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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have noticed a pattern in the types of people whom I attract. A very prominent one is people who are mentally unstable. I've had so many people open up to me about their anxiety, depression, home life, etc. etc., and then admit that they don't usually open up to people like that. I don't know what it is, I don't go out of my way to be especially kind or open, but people seem to feel as if they can confide in me, and feel as if I've genuinely made them feel better.

Do you see a pattern in the type of people you attract?
If so, what kind of people?
Do you know why?
 

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Oh that's interesting. Tell me about that, then.
Usually people who are very vocal about their feelings and set the standard for how people should feel. For example, I usually clash with ENFJs the most. Speaking strictly from experience, they would manipulate me into doing things that would be beneficial to their ideal view of how things should work, and guilt trip me should I choose not to participate.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Usually people who are very vocal about their feelings and set the standard for how people should feel. For example, I usually clash with ENFJs the most. Speaking strictly from experience, they would manipulate me into doing things that would be beneficial to their ideal view of how things should work, and guilt trip me should I choose not to participate.
Are you vocal about how you don't want to follow them/their ideals? I run into this problem often but don't have the guts to tell them I don't stand for the same things they do, so I usually just don't associate with them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Usually people who are very vocal about their feelings and set the standard for how people should feel. For example, I usually clash with ENFJs the most. Speaking strictly from experience, they would manipulate me into doing things that would be beneficial to their ideal view of how things should work, and guilt trip me should I choose not to participate.
Are you vocal about how you don't want to follow them/their ideals? I run into this problem often but don't have the guts to tell them I don't stand for the same things they do, so I usually just don't associate with them.
 

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Are you vocal about how you don't want to follow them/their ideals? I run into this problem often but don't have the guts to tell them I don't stand for the same things they do, so I usually just don't associate with them.
Let's just say that they often view me as the black sheep of the group. That one person who doesn't want to join in with the atmosphere. I don't usually harbor the energy to deal with them, so I usually just go about on my own ways. When they directly come to me for it, I often make my refusal clear.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Let's just say that they often view me as the black sheep of the group. That one person who doesn't want to join in with the atmosphere. I don't usually harbor the energy to deal with them, so I usually just go about on my own ways. When they directly come to me for it, I often make my refusal clear.
That seems to be the most reasonable course of action....
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Let's just say that they often view me as the black sheep of the group. That one person who doesn't want to join in with the atmosphere. I don't usually harbor the energy to deal with them, so I usually just go about on my own ways. When they directly come to me for it, I often make my refusal clear.
That seems to be the most reasonable course of action....
 

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Interestingly, I have noticed a pattern of the type of people that I attract to me. They're usually the type that think that they're the only person that I'm allowed to have in their life, and try their best to push my other friends out of the way. These people are also the "savior" type, who think that I can't stand up for myself, who always think I need defending, and never let me get a word in edgewise. They think they know me better than I know myself and they get extremely hurt and pissy if I start to show signs of a person that they don't believe I am. And they usually put me up on this huge pedestal, and if I even slip a little bit, they're right there telling me how upset they are at me, how I'm not the person they thought I was, etc.
 
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People who have similar problems have always been attracted to me even though I don't ask for it. Very, very different minds, but at the same time, I think they all relate to me. I have gone through my share of problems within the family, self-harm, being treated like a doormat (my only difference is that I'm okay with that), self-loathing, and academic pressure. We all share those.

I also attract people who are also into drawing and music. But I noticed that they don't have the same "fire" or whatevs I have when it comes to those things.

I haven't encountered anyone else with similar passions in real life. Haha.
 
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Cheerful people tend to avoid me, too. If I'm not interested in joining the party, they'll take it as me being just extremely negative and unpleasant. Like if they were to approach and ask why I wasn't joining the fun, I would likely remark with something smart assy like

"I don't need to run around and talk loudly with strangers about bullshit in order to have fun. In fact, it's detrimental to my having a good time when people get too near my face and make a lot of noise with their mouth. It all but ruins my good time. I'm doing okay right here." :wink: Or I could go on about how people go to parties because they just need to be emotionally validated and how it would be way more efficient if we could just get everyone to line up and ill go down the queue and tell them each individually that they deserve to be loved and respected. And maybe we'll have someone go down the line and fondle their genitals since a lot of people fuck at parties. Save a lot of time and money and alcohol poisoning, wanna do that instead? C'mon let's start rounding them up... You be the fondler.

Then they just look at me and blink. Lot of shitty looks when I cop that kind of attitude but I think it's funny


I attract "free spirits". People who are independent and individual in their style of dress, thought and behavior. I also attract a lot of older men who want to relive their youth and try and fuck with me, but that's to be expected with any halfway decent looking 22 year old. All kinds of stragglers and roamers and random people on the outskirts... I'm drawn to them too so it works out.
 

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Really persistent people, I guess? Thinking back to my friendships, most of them were people who just decided that they were going to be my friend and weren't going to take no for an answer. For most, this meant talking to me despite my disinterest until I eventually just got used to them, but one of them flat out told me they were going to hang out with me from then on, and there wasn't much I could do to argue that.

I generally don't attract too many people though.
 

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I normally attract either creeps or guys I just really don't like. /shrug
I don't have tangible crushes so.. been single since birth.
 

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Really persistent people, I guess? Thinking back to my friendships, most of them were people who just decided that they were going to be my friend and weren't going to take no for an answer. For most, this meant talking to me despite my disinterest until I eventually just got used to them, but one of them flat out told me they were going to hang out with me from then on, and there wasn't much I could do to argue that.

I generally don't attract too many people though.
You must be cute
 

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I have noticed a pattern in the types of people whom I attract. A very prominent one is people who are mentally unstable. I've had so many people open up to me about their anxiety, depression, home life, etc. etc., and then admit that they don't usually open up to people like that. I don't know what it is, I don't go out of my way to be especially kind or open, but people seem to feel as if they can confide in me, and feel as if I've genuinely made them feel better.

Do you see a pattern in the type of people you attract?
If so, what kind of people?
Do you know why?
But how often does it happen that you dont meet someone like that?, also what is your involvement. I doudt people just approach you and then open up?, without you also somehow wanting to speak with the person.

Asking because this reminds me of something ive read. How for example people say they always get bird poo on them, but fail to see all the times they dont.

--

Id sometimes say, that yes, I do notice that i maybe attract some people more than others, but only recently.
There are also those that I am attracted to.
Maybe it should be called a filter.

All thru my life i have somehow been together with alot of peers who have divorsed parents.
Also alot of the girls that I have meet thru my life. Something like 40/50.
And i have never in any way thought any thought to myself that id particularly want to be with someone who has divorced parents.

Actually i am even annoyed about the fact that ive thought so little about it. I never ever really have asked them any questions about it, or anything.

Funnily enough, i often feel this kinda switch is happening whenever I may express concern for someone, then it ends up being about me.
And I will also admit, I am one of those who readily opens up, however not so much for my feelings. Only once have i really shed tears in the precense of someone.
Sometimes i think the switch happens when i try to be sympathetic, I very often try to tell stories about how I can relate, and so on.
And maybe i am also seeking safety, understanding, and such.

..
Also, if they are not just divorced, then they have a bad relationship with one of them.
However if they express any kind of hate, Then i am pulling away, because that scares me.
One of my best mates used to have a really bad temper.

... Why is this?. Well.. im not exactly sure what my conclusion was .. it is something i still investigate now and then.
But my father or mom have also been more or less present.
However their relationship has lasted 50 years soon, and still going.

Maybe it is some of their hate and anger i reconigize. But which i hide more.


I am also slightly prone to attracting people who are a little crazy, abusive, exploitive, demanding, needy, funky, hippie..
Tho, to counter those, then i certainly also have meet people who are deeply empathetic, understanding(or atleast trying to), nice, etc.

I myself, am perhaps a little crazy, tho not crazy crazy. I am attracted to some of those who are a little off, who are different or special in some way, nerdy, whatever, tho not TOO different.

I am not so demanding, so people who are demanding may make me go a little "Wow", admireable in some way.
As if they maybe could teach me something.
But those who are demanding tire me very quickly. The selfish they, well, are selfish.
And so on.


When i think back, there were plenty of people i could had hung out more with, who were from a more ordinary background. But i did not?.
In some ways I regred that, because I have not always been in the best kind of company. (tho this is not related to being divorsed).
...
But then, everybody has something in their family that is not picture perfect.



Edit: I once had this experience at an party. Me and a couple of strangers were the only ones left.
I fall into conversation with a man and his girlfriend.
He starts to express strong hate towards his parents.. "They want to give me their money, but i say F... them, they can shoved it up their ass. I am not taking their money.". Etc.
And i suddenly get very scared. His girlfriend also tries to calm him down.
But i still sit there and talk with him. However the conversation turns to me, about how I should leave home. Get going. Etc.
(I think i had been telling about some of my experiences)

I got scared of all his anger, and afraid id be like him.
He had been to jail, etc. Prone to aggression. Him and the girl also broke up later i hear.
 

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Usually the quiet, stoic types. I've gotten the most attention from IxTJ's, apparently.
 
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