Personality Cafe banner

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
123 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I shoukd hope as not to get a really generalized and commonly repeated answer. I have just had this occuring experience a fair amount, I find myself in general pretty much on the fringes due to my beliefs, outlooks and sime life choices I have made. The biggest issue more so for me is that it quite often difficult to connect due to my beliefs and way of looking at things, which yo be honest are quite common for prototypical Fi-doms, though for many others it is not always the case, or to be the expected norm.

Mostly I have just always liked playing music, art, and kind of philoshopical in my outlook with spiritual views, kinda an intellectual and have my own way of looking at things...

I just find most commonly, not very much tolerance for my views and nany instead seeing me like I am simply at fault, weird and I think too much is one of the common complaints. Mostly I just find a lot of people see me as a weirdo. I am getting quite better and confident in my musicsl ability; mostly because it sort of just worked out this way for me and I followed my bliss. I am hoping perhaps I might be understood and respected morenin this sense as it comes more to fruition as it seems more like a valid pursuit, but...



I guess it is not that big of a deal, I just find myself disapointed with many experiences in the past and, for example recently. She's a bit younger then me and while we got along well at first, I think she looks down on my Fi now and she thinks I am weird and wants me to jusg be "normal"


I find lots of peopje saykng "don't care what others think" "just be yourself who cares what others think" bug then in turn find them hypocritically in turn quite narrow minded, like many I encounter.

The only solace I find really is music I guess.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
123 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
To be honest, this will probably offend a slew of people, but I find myself getting along with gen z in comparison to gen Y and I have almost given up on getting along with them sltogether and I find gen Z (men and women) way more open minded and sre able to talk with a variety of topics and are open to new ways of looking at things....

Perhaps this is the problem.I find gen y exemplifying everythjng associated with the conservatives of old. Really freaking old fashioned repressive up tight, like geesh, I cannot stand them. They are like the oppresors now, wtf happened to them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
109 Posts
Generally, dominant and creative Te women (though INTJs aren't a good option unless you have some bite to you), dominant and creative Si women, as well as ENFPs and INFPs. ISFPs appear here and there as well.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
123 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Generally, dominant and creative Te women (though INTJs aren't a good option unless you have some bite to you), dominant and creative Si women, as well as ENFPs and INFPs. ISFPs appear here and there as well.
But not in a sense where they literally want to dominate you literally? I find Te women do like me surprisingly, I find it an odd combination. I would like to think I am not the submissive one altogether, but more I am just laid back or have moments of sensitivity but not always...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
109 Posts
But not in a sense where they literally want to dominate you literally? I find Te women do like me surprisingly, I find it an odd combination. I would like to think I am not the submissive one altogether, but more I am just laid back or have moments of sensitivity but not always...
Considering the position of their Te, they are much more assertive, but that's unrelated to the phrasing. Dominant Te in the sense that it's their base function, like Fi is yours (you have your type listed as ISTJ btw).
They lack Fi, and they like it in you. As you lack Te, and like it in them. Particularly, dominant Te. To simplify things as much as possible.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,987 Posts
I’m snuggling with my INFP husband while I’m typing this. I brought him home from church because he is feeling depressed. He’s napping now. It’s interesting. I told him today that the more he expresses the better other people like him. So while this is happening he,s asking me why I love him. Me, I tell him how brilliant, kind, caring, such a great father, such a great lover. So intelligent. Such a brilliant writer. I tell him how alike we are, how I always wanted someone who could understand me like he does. Understanding and appreciating me is so important to me. We get to talk about everything. Okay so now I will tell you, we have to relie on my Te a LOT, and as long as Fi is appreciated by the Te user it works. The Ne and Te work well for humor. My husband is constantly cracking me and the kids up. I don’t know if his need for understanding is as great as mine. I would never want my Fi not expressed and understood in a close relationship, so it’s interesting that that might not be what INFP males need as much. I think it helps us both a ton to be able to be understood. If you do then look for a ENFP with strong Te and also strong appreciation. Also I keep thinking he needed a ENFJ, and I hope he gets a ENFJ friend someday. ENFJs are supposed to be the perfect match for INFPs, aren’t they?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Judson Joist

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,378 Posts
I find Gen-Y exemplifying everythjng associated with the conservatives of old.
I take it you don't mean "conservative" in the "Constitutionalist" sense. That type of "conservative" would regard themself as one who is truly liberated and dedicated to "conserving" liberty.

