Personality Cafe banner

21 - 40 of 184 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,365 Posts
The reason why ENFP's get so heated and start to dash and insults istp's is since they did not manage to "break the walls" and make them love them. I am not saying that all ENFP's are like that but that is what most likely happened with the hater ENFP's. Mucha herself was involved with an istp long time ago and he hurt her bad and she hates every istp since then. The same can be said about quite a few other ENFP's lurking on these boards. Lifes tough. Deal with it.

That was just a clarification for anyone wondering why some of them hate us so bad. If it hurt your feelings then that was not the purpose and i apologize. Please do not transform this thread into a troll fight.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,365 Posts
I personally get along great with ENFP's! We have loads of laughs and can connect easily. The healthy ones i mean. Same deal with enfj's. We can talk forever with little ease. Both guys and girls of the same type, they are so energizing to be around and their boundless enthusiasm and willpower to make anything work is contagious. Even tho they sometimes tailspin off to Lalaland it is still a very interesting journey at time.

But the other 3 types which i get along best are : istp, istj and estj. The types of the closest and best friends ever.

But... frankly. It doesn't matter SQUAT what type that person is. The only thing that matters in my view is how they convey themselves and what kind of heart they have. If their a scheming bitch or a stone-cold steroid buffed liar then whatever type, they will not get even one second of my time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,628 Posts
my boss right now is a healthy well balanced ENFP. Definitely the most enjoyable person I've worked for in a long time. he greatly appreciates me and i appreciate him. he keeps me motivated without irritating me or telling me what to do, and he appreciates my focus, rationality, and practical approach.
 
  • Like
Reactions: emerald sea

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,902 Posts
I'm curious about the ISTP-INTJ relationship. My parents are an INTJ-ISTP match, one of my close INTJ friends was attracted to a girl who I think is an ISTP, and, for myself, I have an ISTP friend who I really enjoy spending time with. So, that's 3 for 3 of all the INTJ's that I know.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,628 Posts
I'm curious about the ISTP-INTJ relationship. My parents are an INTJ-ISTP match, one of my close INTJ friends was attracted to a girl who I think is an ISTP, and, for myself, I have an ISTP friend who I really enjoy spending time with. So, that's 3 for 3 of all the INTJ's that I know.
My previous boss was an INTJ. we got along swimmingly. things were very business-like and serious, but i would often crack jokes and he would pause for a minute...then suddenly realize i was joking, and then laugh and relax for a moment....then right back to business, lol. I still have a lot of respect for the guy, and he does for me.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,233 Posts
I enjoy the well-earned cockiness of ENTPs.

The reason why ENFP's get so heated and start to dash and insults istp's is since they did not manage to "break the walls" and make them love them. I am not saying that all ENFP's are like that but that is what most likely happened with the hater ENFP's. Mucha herself was involved with an istp long time ago and he hurt her bad and she hates every istp since then. The same can be said about quite a few other ENFP's lurking on these boards. Lifes tough. Deal with it.

That was just a clarification for anyone wondering why some of them hate us so bad. If it hurt your feelings then that was not the purpose and i apologize. Please do not transform this thread into a troll fight.
*ahem*

Chest bump.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
923 Posts
@falling_leaves I've only known one confirmed istp, and i sure liked him and still like him a whole lot as a person, even though on a romantic level we bombed. He, and i'm finding some of you on the boards, are a total enigma, in a way that's novel. However, had he not taken an interest in me and started talking, i never would have gotten to know him. In fact, i pretty much wrote him off as a dumb jock, who wasn't very interesting -- based on his demeanor. (consequently, i learned a lot from knowing him about the idiocy of equating those things). I work now with a few people in general proximity who I suspect are istps, but I pretty much let them be and don't try to get to know them. We don't have to work closely together, and frankly - it was *work* to get to know the one istp i did, so i feel like, 'why bother, they're probably just as happy not to have an extrovert yapping at them.'

edit: way to avoid thread meltdown there, @Duck_of_Death
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,800 Posts
The reason why ENFP's get so heated and start to dash and insults istp's is since they did not manage to "break the walls" and make them love them. I am not saying that all ENFP's are like that but that is what most likely happened with the hater ENFP's. Mucha herself was involved with an istp long time ago and he hurt her bad and she hates every istp since then. The same can be said about quite a few other ENFP's lurking on these boards. Lifes tough. Deal with it.

