Personality Cafe banner

1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,886 Posts
Depends on how old they are most likely and how healthy. At a younger age, I denied liking somebody and feared relationships when I liked someone. This is probably not an ISFJ thing though. It's more of an unhealthy, unrealistic, and negative value system from within that can be possessed by any type.

I guess first of all they'll start to be a bit more comfortable around you. They may even start to say jokes or share more of their life with you. They'll be willing to hang out when you ask them most of the time too. This is something this usually happens for me before I want to date someone, but this is kind of a typical thing to all types. It can be harder to tell if IXXX's like someone, but if they are responsive to what you're saying and asking maybe they do. Just look for body language and compare it with their natural personality. Some types are more affectionate than others, so perhaps if the ISFJ actively seeks you out or is responsive to your requests this can be an indicator. Not always though, sometimes we can have trouble saying no and haven't developed good boundaries. I still struggle with boundaries with people and developing healthy relationships.

I think usually we're more monogamous and I know I almost never consider dating someone who's already in a relationship. The cliche, "All is fair in love and war", doesn't make a chord with me. If one's in a relationship they should respect it and maintain or end it before going out with someone else. OPINION!
 
  • Like
Reactions: wgvlvcrazy

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
That's all true for me. I guess further down the line I very rarely say how I feel first. But I'll be waiting and ready for them to broach the subject or take it further. Although I've been told that I give myself away in my body language or facial expressions and so may flirt that way.
When I do say how I feel I feel like it's too obvious or too cliched.
So my answer is that I do nothing except for making myself very available to that person, waiting for the next step.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
It's such a weird coincidence that I stumbled across this thread because I was just thinking about this yesterday. When I like somebody, that person will be on my mind a LOT and I find that whenever I see him or think about him, I'll start smiling unconsciously. That's kind of my first signal to myself that I'm falling for someone.

I read somewhere that ISFJs make good stalkers, and that's actually somewhat true of me ;) If I like somebody, I try to find out as much as possible about him and his backstory and his life, and I will probably spend a lot of time doing this. I'm constantly aware of what he's doing, and if he's in the room, I'm even more hyper-aware of exactly who he's talking to, what he's doing, what mood he's in.

I tend to be over-caring if I like somebody -- in the sense that I will always want to ensure that he's happy. If he's not, I will do everything in my power to make him happy. And even if the affection isn't mutual, I don't get incredibly upset or depressed, because I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness to make that person happy. I tend to become sort of motherly (which is awkward) in that sense.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,295 Posts
It's such a weird coincidence that I stumbled across this thread because I was just thinking about this yesterday. When I like somebody, that person will be on my mind a LOT and I find that whenever I see him or think about him, I'll start smiling unconsciously. That's kind of my first signal to myself that I'm falling for someone.

I read somewhere that ISFJs make good stalkers, and that's actually somewhat true of me ;) If I like somebody, I try to find out as much as possible about him and his backstory and his life, and I will probably spend a lot of time doing this. I'm constantly aware of what he's doing, and if he's in the room, I'm even more hyper-aware of exactly who he's talking to, what he's doing, what mood he's in.

I tend to be over-caring if I like somebody -- in the sense that I will always want to ensure that he's happy. If he's not, I will do everything in my power to make him happy. And even if the affection isn't mutual, I don't get incredibly upset or depressed, because I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness to make that person happy. I tend to become sort of motherly (which is awkward) in that sense.
Oh my goodness, you are saying everything that i'm doing these days. i sort of can't get a co-worker out of my head and i'm starting to notice that i'm acting different around him. the smiling unconciously, so true. and while i was reading this topic, i was actually checking out his facebook profile. stalkery, i know. here's the thing, i want to stop. any ideas on how to do this?
 
  • Like
Reactions: flight97

·
Registered
Joined
·
914 Posts
sit around and bubble, hoping someone will notice
 
  • Like
Reactions: Narrator

·
Registered
Joined
·
914 Posts
@wgvlvcrazy - lol, like, "Oh hey :) " kind of stuff... being extra nice. Its all kind of silly. Basically not taking any action and hoping the other person will make the first move so you arent thrust into an awkward situation.. But yeah being really nice and out going, comfortable are all good signs Id say.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
175 Posts
I simply do nothing. I'm not the flirting type and I'm not good at expressing myself, so I just sit and wait. I'm open to that person, but I generally wait for them to make the first move. Coming from a background where I don't agree with certain things outside of marriage, I tend to play hard to get in an odd way because I have a hard time believing when someone just wants to get to know me and isn't planning something. I think I chicken out and try to brush them off, but I don't really mean it. If someone wants to be close to me they're going to have to be a pretty determined little bugger. lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
Oh my goodness, you are saying everything that i'm doing these days. i sort of can't get a co-worker out of my head and i'm starting to notice that i'm acting different around him. the smiling unconciously, so true. and while i was reading this topic, i was actually checking out his facebook profile. stalkery, i know. here's the thing, i want to stop. any ideas on how to do this?
Try not to hang out with him for a few days. Don't see him, call him, IM him, text him, or anything like that. Immerse yourself in other pursuits and just try to get your mind off him as much as possible. For me, that definitely worked. It made me feel really distant and since I'm an emotionally needy person, completely disconnecting myself from him helped me separate myself from him emotionally.

It can be hard to stop sometimes. :) If disconnecting doesn't work (or isn't possible, if he's a co-worker), just give yourself a little pep talk and say to yourself, "I have to stop thinking about him. I need to focus on _________________. Stop thinking about him, and get back to work." I can't tell you HOW many times I did that...and the best part is, it actually worked.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,295 Posts
Try not to hang out with him for a few days. Don't see him, call him, IM him, text him, or anything like that. Immerse yourself in other pursuits and just try to get your mind off him as much as possible. For me, that definitely worked. It made me feel really distant and since I'm an emotionally needy person, completely disconnecting myself from him helped me separate myself from him emotionally.

It can be hard to stop sometimes. :) If disconnecting doesn't work (or isn't possible, if he's a co-worker), just give yourself a little pep talk and say to yourself, "I have to stop thinking about him. I need to focus on _________________. Stop thinking about him, and get back to work." I can't tell you HOW many times I did that...and the best part is, it actually worked.
i will try to do this. yeah it is difficult because he's my co-worker and now that i realize that i'm falling for him, i'll probably act like an idiot around him. but i will try hard and take your advice. crossing my fingers that it'll work. i'll be working with him tonight and it's a night shift so it's not busy. that means plenty of time to talk. oh boy, wish me luck. thanks. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: flight97

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
i will try to do this. yeah it is difficult because he's my co-worker and now that i realize that i'm falling for him, i'll probably act like an idiot around him. but i will try hard and take your advice. crossing my fingers that it'll work. i'll be working with him tonight and it's a night shift so it's not busy. that means plenty of time to talk. oh boy, wish me luck. thanks. :)
hehe I hope it went well! I know this worked for me - I'm really not sure if this carries over to other people. Just try to talk yourself through it, I know that definitely helped me. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,295 Posts
hehe I hope it went well! I know this worked for me - I'm really not sure if this carries over to other people. Just try to talk yourself through it, I know that definitely helped me. :)
hey, it worked for a while but then he would say or do something that would make me regress. i don't know if i'm making progress. i hope i am.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,358 Posts
Hold a torch from afar.
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
Top