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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
As a life long INTP, I have had one best friend with other characters sort of just flying by. When I did, I shared my amazing thoughts with someone who generally cared and tagged along with whatever plan I had or advice I could give on problems as we came from similar backgrounds. I often find myself missing the companionship and feeling guilty as I didn't always truly enjoy our time together as much as I should. It also seems impossible for me to kinder these relationships anymore as others seem to put barriers on how far they'll let me in. I haven't tried maiking friends out of school yet so i thought I'd ask others about their experienes.

Have you ever had a friend that you desire to have back? If so what was the relationship like and possily what their type was if you knew or what made it special?
 

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I love how we're all lonely neckbeards that can't comment on this thread because we have no friends.
 

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Define "Friend"...
 
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Temporary. Or maybe they weren't really friendships but rather the closest thing I got to a friendship.
 

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Friends I don't see anymore are not 'unfriended', I just don't see them anymore. I don't miss them either. If I need them, I know they are there and vice versa, couldn't (nor want to) ask for much more.
Got a few of those, which is plenty.

Other people in my life are all expendable. Either they have proven to not be on the same level as me as for friendship, or I just have no room for them in my life. If it comes to it, one can become friends, but I rarely put effort in it.
 

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Friends I don't see anymore are not 'unfriended', I just don't see them anymore. I don't miss them either. If I need them, I know they are there and vice versa, couldn't (nor want to) ask for much more.
Got a few of those, which is plenty.

Other people in my life are all expendable. Either they have proven to not be on the same level as me as for friendship, or I just have no room for them in my life. If it comes to it, one can become friends, but I rarely put effort in it.
Exactly my approach.
 

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I have been good friends with many INTPs. I love them, they are intellectual siblings with similar humour, I generally feel relaxed around them. I do occasionally feel we rub each other the wrong way however... which really sucks for lack of a better word.

Sometimes the relationship develops into what feels like some sort of competition, in which I can only engage them in intellectual philosophical debates and I can no longer really engage them on more casual conversation... and I hate that because debates can get personal and we both have that capacity to get very condescending. And I know I can be cold when I am frustrated, but some INTPs have what feels like no problem just cutting you out and not even letting you talk things through. And then you just lose this really cool person

I also like keeping friends I admire close. A number of INTPs that I really have been able to get on with, where the above situation did not happen, would suddenly just become resistant. And we'd fade into a more casual friendship, or as acquaintances. Which really gets to me. And I think I understand the behaviour of the latter, but I'm not going to purport like I fully understand because we are different people
 

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I have a friend, 30 years and counting. He was my NCOIC in The Marines...some fun stories there. William Wharton's Birdy comes close to capturing it. He's Al and I like games instead of canaries.
 

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Making and keeping friends are usually an effort for me. My closest friends still have been those I made in high school, although I've let them fade in recent years, sometimes intentionally. I've made a few friends in the past that I have regretted letting them fade or lost contact, usually because of physical distance. Good friends are usually ones that I feel need to put effort into, but want to. Great friendship are ones that continue for a long time or I just naturally click. The later are very rare for me.

As far as types, I think my longest best friend may be ISTP. (I'm still nagging him to take an MBTI test, but haven't heard yet.) We don't live near each other any more and our communication may be only every few months, and can even lapse for a year or two between talking.

Friends I developed after high school were usually NTs and NFs. INTPs and ENTPs are rare, but the ones I probably connect with best.

I've always had a natural way of being able to be close to women. Before my junior year of high school almost all of my friends were girls. It wasn't until I moved and started my junior year in a new high school that I had more male friends.

I can be a good friend for some SF types, but I feel it is more one sided. I'm a good listener and good at giving impartial advice, but I feel like I'm often not really making a connection with them from what I need. It feels like they really don't understand me although they might feel they do. Some SF women will find themselves attracted to me. I usually have to proceed with caution or just back away.
 

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I have been good friends with many INTPs. I love them, they are intellectual siblings with similar humour, I generally feel relaxed around them. I do occasionally feel we rub each other the wrong way however... which really sucks for lack of a better word.

Sometimes the relationship develops into what feels like some sort of competition, in which I can only engage them in intellectual philosophical debates and I can no longer really engage them on more casual conversation... and I hate that because debates can get personal and we both have that capacity to get very condescending. And I know I can be cold when I am frustrated, but some INTPs have what feels like no problem just cutting you out and not even letting you talk things through. And then you just lose this really cool person

I also like keeping friends I admire close. A number of INTPs that I really have been able to get on with, where the above situation did not happen, would suddenly just become resistant. And we'd fade into a more casual friendship, or as acquaintances. Which really gets to me. And I think I understand the behaviour of the latter, but I'm not going to purport like I fully understand because we are different people
I've experienced this myself with people I think were INTJs. If you develop a good friendship without getting too tangled in debates early it can help later when you really get into difficult debates. If the competition starts too early in the friendship, than it might feel like always a confrontational spirit and I might decide it's better to just cut someone off if there is always going to be this feelng. If I feel this competition with an ISTJ, I will usually cut them off quickly. They are irritating at times and not really much of a challenge, just stubborn.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I'm almost sorry I've asked. It might just be my Fe acting up and wanting validation and a close wavelength of emotions between someone.
 

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I seem to become best friends with STJs. My fiance is ESTJ and he's my bestest friend, the one I can talk to about pretty much anything. My female best friend outside my family is ISTJ. When I was younger, I used to have a best friend who I'm pretty convinced was ESTJ. I am very good friends with my mother, too, who is INFP and who provides more for me on a deeper intellectual level.
I guess that STJs provide what I lack when it comes to relationships and they also don't require too much from me emotionally, which is very good.
I have never been very close to people and I don't really feel the need to have more than one friend.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I've experienced this myself with people I think were INTJs. If you develop a good friendship without getting too tangled in debates early it can help later when you really get into difficult debates. If the competition starts too early in the friendship, than it might feel like always a confrontational spirit and I might decide it's better to just cut someone off if there is always going to be this feelng. If I feel this competition with an ISTJ, I will usually cut them off quickly. They are irritating at times and not really much of a challenge, just stubborn.
I currently have what I suppose is an INTJ friend and he definitely doesn't do well in talking to others so we get along pretty well. Another upside is that I don't have to rely on my snappy banter to have a conversation to make a positive impact on our interactions. His conversations for others may border on weird and uninteresting but he's pretty quiet in our shared class so we don't hang out much and it can only be described as a "thrilling analysis on theory reaching jovial levels in me" when we do and that's hard for me to find.

I'll admit, I've probably been friends with an SF or two before. He was the initial friend I chose and was very diplomatic in his reasoning and very sensitive. We worked well because of our epic imagination and love of anime at the time. I eventually moved to far away for anyone to get us close enough together and he was always busy with Art School. It's kind of depressing to think about all the possible friends I left behind as I moved around for three years. I even at one point had girlfriend potential, and while not interested, the fact that I wouldn't see her drove me to say no among my own personal preferences and difficulty with attraction.
 
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