Really freaking old-fashioned, repressive, uptight.
Some would define themselves as "classical," "structured," "conscientious."

They are like the oppressors now.
Orderliness isn't always oppression. Only if it's Lawful Evil. Lawful Good types view themselves as standing for liberty, but from a perspective that's congruent with social order (specifically, an order based on justice). Maybe it's that sense of structure that "feels" oppressive to some. Others find it liberating, especially in a workplace context, and I can explain exactly why. People are less stressed out when they know what's expected of them - when their responsibilities are clearly defined. When responsibilities are left ambiguous, that's when people get stressed out, partially because they don't know what sort of end result is expected, partially because they don't know exactly what's expected of them individually, and partially because exploitation tends to take hold in those situations. This principle is applicable to society as well as the workplace.

wtf happened to them.
We got older. Some parts of our brains changed in the way they're "programmed." We gained more life experiences and learned the value of planning. Not in the sense of a "planned society" or a "planned economy," but personal planning - the kind that actually benefits the people involved. You know, being "the captain of your own destiny" and all that sort of thing. Also, we tend to value differed gratification over instant gratification. That's not to say that a person should nix all short-range gratification all the time. Just go easy on it. For example, if you're walking through the produce section of a grocery store and you spot a bunch of gorgeous yellow heirloom tomatoes (or maybe some red beefsteak tomatoes), there's nothing wrong with buying a few on impulse because that's not going to harm your future in any way. It could just as easily be a pizza or a peanut butter cake or whatnot.

It's okay to splurge every once in a while as long it doesn't destabilize your budgetary strategy. In fact, having a plan in the first place ironically makes you more able to be spontaneous.

INTJs aren't a good option unless you have some bite to you
I wish more INTJs, male and female alike, valued gentleness of spirit as much as I do.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
123 Posts
Discussion Starter #8 (Edited)
I met this I believe blonde isfp woman and she was really nice, kind of clumsy like me but I thought she was pretty, but I didn't quite feel as much chemistry wth her and felt kind of bad at the lack of intuition though she miggt have a been an N actually, I just findcI am too thoughtful for most people. I have a terrible habit of liking to theorize and research or read deeply into subjects, or practice music all day. I can be more logical and top the point but I prefer being a laid back free spirit...


I honestly do not fit into North America at all, I heard someone thinking I am gay again, that is partially was why she rejected me, because I am not materialistic, or a low brow macho man and I like culture.

It is just boring and lame here, I am not sgainst liberalism andcam a bit still, but then everything is kind of controlled and stagnant, everyone is still very capitalist but yet everything is closed so you just follow,through the motions and what is the point? Plus Canadians are kind of stuffy and repressive.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
123 Posts
Discussion Starter #9 (Edited)
I take it you don't mean "conservative" in the "Constitutionalist" sense. That type of "conservative" would regard themself as one who is truly liberated and dedicated to "conserving" liberty.


Some would define themselves as "classical," "structured," "conscientious."


Orderliness isn't always oppression. Only if it's Lawful Evil. Lawful Good types view themselves as standing for liberty, but from a perspective that's congruent with social order (specifically, an order based on justice). Maybe it's that sense of structure that "feels" oppressive to some. Others find it liberating, especially in a workplace context, and I can explain exactly why. People are less stressed out when they know what's expected of them - when their responsibilities are clearly defined. When responsibilities are left ambiguous, that's when people get stressed out, partially because they don't know what sort of end result is expected, partially because they don't know exactly what's expected of them individually, and partially because exploitation tends to take hold in those situations. This principle is applicable to society as well as the workplace.


