[Oliver]

I have been meeting an ENFJ friend steadily for a few months who I have really started to get along well with. We love to talk to each other and can do so for hours, and I always come out feeling energized and happy after our meetings. She is always very helpful to me and loves to give me little gifts, paper cranes and lucky charms and such things. A few days ago I told her I really wanted to give her something too. First she was like, never mind, I don't need anything! But when I insisted a bit, she turned around and said she would be delighted to receive a gift.

I'm curious to know how you ENFJs generally feel about receiving gifts, as opposed to giving them. What kind of gift would you really appreciate? Do you like being surprised?

I'm good at drawing so my initial thought was to draw a portrait of her. A month ago she sent a photo of her to me. She had just returned home from shopping and dressed up in her new clothes to show me. I thought it was a beautiful photo so I saved it, and now I would like to make a drawing of it and give it to her.

I dunno, maybe it's not a good gift. :tongue: But I just want to give her something to show that I think of her and that she has become special to me.

 

[Enigma0z]

For me (now remember I'm not a girl, so it'll prolly be a bit different) the gifts that I like the most aren't very utilitarian, but something very personal/from the heart, shows you're thinking of her...

For instance, I have a letter from a very good friend of mine that is honestly right now my most treasured gift from her aside from the memories we share (too many to count), so I think you're idea is a great one... just about anything that will make her think of you (especially if she has feelings for you) would be great though.

LOL maybe I'm easy to please?

 

[Oliver]

Yeah, I wasn't thinking very much about "usefulness" either. Giving away an orange peeler or something doesn't really strike me as the most charming present available. (Unless she REALLY loves oranges.) :wink:

Hmm, I'm pretty certain I want to give her a drawing, but maybe I should choose another motif? I completely forgot that she might want to be reminded of me when she sees it, rather than herself, haha.

(especially if she has feelings for you)

Right now, she's a bit of a "maybe a friend, maybe a love" to me. Very much maybe. I've just decided to be as nice to her as possible and see where it goes... I stink at reading signals though, so I've got no clue how she feels for me. But if she outright tells me that she wants to know everything about me, cook for me, bring me to the opera, never wants to hung up on the phone when we talk and promise to always support and listen to me... that has to be a good sign. Right? Haha, maybe I'm just thick as a log, but it's hard to know whether the cake she made for you meant something special, because you guys makes cakes for everyone. :laughing:

 

[saccharomyces]

i bet she would love the painting!

at least i know that what i value most in the gift is the feeling that the person who gave it to me actually meant it, as in, the gift was picked out (or, even better - made!) especially for me, taking into account my personality, interests, our shared experiences, etc. - the stuff that a stranger would not know.
because a gift is essentially a bond (i guess i should not indulge into anthropological screeds concerning the theory and practice of gift exchange, we've got marcel mauss on that already), and, well, since us enfjs are not very materialistic by nature (which you can also deduce yourself by the type of presents she gives to you - self made like the cranes or showing care for your well being like the charms), if you reciprocate personalised gifts with something as impersonal as (using the example you previously invented yourself) an orange peeler, it won't match the value for her, thus implying that you do not reciprocate (even if you intend to).

so, yeah, basically the best thing to do is to think of giving her something that would mean a lot to her personally, but might be of little value for anyone else. thus, the painting idea is great, just consider what motif would appeal to her most in the aspect of being personalised, designed especially for her.
a portrait is not bad, since it will show her that you have put an effort in studying her close enough to be able to try and recreate that in a work of art, but i suggest you choose painting her in some kind of casual environment, doing something that is trademark for her (like, well, if she were to pucker her brow in a cute way all the time when she thinks, you could portray that), thereby making it look like you're actually trying to put a moment of your time together on the canvas/paper, so that she sees that you've really managed to see the real her, the one behind any dressing up or posing for pictures. can't get much more personal than that.

 

[Oliver]

Ooh, that's great advice! I hope I'm up to the task, though, I might be good at drawing but to portray her well just from memory... that's a challenge! Plan B is to take a sneak picture of her and draw from that, but maybe I'm not man enough to take that risk, haha.

Hard to pick a favorite pose, though. She's very expressive, so I can think of several right away. It's like she's made of energy sometimes. To see her flail her arms around and tip things off her desk trying to find the particular word she's looking for (after just returning from a 12 hour workday) never fails to put a smile on my face. Anyway, thanks a lot!