That was just a clarification for anyone wondering why some of them hate us so bad. If it hurt your feelings then that was not the purpose and i apologize. Please do not transform this thread into a troll fight.
Nope, i've never dated an ISTP, never. I've been with the same man for over 10 years, married him, besides him i didn't play the field when it came to dating. I've never dated anyone i didn't find interesting. I don't hate ISTP, i just find them very dull and uninteresting. It is what it is. Nothing will ever change that. That's not to say that everyone finds this type dull, but for this ENFP, yes very very dull indeed. So no troll fight. We can't help who we're attracted too or who we find interesting. Same goes for you, you may find ENFP dull and uninteresting, that's cool by me, i don't expect every type to be into me, nor do i care.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,283 Posts
Nope, i've never dated an ISTP, never. I've been with the same man for over 10 years, married him, besides him i didn't play the field when it came to dating. I've never dated anyone i didn't find interesting. I don't hate ISTP, i just find them very dull and uninteresting. It is what it is. Nothing will ever change that. That's not to say that everyone finds this type dull, but for this ENFP, yes very very dull indeed. So no troll fight. We can't help who we're attracted too or who we find interesting. Same goes for you, you may find ENFP dull and uninteresting, that's cool by me, i don't expect every type to be into me, nor do i care.
Then why the fuck are you on this forum so much.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,110 Posts
I love when people say what's on their mind regardless of type. So I obviously get on well with ISTPs. I think INTJs may have a slight advantage over some other types because if someone says something that can be interpreted as hurtful, we have the ability to step back emotionally and analyze the situation before reacting. We ask for clarification before really letting any emotion into the picture. A simple, unemotional "What do you mean by that?" can save a lot of hurt feelings.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
255 Posts
I think, I get along well with my ISTP dad, female friend and boyfried. #1 and #3 are confirmed by test, the girl is rather a guess. At work, I also have the best relationship with an ISTP guy, although sometimes it turns into love-hate. Professional, rational, no drama love-hate, this is scary :tongue:


What I love about ISTPs:

- Talking to you about day-to-day problems is like a scene from Donny Darko, when Darko was advising. Patrick Swayze provided a long speech that to overcome obesity and school bullying one should start from fighting own fears and work on state of mind. Then Darko said: to overcome obesity - eat less, exercise more; to overcome school bullying - go to gym, develop muscules and fight back,

- You understand my sarcasm and I got yours (most of the time),

- You play chess,

- You're so like me, we can both sign under "The Logical Song" lyrics and have a least some kind of unity against the emotional world.


What I don't like about ISTPs:

- You can plan only a month ahead and, if we work in one team, you ask me what do to. What? I can be a good commander for everyone else but I think, you're as smart as I am and I do trust do, so it really hurts and disappoints me, when you place yourself lower in rank. I want to lead together with you, not that it seems we lead together but secretly I'm in charge,

- At work, you can be sarcastic about my values, like total equality and constant improvements. You suggest me to grow up, provoking me to advise you to get smart. At home, you accuse me of being a day-dreamer. Then it's no longer a joke but an attack and I can fight back,

- At work, I'm scared, when you raise voice. It lasts for few seconds but enough to interpret this as a sign of weakness... which makes me disappointed. Or, probably, I tend to idealize certain people too much. In private life, I'm scared, when you get angry, tell "I'm gonna drive" and I know that the chances of accident quadruple,


What I love again is how we fix the above conflicts - you don't expect appologies (what a relief), you describe your point of view and listen to mine. Then it solves not only current conflict but prevents potential conflicts at work and quarrels at home in the future.


And, retorical question with no answer expected... are you really so fantastic in bedroom or it's too early to conclude basing on one person? :blushed:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,199 Posts
If you aren't an ISTP, what do you honestly think of us as people? Was this the perception you had of them when you first met?
Of the ISTPs I've met (and known), ISTPs are pretty direct, honest, no-bullshit people, though they tend to be a little socially awkward (which is not always true). Which is actually really nice because you know where you stand with them (especially if you ask), I hate having to guess with other types who tend to leave it pretty ambiguous.

But it's not the perception I always have when I first meet ISTPs. For some reason, ISTPs always seem to radiate a sense of mystery to me - at least the girls, which I will blame on inferior Fe. I like trying to pull the F out in people, but most of the time it's just too damn tough that I kinda just ditch the whole effort (bad, I know). With time, the ISTP will randomly unleash Fe and I'm like, what is this I don't even...but it's something I really appreciate and find interesting. However that can turn out to be a problem for me because I get a little insecure if I feel the ISTP doesn't care, which I have still yet to learn how they show or appreciate that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,750 Posts
Discussion Starter #35
Of the ISTPs I've met (and known), ISTPs are pretty direct, honest, no-bullshit people, though they tend to be a little socially awkward (which is not always true). Which is actually really nice because you know where you stand with them (especially if you ask), I hate having to guess with other types who tend to leave it pretty ambiguous.

But it's not the perception I always have when I first meet ISTPs. For some reason, ISTPs always seem to radiate a sense of mystery to me - at least the girls, which I will blame on inferior Fe. I like trying to pull the F out in people, but most of the time it's just too damn tough that I kinda just ditch the whole effort (bad, I know). With time, the ISTP will randomly unleash Fe and I'm like, what is this I don't even...but it's something I really appreciate and find interesting. However that can turn out to be a problem for me because I get a little insecure if I feel the ISTP doesn't care, which I have still yet to learn how they show or appreciate that.
Yeah, I might be an antisocial mite, but at least I'm very straight shooting with people. I pride myself on the fact that I only ever put any weight into meaningful friendships - sadly, I think strong Es who do the opposite take my lack of interest as me being an unfriendly hoebag.

I say either come back when you can handle me and my odd ways, or cut out the middleman and get a dog ^^

Uh yeah... *coughs*. I am very guilty of doing the neglecting of the inferior function. I actually suck at being a girl.

I'm very hard to get to know, and all of the usual charm tactics have no effect. I only let those who I know deserve it in, not those who think they can trick me into thinking that they deserve it. I think people who expect a lot from me soon after meeting me are dissapointed when I do that whole 'mysterious and aloof' thing (ENFXs are especially guilty of this in my experience).

I feel insecure when people send off signals that they really like me, but don't act accordingly. Just picture typical ENFJ behaviour in your head. And because I suck at verbalising my feelings I tend to show how I feel for someone through actions and have a tendancy to be sparse with my words. On the plus side, you know when an ISTP says 'I love you' it's because they really mean it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,199 Posts
Yeah, I might be an antisocial mite, but at least I'm very straight shooting with people. I pride myself on the fact that I only ever put any weight into meaningful friendships - sadly, I think strong Es who do the opposite take my lack of interest as me being an unfriendly hoebag.

I say either come back when you can handle me and my odd ways, or cut out the middleman and get a dog ^^

Uh yeah... *coughs*. I am very guilty of doing the neglecting of the inferior function. I actually suck at being a girl.

I'm very hard to get to know, and all of the usual charm tactics have no effect. I only let those who I know deserve it in, not those who think they can trick me into thinking that they deserve it. I think people who expect a lot from me soon after meeting me are dissapointed when I do that whole 'mysterious and aloof' thing (ENFXs are especially guilty of this in my experience).

I feel insecure when people send off signals that they really like me, but don't act accordingly. Just picture typical ENFJ behaviour in your head. And because I suck at verbalising my feelings I tend to show how I feel for someone through actions and have a tendancy to be sparse with my words. On the plus side, you know when an ISTP says 'I love you' it's because they really mean it.
A lot of it is because it just seems very unapproachable. ISTPs are chill when you casually talk to them, but it's like there's a lack of responsiveness. It's almost as if you come off as completely uninterested - which you might be, but at least for those with Fe, not really a road we'd like to travel down. It's like, you can go down ENFP flower-lane or through ISTP wasteland-of-dead-trees. :laughing:

The ISTPs I know seem to be reasonably gender-role "aware." The guys don't have a real problem because guys aren't really expected to have higher F. The girls make it through on Se but when it hits Fe it's like they kinda hole up in the background.

INFx here and also guilty. :blushed: Of course it's expectations, but like I said, it's just that sort of sense that there's a lack of responsiveness. It's something we try to crack but it's literally impossible to crack an IxTP's feelings, and I think F-types generally like having a similar response. Since the F-input from the IxTP is low, unless they seriously care about you, the interested F-type is just going to leave because, to us, it's like trying to start a fire with only paper. We can put in a ton of paper in but the paper burns up really fast. So what's the point of wasting more paper if there's going to be no fire? Someone's gotta help us put the firewood on.

Well, this is coming from my experience, but I think N-types naturally drop hints to cue that and hope you pick up/act on it. I think this is because the S-grounding function is a weak spot. Se is my weakest function and so for me, I totally fail at interpreting the situation when it relates to me, and I get insecure because the N-function makes me go berserk and can't decide on one perspective. "Is the other person feeling this way? How do I know that for sure? They could be feeling x, or y, or z..." Like that.

And I have never heard an ISTP say "I love you." I have heard from an ISTP, "she's got a nice rack," but I have not heard, "I love you." Ah well...:rolleyes:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,902 Posts
If you aren't an ISTP, what do you honestly think of us as people? Was this the perception you had of them when you first met?
Looks like I forgot to answer this question the first time I posted here.

ISTPs are probably the funniest people I know. I love joking around with them. I know 6 ISTPs (3 confirmed by tests, and 3 I'm 99% confident on) and they are all pretty awesome people. Sometimes they appear quite spaced-out, but that's fine with me. They are pretty self-confident and smart, which I like. Also, they are really comfortable in the real world, doing things with their hands, making stuff, fixing stuff, ect. I wish I was better at that.

Sometimes ISTPs find my Ni a bit childish, and might say something like "stop being so silly" or "grow up" but, then again, she is my Mom so she's allowed to say things like that.

This is probably very similar to my first impressions of them, but I can't really say, because I've had ISTPs in my life from the time I was born.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,750 Posts
Discussion Starter #38
A lot of it is because it just seems very unapproachable. ISTPs are chill when you casually talk to them, but it's like there's a lack of responsiveness. It's almost as if you come off as completely uninterested - which you might be, but at least for those with Fe, not really a road we'd like to travel down. It's like, you can go down ENFP flower-lane or through ISTP wasteland-of-dead-trees. :laughing:

The ISTPs I know seem to be reasonably gender-role "aware." The guys don't have a real problem because guys aren't really expected to have higher F. The girls make it through on Se but when it hits Fe it's like they kinda hole up in the background.

INFx here and also guilty. :blushed: Of course it's expectations, but like I said, it's just that sort of sense that there's a lack of responsiveness. It's something we try to crack but it's literally impossible to crack an IxTP's feelings, and I think F-types generally like having a similar response. Since the F-input from the IxTP is low, unless they seriously care about you, the interested F-type is just going to leave because, to us, it's like trying to start a fire with only paper. We can put in a ton of paper in but the paper burns up really fast. So what's the point of wasting more paper if there's going to be no fire? Someone's gotta help us put the firewood on.

Well, this is coming from my experience, but I think N-types naturally drop hints to cue that and hope you pick up/act on it. I think this is because the S-grounding function is a weak spot. Se is my weakest function and so for me, I totally fail at interpreting the situation when it relates to me, and I get insecure because the N-function makes me go berserk and can't decide on one perspective. "Is the other person feeling this way? How do I know that for sure? They could be feeling x, or y, or z..." Like that.

