What uncommon beliefs you hold?

i can see theres a correlation between personality psychology and beliefs held.

so tell me, what uncommon beliefs you hold, when they started, changed, new ones, the whys behind your choices, and so on. also state your type, enneas and instincts for possible relevance.

i start:

since i was 7, i speculated, that life is just a flash. we think we really experience things, but in reality, your life is a mere flash. that time is just an illusion. if you take yourself a moment and refect on your entire life in a single moment, you might experience this same feeling that its all so insignificant. like it all just slips through your fingers, and theres nothing you can do to stop it. (ive also specualted that this flash could be, cause im dying, so in my dying last breaths, i see my life flash through my mind. it kinda makes sense, considering whenever you feel like your life is about to end, this happens. at least for me. its like.. wow, my life was so insignificant. and now it could all end right now.)

at around age 13, i started to believe that i dies every night, because my brains renew itself constantly, based on science. that was indeed, an emotional belief based on science, so obviously an irrational one.

but i still somehow feel like every time i go to sleep, im never oging to wake up. that whoever wakes up in my body next day, is not me.

since age 17 i learned an ability to see auras. its fun, exciting, but i honestly see no point in hedonism. so i wont use it, really. but when i have strong emotions, it always gets triggered on, despite that i dont see point in enjoyment. its paradoxical, considering i consider enjoyment the only purpose of life. ah, well, i expect everyone has trouble with their integration point. trouble, which isnt so rational at all.. =|

from somewhere around 13 onwards, ive htought, that if there was a mgic switch in my head to end my life, i wouldnt hesitate to pull it. and i think ive kept the same attitude since then, that if i could, i would just die. but i think death is not necessarily even possible, since this is a dream. or, because my unconsciousness dominates me, and theres nothing i can do about it. cause im a slave to my unconsciousness.

my most recent acquisitions include, that all pain is an illusion. just imagination. in reality, we only have signals that our body gives us, but the pain itself is just imagination. and that i can cure other peoples headaches just by looking at their eyes and just because i want it to go away, it does. and this isnt really a belief, its something i casually do. but i realize not that many do this kind of thing in my country at least.

my empathy sometimes gets into an overdrive, and if someone in the same space i spend time with, even if i dont look at them at all.. i can feel all their hidden pain, problems, insanity, emptiness, anxiety... its awful. and i know its also all right, because the people always say yes if i ask them about those things i feel from them.

i also have an ability to control atmospheres. i can make everyone feel good/better, without saying a word. maintaining a good atmopshere this way is very exhausting if people are stressed, but i can do it, provided i feel well. like today i had a very exhausting day, met my family, whom are a high pace, high stress, hedonistic never stop to take care of your emotional problems kind of variety. i made the atmospehere good, until fighting their stress had so exhausted me that i started to project my exhaustion, and everyone got super lazy/relaxed. after that, i couldnt do it anymore, and everything returned into people shouting, children cscremaing, dogs barking...

i also believe that i ultimately control all of my feelings. i can decide to feel whatever i want to feel. my feels are a mere reflection of my thinking. but since i see no point in hedonism, unless i feel like ive taken care of every problem i have, then i give myself small pauses to have an intense pleasurous moments.

your turn, and remember to mention your psychological attributes.