"It's funny reading this thread and other INTJ/INFP threads. There seems be a certain disconnect between the two types, especially in romantic relationships. It's always befuddled me because the without a doubt easiest relationship in my life is with lirulin i.e an INTJ. It's just so easy - I'm a wacko and she laughs at me. She's my reference point to reality (we find this endlessly amusing) and I make up stories about triangles in outer space. We just clicked after one conversation - we were locked out my apartment by other friends and we had this ridiculous conversation about philosophy and books. I think I may be less sensitive than other INFPs and so I really don't mind discussing Fi type issues, and she has a tendency to squee over cats and such like me. It's just such a straightforward friendship - there's no drama, no ridiculousness, just awesome. What's great is that I don't have to try to find hidden meanings in her actions - if she has an issue, she will tell you. That makes me so much more comfortable.
In fact, basically all the best relationships in my life are with XXTJs - because I get how they care for you - with action rather than speech. My dad is a XSTJ and he has never said anything mushy to me nor has he really ever hugged me - but I can tell without a doubt that he really, really cares about me. To the point of worrying too much about me"
Sorry, trying to quote it but keep failing LOL
But anyways duuuude, yes, yes, EXACTLY! It couldn't have said better. Everything has been explained beautifully right there. Maturity definitely plays an important role in relationships as well. What's the best thing is that when XXTJs (or XNTXs in general) verbally express their appreciation and love for you, it becomes wholly more meaningful. And I understand how difficult it is for them sometimes.
My father is exactly the same, except he's an ENTJ. So I totally get you what you mean in the last paragraph.
Relationships (as friends or as lovers) between XNFP and XNTJ truly do make one of the best. All it takes for an individual's maturity, understanding, and willingness to respect and accept to make this extremely worthwhile. Not only that, but they personally taught me to grow and become a better person as a result through our differences and similarities.