 

[Kalifornia310]

my favorite gifts were personal gifts, something with meaning.. something that was unique.

 

[Cheeeese]

One of the best gifts I ever received was super unexpected. My friend and I were in this Shakespearean play together in 6th grade (Midsummer Night's Dream... one of my favorites). 6 years later, he found a vinyl recording of the play at a record store, and knowing my love for classic vinyl, he bought it for me as a graduation present. I loved how personal it was; it demonstrated not only a knowledge of what I like, but also an attention to detail and a memory that we both shared.

I also love receiving letters, mixtapes, drawings (you're good to go on that one, Oliver :happy, that sort of thing. Journals are always a great option, especially if the person writes a little note (or, preferably, a loooong letter) in first few pages. And I know that it's really unoriginal and a known standby option, but I love getting flowers, simply because I love flowers.

Basically, as Enigma and Saccha said, keep it personal and unique. That's the golden ticket. :laughing:

 

[Mutatio NOmenis]

Get an ENFJ a kitten (or something really cute and sappy).

 

[Silvem]

Oh, haha! When I read the first lines, the first idea, which popped into my mind was a drawn portrait of her XD! I'd love to receive one. I received a drawing just recently and i've been looking at it every day - I'm not really used to gifts, probably thats why. I rarely value anything material.. A good word or a compliment sticks with me for a long time.. And as Enigma said, I also have a letter from a dear friend which I value.

 

[Miss Scarlet]

Personalization is something that my ENFJ and INFJ friends both really appreciate.

 

[Jojo]

I also love receiving letters, mixtapes, drawings (you're good to go on that one, Oliver :happy, that sort of thing. Journals are always a great option, especially if the person writes a little note (or, preferably, a loooong letter) in first few pages. And I know that it's really unoriginal and a known standby option, but I love getting flowers, simply because I love flowers.

Basically, as Enigma and Saccha said, keep it personal and unique. That's the golden ticket. :laughing:

I think you are the right track. Unique and personal. Mixtapes and drawings are good. I am big huge fan of picture DVD's set to personal songs. Anytime someone doe that for anybody I think its cool.

 

[Oliver]

Thanks a lot, guys! I'll draw the portrait soon and hope for the best. :laughing: Can't wait to see her reaction when she receives it.

I'll actually be meeting her tomorrow, so I will study her a bit closer in secrecy. If she starts to compliment me again - like telling me how nice I am, how happy she is for meeting me and how I always have a smile on my face when we talk - I will probably turn into mush.

 

[smiley]

I just wanted to agree with everyone- The portrait is a wonderful idea. She should love it. Good luck!:happy:

 

[ThatGuitarGuy]

So I have this birthday gift idea for an ENFJ girl I like.

Her favorite flower is an Amaryllis and I thought I would just get her something simple that ties in with that. I would actually buy the pot, the soil and seed and put it together for her, and water it for a few weeks and then give it to her for her birthday.

Along with that, I would make a card that would say "I thought I'd make you a cute card." It would have pictures of cute, baby animals likes puppies, kitties, ducks, etc. and a picture of me from when I was really little riding a tricycle in my overalls and wearing some oversized sunglasses (it's cute, and embarrassing). Either I'd put my picture on the cover, or on the inside. If it's on the inside, I'd put a cartoon bubble that would say "happy birthday!" on it.

Reaaalllly simple and not "overbearing" as we've only known each other a few months. As much as I'd like to go all out and do a bunch of nice things for her, I can't, lest I scare her away haha.

On top of that, I'd have my own plant that I'd water and take care of...come spring time or summer, she'd have another gift. One that I put time and work into myself for her.

What do you guys think? Yay, Nay? Any suggestions? Thank ya! :laughing:

 

[jenfj]

Absolutely the drawing

First, I would refuse any gift someone suggested to me in advance of the giving (e.g. "I'd like to give you a gift - what would you like?") though I love giving gifts and never feel at all odd if someone doesn't presume to give back. But I would accept a gift once given.

Second, the drawing is absolutely a perfect idea. Of course, you'll need to do it without involving her. Drawing her from memory is even more meaningful even if the picture comes out looking like the cross between a fairy and a bunny rabbit because that's how you perceive her.

 

[Puddinboots]

I agree with the painting as a gift since that is very personal and I can assure you that I love gifts that reflect someone's thought behind it. It says a lot to me when someone took the time to create something with their own hands and artistry.