We got older. Some parts of our brains changed in the way they're "programmed." We gained more life experiences and learned the value of planning. Not in the sense of a "planned society" or a "planned economy," but personal planning - the kind that actually benefits the people involved. You know, being "the captain of your own destiny" and all that sort of thing. Also, we tend to value differed gratification over instant gratification. That's not to say that a person should nix all short-range gratification all the time. Just go easy on it. For example, if you're walking through the produce section of a grocery store and you spot a bunch of gorgeous yellow heirloom tomatoes (or maybe some red beefsteak tomatoes), there's nothing wrong with buying a few on impulse because that's not going to harm your future in any way. It could just as easily be a pizza or a peanut butter cake or whatnot.

It's okay to splurge every once in a while as long it doesn't destabilize your budgetary strategy. In fact, having a plan in the first place ironically makes you more able to be spontaneous.


I wish more INTJs, male and female alike, valued gentleness of spirit as much as I do.
Meh, I regret talking about Gen Y like that, it was just from experience, whatever you want to call it, it is not for me.


Anyway, on another unrelated note, a bunch of Americans added me on facebook and I was suggested them as well by facebook, a lot of them happened to be women, I actually find a,erican women pretty attractive and I feel like they accept me more. I've been around foreignors and a constant influx of immigrants constantly here in Canada, a lot of them from those liberal countries are really snooty, it just makes me feel more sad and put of place. Some Canadians are like that a bit though.

It is just, having spent so much time thinking and reading I gpt to the point where I realized what is the point? Pretty much everything has been solved. You can think around theorizing all day or accept nature and be a part of the living...

I,still want to try and make progress tho and am still socialist a bit (classical liberal-socialst) ;)

It is just I have always been fairly motivated, and I'd rather be engaged and doing thing, I,went to outer space and explored,that world but I came down and realized i'd rather stay on earth.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
123 Posts
Discussion Starter #10 (Edited)
I’m snuggling with my INFP husband while I’m typing this. I brought him home from church because he is feeling depressed. He’s napping now. It’s interesting. I told him today that the more he expresses the better other people like him. So while this is happening he,s asking me why I love him. Me, I tell him how brilliant, kind, caring, such a great father, such a great lover. So intelligent. Such a brilliant writer. I tell him how alike we are, how I always wanted someone who could understand me like he does. Understanding and appreciating me is so important to me. We get to talk about everything. Okay so now I will tell you, we have to relie on my Te a LOT, and as long as Fi is appreciated by the Te user it works. The Ne and Te work well for humor. My husband is constantly cracking me and the kids up. I don’t know if his need for understanding is as great as mine. I would never want my Fi not expressed and understood in a close relationship, so it’s interesting that that might not be what INFP males need as much. I think it helps us both a ton to be able to be understood. If you do then look for a ENFP with strong Te and also strong appreciation. Also I keep thinking he needed a ENFJ, and I hope he gets a ENFJ friend someday. ENFJs are supposed to be the perfect match for INFPs, aren’t they?
Oh great it is really nice to hear an actual example of someone liking an INFp.

The Te thing is not that hard for me, what is it after all, checking and being mindful of the facts? Often times this,feels to me though like subtly trying to encourage an individual to accept and adhere to the status quo and often times it feels quite limiting to me and as well, especially because I am an out of the box thinker and I like trying to see possibilties and am creative so often times this falls on deaf ears or is misunderstood in that way. Bit to me it just feels like forcing a person stay in the box at all times.

I guess the problem is I offend people for questioning things,and having my own belief,system or just being curious and thoughful and it is misinterperted as me not understanding something or being naive or that I think about pointless nonesense and in some way I am inadequate or something.

I mean to me, the "why" the reason will and always does exist, if you relegate yourseslf simply to a straight jacket of logistics you are missing the main point or performing purposes for others that you are not aware of, but either way accomplishing a motive or agenda for some means to an end.

Even if I am logicsl, factual, people still often right off my opinions though it is the same with most social interactions.

Most people just talk about their jobs and then the specofoc actions or perhaps technical skills behind said job and I think "okay" but either eay I am always sightly removed unless it is related to something human, I feel it actually does not serve that much of a purpose at times.

So then I think "okay its just capitalism" but then, everyone worries and focuses on all that shit and I am but removed, "well because our jooobs blah blah, bills taxes, mindlessly follow authority!" And yeah..

Then everyone thinks I am weird and reject me. It is hard,to find people who like books, music, art and are,spiritual or whatnot.

A lot of NT's would be "well it is survival of the fittest, darwinianism,IT IS ALL SCIENCE FEEBLE FEELERS!!!!!! THUS CAPITALOSM EVURYTIMEE!!!"

And uh, I do not really agree, I do not think we are just biological automations so sorry no, answer already obvious then. Avoiding talking politics and religion at dinner table. K thnx. It is only that because of the opposite reasons in that they dont get it or like "sciemce sayz we r just like animals, bleep blop this is how r brains work, HUMAN BEINGS R GREEDY AND SELFISH WHO CARES,THEN!!!! I FITTEST * EMITS PRIMAL ROAR*
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
123 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
I never realized it before, but even though everyone thinks I am weird and and strange, almost like an alien, because maybe I am after all, I have to some hide my abilities : (

The constamment loner that I am.

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,987 Posts
I think I was responding to the INFP who said ?Te dominant women? as much as I was responding to the OP. I of course am not a dominant Te? I?m an ENFP. Hutch means my INFP husband and I are very much alike. We have fun in everything and connect on everything and I needed this because I craved this level of intimacy and understanding. Jung says if like-types get together that they have to experience the most growth to get along in life. This is true. I use my Te (my third function) in my jobs and I depend a lot on my husband?s Si. So logistics, etc. he is better at making sure we have our physical needs met? like he ordered my daughters backpack the other day when I forgot to. That?s the kind of common everyday stuff at play. Yes he definitely needs a job that helps people. So do I for that matter. We can talk about everything under the sun including 100% same page in politics. We often try to put-do each other on trying to express the same thing in a clever way? Lol. Anyway, I?m very grateful for him and count myself a happy woman. My post above mentions the appreciation factor needed from the Te user if in fact there is a strong Te woman being pared with the INFP. I read once that ESTJ and INFP together is one of the most common marriages? which is interesting because my mother in law is ESTJ and it is difficult for my husband and her to get along. Okay when she listens, but often she doesn?t respect appreciate or listen. DO look out for that ENFJ- INFP relationship duo as well? said to be lovely. Other ENFPs and I have been mentioning to each other that the ENFP-INFP relationship can be very strong, very intense and very wonderful. That?s what I?ve got. Good luck!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
123 Posts
Discussion Starter #13 (Edited)
I think I was responding to the INFP who said ?Te dominant women? as much as I was responding to the OP. I of course am not a dominant Te? I?m an ENFP. Hutch means my INFP husband and I are very much alike. We have fun in everything and connect on everything and I needed this because I craved this level of intimacy and understanding. Jung says if like-types get together that they have to experience the most growth to get along in life. This is true. I use my Te (my third function) in my jobs and I depend a lot on my husband?s Si. So logistics, etc. he is better at making sure we have our physical needs met? like he ordered my daughters backpack the other day when I forgot to. That?s the kind of common everyday stuff at play. Yes he definitely needs a job that helps people. So do I for that matter. We can talk about everything under the sun including 100% same page in politics. We often try to put-do each other on trying to express the same thing in a clever way? Lol. Anyway, I?m very grateful for him and count myself a happy woman. My post above mentions the appreciation factor needed from the Te user if in fact there is a strong Te woman being pared with the INFP. I read once that ESTJ and INFP together is one of the most common marriages? which is interesting because my mother in law is ESTJ and it is difficult for my husband and her to get along. Okay when she listens, but often she doesn?t respect appreciate or listen. DO look out for that ENFJ- INFP relationship duo as well? said to be lovely. Other ENFPs and I have been mentioning to each other that the ENFP-INFP relationship can be very strong, very intense and very wonderful. That?s what I?ve got. Good luck!
I personally could never be in a close relationship with an estj. I feel like it is just more typical shaming of infps,for not being like what is more socially accepted of them and being an SJ itself. I an completely self suffecient, independent and able to take care of myself. I feel like the mbti just loves to suggest that infps mustmhave this stimulis and have to be reminded all the time to stay in line and do what you are told and I can only envision a submissive man with an overbearing and controlling type a estj woman, no thanks, ew.

