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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I can’t figure out my sister’s type. In the past, she’s gotten ISTJ, INTJ, INFJ, and once ESFJ (though I’m not sure that one counts, because she was five years old and my parents basically typed her as my opposite—they thought I was INTP— so we can disregard that one, I guess). Though all the types have fit her a little bit, none of them have had that “wham-POW!” instant connection that I’ve seen happen with other people who have been typed correctly. She’s an introvert for certain.

She is too emotionally sensitive to be an ISTJ. Other than that, she’s a lot like my dad—she’s got that “martyr” thing going on. Except he’s sort of like, “I work the hardest, therefore I am the best citizen here.” She’s more like, “I must fulfill everyone’s expectations of me.”

I think she’s difficult to type because of her social anxiety. She’s always been a very sensitive person, ever since she was little, and takes everything to heart. She doesn’t trust most people, and is very guarded in public—she puts up this incredibly polite, detached, agreeable, boring Minnesota-nice front for basically everyone who isn’t family. It’s one of the reasons she has a hard time making real friends. Like, it doesn’t seem like it would be a problem, but she’s really not sincerely a polite, agreeable person. The school friends she’s made with this technique are all sincerely boring, polite, and humorless, and she hates them all. When she’s around people she trusts, she’s witty, talkative, dry, occasionally bitchy, and extremely funny. Mostly, I think she just wants to please people. She’s just afraid of letting her real self be seen by the public.

She is a very slow decision-maker. She hates all decisions. She hates her high school, and I told her two years ago she should just go to a different one. When she brought the idea up to our parents, they made the mistake of saying, “it’s your decision. We don’t want to pressure you.” She has only ever felt very negatively about the school, and the only reason she thought about staying was because she has one friend there who she didn’t think would be okay without her. Four days ago my dad finally just said, “Alright. I’m deciding for her. She’s not going back to that place.” He was worried she’d resent him and think he was overbearing, but she was really just relieved. Ordering food at a restaurant is a nightmare every time.

She’s extremely creative. She’s played the piano since she was a toddler, and is a fantastic composer and singer. She’s like Tori Amos, if Tori Amos never showed anyone her music.

She loves to read, but doesn’t write or draw. I’m the writer, and have tried to get her to write in the past, but she’s never been interested enough in designing the elaborate worlds and characters I occupy myself with. She appreciates them, but doesn’t contribute. She’s also not very interested in philosophy or religion, which are both huge, exciting topics for me. I think we both believe in the same things—but for me, believing means testing and weighing ideas about the universe against eachother all the time, and for her, belief is more of a sort of “huh” thing, where it doesn’t occupy a huge part of her brain. She’s more of a doer.

She’s a runner, which I’ve never understood. She loves physical activity and finds some kind of joy in pushing herself to her limits and surpassing them. That’s cool, but I just don’t get it.

I think part of the problem is that everyone has always typed her as a J, because she’s just so earnest and puts so much weight on decisions. I’m starting to think she’s not a J. She likes having a set of rules to follow, but I think that’s mostly because she wants to please people. She gets nervous when she’s in a new situation, but so do I, really. So do most people.

We’re both bad at math and science. Both of us almost flunked out of at least one. Both of us got straight As in AP English. She got into AP History, but I got into AP Art. She’s in upper level German, and is good at speaking and understanding the language. I was pretty good at French, but I dropped out of the course because the teacher and I had a “conflict of personality”. I was second-chair cello in the Honors Orchestra for four years. She was second-chair trumpet in the Band, but she dropped out because… well, she and the other trumpets had a “conflict of personality.” Huh. We’re like mirrors.

Based on all this, what type do you guys think she is? I don’t think she’s a J.
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