Also, anything unique, i.e., trinkets from World Market, Target, vintage shops; try observing things she wears or seems to have a strong interest in or get to talking about art or places to travel just to see what she says. Trust me, whatever you get her, (so long as it's not an orange peeler), she'll enjoy it! Finally, the most important thing is that it comes from the heart :happy:

 

[Puddinboots]

So I have this birthday gift idea for an ENFJ girl I like.

Her favorite flower is an Amaryllis and I thought I would just get her something simple that ties in with that. I would actually buy the pot, the soil and seed and put it together for her, and water it for a few weeks and then give it to her for her birthday.

Along with that, I would make a card that would say "I thought I'd make you a cute card." It would have pictures of cute, baby animals likes puppies, kitties, ducks, etc. and a picture of me from when I was really little riding a tricycle in my overalls and wearing some oversized sunglasses (it's cute, and embarrassing). Either I'd put my picture on the cover, or on the inside. If it's on the inside, I'd put a cartoon bubble that would say "happy birthday!" on it.

Reaaalllly simple and not "overbearing" as we've only known each other a few months. As much as I'd like to go all out and do a bunch of nice things for her, I can't, lest I scare her away haha.

On top of that, I'd have my own plant that I'd water and take care of...come spring time or summer, she'd have another gift. One that I put time and work into myself for her.

What do you guys think? Yay, Nay? Any suggestions? Thank ya! :laughing:

Ohhh, I like the flower idea! Personally, I would love a gift like that and I like to think I have a green thumb. Plants are a gift that keep on giving! Simple and not overbearing is the safest way to go about things until you get to know each other better but that doesn't mean you can't give her anything sweet, cute or sentimental.

I also like your card idea since anything with old pictures of kids doing something silly makes me go "Awww!" Retro stuff like that always puts a smile on my face! However, the quirkiest card I ever got was from a friend that had a picture of a hot dog that read "Birthday's are like wieners..." but on the inside it said "Well, they're not like wieners, I just thought there should be more cards that say "wiener". And on the very bottom it read "Wiener! Wiener! Wiener!" Sure, it was odd but it made me laugh since it was just totally different but in a goofy way :crazy:

 

[Puddinboots]

First, I would refuse any gift someone suggested to me in advance of the giving (e.g. "I'd like to give you a gift - what would you like?") though I love giving gifts and never feel at all odd if someone doesn't presume to give back. But I would accept a gift once given.

Second, the drawing is absolutely a perfect idea. Of course, you'll need to do it without involving her. Drawing her from memory is even more meaningful even if the picture comes out looking like the cross between a fairy and a bunny rabbit because that's how you perceive her.

Cool, a fairy and bunny rabbit...for some reason that actually made me smile while envisioning pixie dust and fuzzy cotton tails. :happy:

 

[ThatGuitarGuy]

Ohhh, I like the flower idea! Personally, I would love a gift like that and I like to think I have a green thumb. Plants are a gift that keep on giving! Simple and not overbearing is the safest way to go about things until you get to know each other better but that doesn't mean you can't give her anything sweet, cute or sentimental.

I also like your card idea since anything with old pictures of kids doing something silly makes me go "Awww!" Retro stuff like that always puts a smile on my face! However, the quirkiest card I ever got was from a friend that had a picture of a hot dog that read "Birthday's are like wieners..." but on the inside it said "Well, they're not like wieners, I just thought there should be more cards that say "wiener". And on the very bottom it read "Wiener! Wiener! Wiener!" Sure, it was odd but it made me laugh since it was just totally different but in a goofy way :crazy:

Thanks for the feedback! I think INFJs and ENFJs have a lot of the same humor and stuff. The wiener idea for a card is hilarious. I would die laughing, especially if it's from an ENFJ. You ENFJs have a way of saying or doing things that are hilariously cute. :laughing:

 

[Puddinboots]

Thanks for the feedback! I think INFJs and ENFJs have a lot of the same humor and stuff. The wiener idea for a card is hilarious. I would die laughing, especially if it's from an ENFJ. You ENFJs have a way of saying or doing things that are hilariously cute. :laughing:

Thanks, I certainly try to give the best help I can! Btw, that avatar of your's cracks me up!!! I think another thing that captures my attention are pics like that since I'll remember them forever, LOL! If I got a card like that, I'd laugh till I cried! I think you're right about the INFJ and ENFJ humor aspect, too. I'm especially prone to goofy humor, the sillier the better!! :laughing: