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891 Posts
Hello,
I am child abuse survivor. I am a 6w5, and suspect my sister may be a 6w7 (we don't talk anymore, but she is a *huge* conformist). My parents, though, are harder to type. My dad abused me, and my mother enabled him (by not saving me and my sister as children, defending him- to the end- she would say shit like "At least he's not a cheater" or "At least he's not a child molester".) And yes, she really did say those two statements. Here is a description of the two:
Abusive Father: He is a very black and white man. Deeply religious, and prejudiced against those who don't subscribe to his faith (he probably knows by know that I lost my faith- I'm probably on his death wish list for it, too). Everything is either right or wrong with him. He is suspicious to the point of being paranoid. Has the world's worst temper: will yell, swear, threaten (and at times commit) violence, threaten murder (thank god this has not happened). He is psycho, and belongs in the mental ward. He says he doesn't need friends, doesn't want strangers in his home, did not allow me to have any kind of social life growing up, etc. He showed affection only if I made him proud (like by getting good grades, etc). If I didn't comply with him, or challenged him (I do that when threatened), he would either yell at me, hit me, or both. I've always thought he was an unhealthy type 1, but I didn't think that type had such an explosive temper, usually.
Enabling Mother: Complies with *everything* her hubby says, for fear of being abused. Has a stable job that she's been in for decades, but won't leave because her faith disallows remarriage after divorce. She is also black and white about her faith, but shows her prejudice in a more quiet way than my dad does towards religion. Got a lot of useless advice from her like, "Pray for your father" and "Be cheerful and people will like you". She admitted that she's been praying for him to change for years (it's not happening, woman). She seems to be in self-deluded state, having convinced herself that things are not as bad as they really are. She has resigned herself to her life. Another reason she won't get divorced is because, in her words, "I deserve a house" (she fears losing it- come on, it's in *your* name, and in N. America, the judge usually gives the woman the house, among other things). So, she doesn't want her standard of living to go down. I can't even guess what type she is- possibly an unhealthy two, as one of her strategies is to try and be generous with her time (like listening to people talk, etc). But she's pretty terrible at helping, so probably not a two. Also, she has bad OCD- that she refuses to get help for. She has been that way for over 50 years, too (since her teens). She once said, "I'd be bored without my OCD". Her rituals are messed up, trust me.
Anyone want to take a (figurative) stab at these two?
I am child abuse survivor. I am a 6w5, and suspect my sister may be a 6w7 (we don't talk anymore, but she is a *huge* conformist). My parents, though, are harder to type. My dad abused me, and my mother enabled him (by not saving me and my sister as children, defending him- to the end- she would say shit like "At least he's not a cheater" or "At least he's not a child molester".) And yes, she really did say those two statements. Here is a description of the two:
Abusive Father: He is a very black and white man. Deeply religious, and prejudiced against those who don't subscribe to his faith (he probably knows by know that I lost my faith- I'm probably on his death wish list for it, too). Everything is either right or wrong with him. He is suspicious to the point of being paranoid. Has the world's worst temper: will yell, swear, threaten (and at times commit) violence, threaten murder (thank god this has not happened). He is psycho, and belongs in the mental ward. He says he doesn't need friends, doesn't want strangers in his home, did not allow me to have any kind of social life growing up, etc. He showed affection only if I made him proud (like by getting good grades, etc). If I didn't comply with him, or challenged him (I do that when threatened), he would either yell at me, hit me, or both. I've always thought he was an unhealthy type 1, but I didn't think that type had such an explosive temper, usually.
Enabling Mother: Complies with *everything* her hubby says, for fear of being abused. Has a stable job that she's been in for decades, but won't leave because her faith disallows remarriage after divorce. She is also black and white about her faith, but shows her prejudice in a more quiet way than my dad does towards religion. Got a lot of useless advice from her like, "Pray for your father" and "Be cheerful and people will like you". She admitted that she's been praying for him to change for years (it's not happening, woman). She seems to be in self-deluded state, having convinced herself that things are not as bad as they really are. She has resigned herself to her life. Another reason she won't get divorced is because, in her words, "I deserve a house" (she fears losing it- come on, it's in *your* name, and in N. America, the judge usually gives the woman the house, among other things). So, she doesn't want her standard of living to go down. I can't even guess what type she is- possibly an unhealthy two, as one of her strategies is to try and be generous with her time (like listening to people talk, etc). But she's pretty terrible at helping, so probably not a two. Also, she has bad OCD- that she refuses to get help for. She has been that way for over 50 years, too (since her teens). She once said, "I'd be bored without my OCD". Her rituals are messed up, trust me.
Anyone want to take a (figurative) stab at these two?
......I have a hard time tying these behaviours to a specific type, but they all sound like they're in unhealthy levels (lvl 7 & below)