Even if I am competent and not at submissive they will try to make you think you are, not to imagine I find them harsh and overwhelming in close relationships.


That is why it is frustrating, it is like seemingly men supposed to make womem feel like they are more dominant strong and masculine even if it is aritifical and I can only balk at most notions.

My dreamy FI then to many only seems like a sensitive fanciful far off little idlylic rambling and nothing. "Aww, sad,little sensitive mam, he lives in his own little sensitive dream world" but I cannot help but balk at most manners in which masculinity is to be measured or gauged.


I do not outright desire power for the sake of it or so I can hold it above others and I know that must make me some unmasculine as well I am not driven to have more merely for the sake of it and desperately slave away to somehow set myself above the herd materialistically or monetary.

I am not a stereotypical infp though, what makes me one is that at my core it is always my moral compass FI which steers the ship.

I like entj women a bit, I had an entj woman friend and liked her quite, even though they are not feelers I find ENTX women fairly warm still then other t's, and I also think istp women are cut cuzmI think tomboys are lol. I feel like they like me because I provide them warmth and comfort they cannot get other places amd I am not intimidated by strong independent women *shrugs*

I am so used to holding my own against extroverts that I think a lot of introvered women also find me sufficiently masculine enough I think now surprisingly. Plus we can read books all day and think deeply about things most extroverts do not understand.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,987 Posts
Whoever said masculine and sweet don’t go together? I appreciate my husband SO much. He wants a co-partnership with me and I feel he takes good care of me—- like the best. You guys have a LOT to offer.
My husband and I say to our kids, “Never go after anyone who doesn’t respect and love you and your ideas, who you are. iNFPs can have it all just like any other type. Steve Colbert is an INFP by the way. So was Shakespeare.
 

·
Registered
ENTJ; 8w7; Persian C
Joined
·
9,448 Posts
INFP™ males are simply lovely - with a soothing demeanor to be rather non-judgmental & supportive in my ('Te') endeavors, I enjoyed my long-talks with my sensitive [to humanity] male INFP; just an average honest guy with good intentions behind his sensitivities.

The female-humanoid(s) are usually not my type nor preferred temperament on women, however.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
123 Posts
Discussion Starter #16 (Edited)
Okay, I have just had so many re occuring expeirences where other men and women dont appreciate or seem me as I am, and see who I am as a weakness and if you are not really macho or butch you do not qualify as a man or with respect.

I had someone thinking I was gay even recently. I am bi-racial and my features are like asians sort of, like my skin, hair and body type. I do not show my age and am boyish looking but wtf it is not my fault. Whatever I do I seem gay or feminine to them. People think I am part mexican or asian sometimes because of it.

I mean I dunno, I do not know where to look for reprieve in this sense, I think I see some women who look like they would appreciate me or who,show me attention it is just I am somewhat of a square peg in a round hole.

I mean I am sort of in between the white collar and blue collar world and I find I just piss people off because I do not fit easily into little boxes or labels. I could easily be white collar in a sense that I can easily get degrees and go thtough post secondary, but I think for myself and I am not in agreeance with most of what they tell me.

You could say I am kind of a Marxist still, maybe better yet perhaps "crusader" and um, I am not a stuffy white collar person and I refuse to take advantage of blue collar people and I have no privilege at all so I am just on the fringes here, very individualistic and my own person but it makes people angry.

Likewise though I feel like the blue collar and white collar world shun me, seemingly, out of the norm sort to speak.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
123 Posts
Discussion Starter #17
Whoever said masculine and sweet don’t go together? I appreciate my husband SO much. He wants a co-partnership with me and I feel he takes good care of me—- like the best. You guys have a LOT to offer.
My husband and I say to our kids, “Never go after anyone who doesn’t respect and love you and your ideas, who you are. iNFPs can have it all just like any other type. Steve Colbert is an INFP by the way. So was Shakespeare.
I know forma while sensitice artsy men but then whatever happened at some point fpr like a decade it was big burly manly men. Like heath ledger, jonhhy depp orlando bloom and who ever else, jared leto. Now most men are supppsed to have beards or something and you see big burly men like Chris Hemsworth being the ideal man and I am not very vogue or popular anymore.
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Top