Personality Cafe banner

41 - 60 of 111 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,174 Posts
@Navis Amoris- I'm naturally tongue-tied. :( Also, do you think our stuttering has a role in our introversions? I know on some days I don't say much at all because I get really stressed out from speaking. And...because of my speech impediment from my childhood...I always think someone is mocking me even when they're just merely repeating what I just said. Terrible feeling, mocked.
I'm actually not entirely sure if I would have stuttered if it wasn't for my dad stuttering as well, and there's obviously no way of testing it... It's just a theory. Either way, it still sucks just as much. I do think introversion has a part in it, because I'm personally convinced stuttering happens when you pay attention to yourself (and what you think others are thinking of you) rather than paying attention to what it is you're trying to communicate (focusing on external factors).

Most stutterers (perhaps even all) don't stutter when they talk to their pets, for example. It also seems the same thing goes for the situations when we're engaged in some activity we truly enjoy, and then quickly say something to another person without really thinking about our speech and how we relate to it.

I felt people were mocking me for a long time too. It hasn't been until the last couple years that I realize that's simply not true. I've always been so afraid of what I thought other people thought of me, but in reality it's me who was unfairly judging them by presuming to know they were judging me.

I may be getting a bit ahead of myself here, but one great book I'd like to recommend to you is Dr. Bodenhamer's 'Mastering Blocking and Stuttering: a cognitive approach to achieving fluency'. It has really helped me a lot. Although I still stumble a lot on some days, when I go back to the cognitive 'exercises' he teaches you in the book I can usually eliminate my stuttering or at least drastically diminish it for some time.

I think if I wasn't simply scared of facing my 'stuttering demon' at times, I'd have achieved fluency already with the help of that book. It's been an absolute life-saver for me when I had to do things like public speaking. Aside from that, the first few chapters really help you understand the nature of your own stuttering and what's causing it. Like I said; couldn't recommend it enough. The guy has a website with some articles and stuff too (Mastering Blocking & Stuttering: A Cognitive Approach to Achieving Fluency | "If you can speak fluently in just one context, you can learn to speak fluently in all contexts.").

You know what's funny though? My wife barely notices I stutter. I've never once stuttered when speaking to her. But then when I call my parents in her presence, sometimes I do stutter. I think it's simply because I don't 'associate' stuttering with speaking to her. I've always been able to speak fluently when I was with her (also to her relatives, countrymen, etc.). Silly, isn't it?

[edit] For non-stutterers reading this: please don't make the assumption stuttering is an expression of insecurity. When a fluent person suddenly starts stuttering it probably is, but for a person with an actual speech impediment that doesn't necessarily have to be the case (although it could be). I just felt it's important to mention that, because most people don't seem to understand it very well. :)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,725 Posts
@ohTOMICho
@Navis Amoris

Weird, I also have a stuttering "problem" but I've gotten mostly over it over the years. The only times when it comes out is when I'm talking about something I feel very passionate about, when I'm lying and when I feel I'm on the spotlight. It becomes even more pronounced when I'm aware of it, in which case I just try to shut up and pretend I never said anything in the first place.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,803 Posts
Discussion Starter #44
I have this weird sort of stutter sometimes. It's not an actual stutter but i'll sometimes keep repeating the beginning of a word like. "y-yy-y-you know sometimes I do this and that." I wasn't really aware until a friend was mocking me, but he was only trying to relate to me lol. I don't think I do it anymore though. Now I still just have that pause in between words all the time lol. My roommate was actually like "yeah sometimes you talk kind of slow, It's almost comes off like you have a speech impediment or something, but when people know you more they realize you're just thinking a lot."
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
i listen to sad songs, watch sad films etc. to MAKE myself cry because it feels.. soothing, i suppose? i don't know anyone else who does this.



i find it so hard to identify with women, especially very emotional women or "girly-girls."
I can relate to both of these...it may not be for the same reasons though..when i feel down, I'm not good at expressing my mood or showing emotion, so i watch sad movies and shows to allow me to do so. its refreshing

and as far as having a hard time identifying with women who are emotional or 'girly-girls'? completely. i can't stand drama-filled and superficial friendships. in fact it is rare for me to have a good girl friend...i always connect with and confide in my guy friends. Guys tend to cut the crap and dont sugar coat things, which i appreciate. I'm not sure if girls have tended to be more catty and judgmental towards me because they don't understand me? and to be honest, I'm even more guarded towards women, so they don't have opportunity to understand me. I'm not completely sure if thats the reason and it honestly doesn't bother me. again...not worth the drama :)

i also experience something similar with my speech...not necessarily a stutter but if I'm put on the spot or nervous ... or my mind is going a mile a minute, even though i am talking slow, i mix up words, or words become melded together. it embarrasses me to no end..but i can't control it when it happens. i am dyslectic when it comes to numbers..but maybe its relative? not sure.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
152 Posts
I listen to a lot of loud, angry, and aggressive music.
Coincedentally, I have a lot of pent-up anger and emotion.
My biggest hobby is strength training to one day compete in some kind of strength sport (powerlifting, strong man, highland games) (I'm not really competitive, I just want to be able to do it to be honest. It has very profound and personal meaning to me)
I'm a night owl.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,643 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
858 Posts
this is very subjective, but i'll throw a few random maybes.

i enter serious relationships with a strong "when it ends," not "if it ends" approach.

i'm very bluntly honest. if i don't like your hair, i won't lie and tell you i love it.

i scarcely lie because it is wrong but it's also advantageous in that, when i do genuinely need to lie when it isn't wrong / to keep a personal boundary, i can pull it off easily without suspicion.

i believe that if i was born male, i'd be an INTJ lol.

i've taught myself to see "both sides" to an argument even if one person is particularly in the wrong. (didn't used to be this way - i was always so quick to take sides, but my ENTP friend showed me the light ha.)

i listen to sad songs, watch sad films etc. to MAKE myself cry because it feels.. soothing, i suppose? i don't know anyone else who does this.

overly withdrawn people really irritate me because then i have to take on the role as doer. ):

my voice oscillates between quiet, moody & deep, and squeakily varied & booming.

i find it so hard to identify with women, especially very emotional women or "girly-girls."

