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What types have you had long-term romantic relationships with?

  • NT

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  • INTJ

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  • INFP

    Votes: 1 14.3%
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  • ENFJ

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  • ESFJ

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  • ISFP

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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
ENFJs only puh leeze. Thanks!
 

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@Seeker

I guess I've heard about it.
I will not seek therapy for it though, because now I kind of relish in making other people feel uncomfortable... well no I don't... but the result of this attachment style has made me very good friends whom I'm loyal too. Perhaps it won't help in romance, but it certainly helps in lasting friendships.
 

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Shapapa, getting help for preoccupied attachment won't prevent you from having lasting and loyal friendships. If anything, developing a more secure attachment style helps people to have healthy and lasting friendships and romantic relationships. It helps us to feel better on the inside too. It's you, loyal, sweet, encouraging, ENFJ you--but just in a way that your message can truly be received and that you can feel whole.

You can read more about it here: Dr. Sue Johnson | Creating Connections
 

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@Seeker
No but it'll prevent me from being around those who are quick to judge and be scared off.
At least I know about it now, which is different from not knowing. =)
 

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I would read Sue Johnson's work before coming to conclusions. It's true that you don't want a hyper-critical or judgmental partner. With that being said, it's actually frequently the avoidants that wind up getting mixed up with us pre-occupieds. They are drawn to us because we pursue and no one else will. They don't mix with their fellow avoidants actually. Then we go through a long cycle of torture with them.

Johnson's work is worth reading.

And, yes, definitely keep being loyal and caring you. Keep reaching out to others. That's a good thing.
 

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I would read Sue Johnson's work before coming to conclusions. It's true that you don't want a hyper-critical or judgmental partner. With that being said, it's actually frequently the avoidants that wind up getting mixed up with us pre-occupieds. They are drawn to us because we pursue and no one else will. They don't mix with their fellow avoidants actually. Then we go through a long cycle of torture with them.

Johnson's work is worth reading.

And, yes, definitely keep being loyal and caring you. Keep reaching out to others. That's a good thing.
I actually looked up several articles when you mentioned "preoccupied attachment"
The thing is I've actually been getting better at it slowly, but didn't know it had a name until you mentioned it.

It does help me make a lot more sense of what's going on around, just since I've made a lot of personal progress on it I believe I must keep going down the path. Most of my friends know I'm like this and so it's easier to get better when they are the ones catching me doing it.
 
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