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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Note: If this thread is in the wrong place or there is already one, by all means delete it.


This is all based on my own experiences, I suppose. The enneagram says that types sixes make a great match for type nines, but Briggs says that ENFJs make the best match for INFPs. This is where I get confused, because I have never met an ENFJ that is other than a type three, nine, or two. I have also never met a six that is other than an ISTP, ESTP, or INTP. My question is would the ultimate match be an ENFJ 6? How common is it for an ENFJ to be a six?

Maybe I'm wrong. I have caught myself mistaking many ESFJs for ENFJs. Maybe I have never met an ENFJ before? I am still a little shaky about that personality type. I am sure we all have one or two personalities that are not so easily typed for us. Either way, can I get a little in-depth background from you guys? Have you ever met an ENFJ type six and what was it like? Were you two together? Did it last? How do they dress!? Aren't ENFJs very stylish? The sixes I have met dressed fairly average, nothing too sharp and nothing too dull.

Here is some personal background from this nine-winged-one INFP: sixes are always very attractive to me. I almost always know when someone is a six. They're just my personal preference, which is weird because when I was still figuring out my type, I wanted to be one so badly. I secretly knew I wasn't a six, but I just really wanted to be one. Everything about the personality was just so attractive. Six-winged-sevens and their wild-sides have always caught my eye, especially when they're an ISTP. They never showed too much interest in me. I caught one once, and we would talk a lot, but I could never tell if it was just casual banter or something more. I caught an ISFJ six-winged-five. He'd never approach me though, he'd just shyly smile and glare. His friends would talk about me. I was too shy to talk to him. It pretty much ended where it never began. This is why I'm not sure how it would be relationship-wise. I guess a lack of communication would have been a problem.

I have had many friends (girls) that are ESFJ, only one best-friend ESFJ. They're usually twos or nines like me. I think I have confused a few ESFJs for ENFJs because they're both outgoing. To be honest, I am not quite sure I have ever met anyone who has fit into the description of an ENFJ though. I think there was this one boy who dated my friend that might've been an ENFJ. He was very clingy, not controlling. She was an ENFP 7w8, so the more he clung, the futher she tried to get away. I always saw her as torturing him in a way, but I have to take in consideration the personalities. I wouldn't want to be clung onto either, but at least I wouldn't do worse things to make him clingier. He was pleasant and always friendly and outgoing. I thought he might've been an ESFJ, but my friend ESFJs were never really clingy. That's probably the only almost certain ENFJ I have come across, the others are very iffy... Help?
 

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I'm not sure how enneagrams influence compatibility, but renember that the most important factor that will influence if the relationship works out is the presence of converging values, interests, knowledge, games as in things you both like to do in your free time. thanks @Yardiff Bey

Anyway, this might help you out nonetheless:

Study was Tieger and Baron-Tieger (2000). Results for marriage satisfaction in temperaments were:
SJ x SJ 79%
NF x NF 73%
SP x NT 73%
SJ x SP 71%
NT x NF 65%
NF x NT 64%
SP x SJ 63%
SJ x NT 62%
SP x SP 59%
NT x NT 59%
SJ x NF 58%
NT x SP 54%
SP x NF 54%
NT x SJ 52%
NF x SP 51%
NF x SJ 46%
 

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Boaz & Jachin
ENTJ · LIE · VLEF 8w7 · 836 · Sx/Sp
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Well according to the information Cold has presented:

INFP; best matches are: ENFJ, ENTJ, INFJ, INTJ, ENFP, ENTP, INTP, INFP (in that order, I presume)
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Yes, of course! You're completely right, values and interests matter the most. I was just wondering what a more analyzed black-and-white match would be for an INFP 9w1. Thanks so much for your response though! I am still unsure what an ENFJ is like. I've read a lot of sites about them, and it's just strange. I mix them up a lot with ESFJs, I guess. That's my problem. :) Thank you again.
 

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Type 6s are mostly correlated with XSTJ types

Yes, of course! You're completely right, values and interests matter the most. I was just wondering what a more analyzed black-and-white match would be for an INFP 9w1. Thanks so much for your response though! I am still unsure what an ENFJ is like. I've read a lot of sites about them, and it's just strange. I mix them up a lot with ESFJs, I guess. That's my problem. :) Thank you again.
I will never understand why ENFJ is being circulated around as the most compatible type with INFP. That's not right at all. In real life, it seems that XXFP types are most compatible with XXTJ types, and many places online note that as well. I think any XXTJ type is going to be far more complimentary to INFPs, than an Fe-dom. We value Te, not Fe. And XXTJ types are going to be strong where we are weak, and vice versa. Of course, that's not to say ENFJ and INFP can't work out. Sure, we all know anything can work out! ;) But if we're going strictly by theory, a Te type should be more compatible than an Fe type, especially an Fe-dom. In my own experience, that has proved to be true as well.

