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