And I have never heard an ISTP say "I love you." I have heard from an ISTP, "she's got a nice rack," but I have not heard, "I love you." Ah well...:rolleyes:
Sorry, did not see the quote thingy on my notifications ^^

There is a notiable difference in my demenour depending on which function I'm choosing to use when talking to you. When engaging Fe I smile, I make eye contact and tend to radiate a warm, happy aura - and I hate doing this because it's so fake and put on. Blehh. Ti is the complete opposite, like you said, a lack of responsiveness. It might seem that way, but in reality we're listening very carefully to what you're saying and processing it. That leaves no room for social niceties (<-- we don't care much for those anyway).

Ugh, I can't do girly stuff at all. I can dress up and look the part, but in terms of feeling it...

Nuh uh. Seriously, the cold weather is beginning to set in here and I still cba to go out shopping for a coat. So boring, would rather play xbox... :3

That was a nice analogy :) For an ISTP, our feelings are our greatest weakness; we hate to share them because all we can see is how much it would burn if the proper response isn't given. We're scared that we'll get out all of our finest wood only to find that it isn't good enough or that you never had any intention of setting alight to that paper in the first place. The only reason we're so guarded is because we're very easily hurt when it comes to our inner core and will only share it with those who we know aren't going to shatter it into a million pieces by dropping it on the floor.

I feel the same about N types. It's like they're sending out all of these signals which I can't pick up on, like there is a 'proper response' I have to give and yet I can't find it out for the life of me. I tend to become very reserved in what I say to you and feel like a social failure for it (at worst you're only getting one worded answers out of me - of course this makes the whole 'mysterious/hard to know' ISTP stereotype worse :/).

If you want an ISTP to say that, you have to prove to their Ti that you're a worthwhile emotional investment. It sounds cold, but it's how we roll ^^
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,264 Posts
There is a notiable difference in my demenour depending on which function I'm choosing to use when talking to you. When engaging Fe I smile, I make eye contact and tend to radiate a warm, happy aura - and I hate doing this because it's so fake and put on. Blehh. Ti is the complete opposite, like you said, a lack of responsiveness. It might seem that way, but in reality we're listening very carefully to what you're saying and processing it. That leaves no room for social niceties (<-- we don't care much for those anyway).
I always look people in the eyes. With my new people, I stare them in the eyes and don't talk too much. If someone introduces me to someone, I nod and don't feel the need to state my name (it was already said) or say hello. I picked up yesterday that this person I just met was avoiding looking at my eyes. I think I was making her uncomfortable because she kept her head angled at my sister and didn't move at all.



Lost in Oblivion said:
And I have never heard an ISTP say "I love you."
The best time I ever heard it:
Person: I love you :)
me: Oh
Thank you
I'm not sure what to say.
Person: No problem, you don't have to say anything.


They went first. I caved in and said I love you back a couple days later.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,750 Posts
Discussion Starter #40
I always look people in the eyes. With my new people, I stare them in the eyes and don't talk too much. If someone introduces me to someone, I nod and don't feel the need to state my name (it was already said) or say hello. I picked up yesterday that this person I just met was avoiding looking at my eyes. I think I was making her uncomfortable because she kept her head angled at my sister and didn't move at all.
I'm the opposite; I can actually be quite chatty when meeting new people, but I suck really badly at making eye contact. I've gotten better recently because I've been reminding myself to do it, but left to my own devices... :3

Some people hate making eye contact, especially if it's with a 'master'. In my experience, it's both kind of scary and kind of intoxicating... :S

The best time I ever heard it:
Person: I love you :)
me: Oh
Thank you
I'm not sure what to say.
Person: No problem, you don't have to say anything.


They went first. I caved in and said I love you back a couple days later.
Greatest relationship fear. Them saying those 3 words before I can.

I couldn't have said it back though, nor could I put up with someone who pressures me into saying it before I'm ready. It cheapens it, I should be saying it because I mean it, not out of guilt.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lost in Oblivion
21 - 40 of 184 Posts
Top