I actually think Socionics is the most accurate in terms of compatibility theories. According to Socionics, which divides the types up based off of cognitive functions, INFPs (or EII/INFj in Socionics) are part of the 'Delta' quadra and will be most compatible with other Deltas. That means ISTJ, ESTJ, ENFP, or other INFPs. XSTJ and XNFP types share all the same cognitive functions, but with complimentary strengths. They are also going to be likely to share the same values and have similar worldviews. In Socionics, ENFJ and INFP are not very compatible at all, and will struggle to understand each other, as they see the world in entirely different ways and have no functions in common.

As a fellow INFP type 9, I agree that sixes are highly attractive. And although sixes can be any type, it is most highly correlated with introverted sensing dominance, so they are most commonly ISTJ or ISFJ. You can find many studies about this correlation online.

So, combining Socionics and Enneagram theories, it seems an INFP 9w1 is going to be the most compatible with an XSTJ type 6, who is most likely going to be an ISTJ. ;)

I hope that makes sense! :)
 

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I will never understand why ENFJ is being circulated around as the most compatible type with INFP. That's not right at all. In real life, it seems that XXFP types are most compatible with XXTJ types, and many places online note that as well. I think any XXTJ type is going to be far more complimentary to INFPs, than an Fe-dom. We value Te, not Fe. And XXTJ types are going to be strong where we are weak, and vice versa. Of course, that's not to say ENFJ and INFP can't work out. Sure, we all know anything can work out! ;) But if we're going strictly by theory, a Te type should be more compatible than an Fe type, especially an Fe-dom. In my own experience, that has proved to be true as well.

I actually think Socionics is the most accurate in terms of compatibility theories. According to Socionics, which divides the types up based off of cognitive functions, INFPs (or EII/INFj in Socionics) are part of the 'Delta' quadra and will be most compatible with other Deltas. That means ISTJ, ESTJ, ENFP, or other INFPs. XSTJ and XNFP types share all the same cognitive functions, but with complimentary strengths. They are also going to be likely to share the same values and have similar worldviews. In Socionics, ENFJ and INFP are not very compatible at all, and will struggle to understand each other, as they see the world in entirely different ways and have no functions in common.

As a fellow INFP type 9, I agree that sixes are highly attractive. And although sixes can be any type, it is most highly correlated with introverted sensing dominance, so they are most commonly ISTJ or ISFJ. You can find many studies about this correlation online.

So, combining Socionics and Enneagram theories, it seems an INFP 9w1 is going to be the most compatible with an XSTJ type 6, who is most likely going to be an ISTJ. ;)

I hope that makes sense! :)
I just answered a similar question on another thread based on my own experience in interacting with the different types, rather than Socionics or other theories of type compatibility (of which I know very little), and came to startlingly similar conclusions:

"I do think it has more to do with the person than with the type. However, I usually get on better with TJs and TPs in long-term relationships (as co-workers and friends as well) than with other NFs. My husband of over 20 years is probably an ISTJ. We have the same cognitive functions but in a different order, so we may emphasize different things in the way we go about our daily lives, but we have a good understanding of each other's needs and feelings as well as a respect for each other's strong points.

The NF type I get on best with is probably ENFP. I have a pretty good friend who I think is an ENFP and we always have lots to talk about and understand each other well. She's sort of manic, however, and after spending a few hours with her I feel like I'm staggering off some theme park ride with my head spinning.

I find some high Fe types a bit too dramatic, and I also feel like I'm walking on eggshells around them. There are too many layers to the conversation and too much reading and misreading of each other's signals. It's like traversing a minefield every time I need to get a simple answer on something. I have a few co-workers like this, and I definitely wouldn't want to deal with it in a romantic relationship.

Again, it also depends on a lot of other issues such as chemistry, personal values and how you express and want to receive love. Type is only a small part of the equation."
http://personalitycafe.com/nfs-temp...type-most-romantically-compatible-infp-3.html

It seems weird to quote myself but I don't know how to post a link. Anyway, I thought your analysis was absolutely spot on. I think I'm also a Type 9, although I'm not very familiar with the Enneagram stuff either.
 
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