Well, you found another person. I would conjure up sad, angsty scenarios in my head and I cry at them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
94 Posts
I listen to a lot of loud, angry, and aggressive music.
Coincedentally, I have a lot of pent-up anger and emotion.
My biggest hobby is strength training to one day compete in some kind of strength sport (powerlifting, strong man, highland games) (I'm not really competitive, I just want to be able to do it to be honest. It has very profound and personal meaning to me)
I'm a night owl.
Dark INFJ ;P. True Owl then...I think of us as such so the "night owl" remark struck a chord. I'm sort of the opposite side of the spectrum. I am a classical musician. When I'm comfortable I can be pretty excitable and silly. Much to my own embarrassment at times -_-. My introversion is insanely high. I usually test in the 90's :/. It takes me a very long time to get comfortable because as mentioned by others that have commented, I also tend to think people are mocking/ laughing at me. Although, trying to understand others is helping me trust people more by uncovering their intent. Instead of what I thought their intent was. If that makes sense... I think my family makes me different because I've had to really reach to understand them. I'm the only NF in a family. Dad=ENTJ, Mom= ESFJ, Sister= ISFJ. I Kind of always felt different. For a while I was really angry too, but I didn't see how being angry or yelling hurt others too, so I had to let it go. My parents used to yell when I was growing up, It really affected me but I mimicked the behavior later on anyway :/.They don't yell much at all after we talked about it. They never knew how much it hurt me. We are beginning to understand each other more. It always felt weird yelling though like I was watching myself from up high. I started yelling as a pre-teen I think I stopped looking within since I felt that everything I did was wrong anyway so why not just blow everyone off and do it my way. I spent every minute distracting myself or trying to be an extrovert with my other friends but the anger and resentment just got worse. Then I hurt a good friend of mine. I don't think they'll ever forgive me, but it's reminded me to look within and find what gives me peace and what shows the people I care about that I do in fact care. Gosh, I sound like a hippie! Anyway, now I'm back to the natural flow of things. A good friend of mine is teaching me to live in the moment without letting go of that self-reflection time. Running helped me with my pent-up emotion. It still does. I used to love the rush of energy with anger but now I get that through playing music more. I get that same emotional surge of power. Fantastic.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
204 Posts
I am bossy as all hell when it comes to work. I feel like I don't have a vocabulary as wide as you guys too or maybe being able to word things so well, sometimes i'll be reading thinking "gosh this person knows whats going on"

Oh also, I can help but smile at so many of the posts being liked, i'm assuming that kind of means "oh me too!" which kind of means we have it in common :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
49 Posts
- I find that I am more judgemental than some INFJs I know in real life (two of my closest friends are INFJs). They tolerate people more easily and try their best to understand some people, while I sometimes don't. One INFJ is very tolerant of people. She is always open to helping anyone even if they might harm her. I shut myself from someone I find dangerous. That INFJ friend and I make a good team because I often protect her if she is allowing people to abuse her helpfulness, and she teaches me to sometimes get out of my defensive "turtle shell." She also seems to value mercy over justice, while I most usually value justice over mercy (or I think I do). This may be because I also have much higher T than her, even if we're both INFJs. Another example is how she thinks literary analysis sometimes kills the sheer beauty of reading a novel. "Feeling" and "experiencing" a novel is the only truly important thing for her. On the other hand, I enjoy rationally thinking about a novel as a machine with different parts (thus, I like literally analysis). She could be (guessing, but not sure) a Type 2 or Type 4, while I am a Type 5. I am also much more stingy than her.

- I am EXTREMELY hyper (if I am comfortable with people around me). I have met INFJs who are very calm, and do not feel like need to jump around, point at trees and scream "Tree!!", hug the tree, and pretend to be a dead sloth hanging off the tree.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,643 Posts
*whispers: now I look very stupid, clears throat and says* so yeah WW1 was an important event in human-history...
Sorry XD, i'd show it but it just isn't working >.<.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
166 Posts
I have a young python trying to strangle my hand to death. Do I win? ;-P

I can understand how Hitler could have been an INFJ, which seems to be different to how most people feel about it, that's the only thing that comes to mind.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,329 Posts
- I'm pretty loud. I sometimes talk too much without meaning to as well.
- I'm pretty extroverted for an INFJ, that's something that sort of developed in recent years.
- I often feel like there are many things I don't really want to know about people. I guess because I work with so many of them everyday (fast-paced customer service jobs which I've been working since I was 17), I feel cautious about peeling back too many layers of a person. I need to feel confident about boundaries way more than I ever did when I was younger and knew I had the protection of a teacher or guardian.

And I have a feeling the rest of the differences are normal for our type. Even the ones I typed up aren't that... different.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
427 Posts
I have ticklish kneecaps.
 
41 - 60 of 111 Posts
Top