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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Seriously. If you were sitting down one day, having a normal conversation, and all of a sudden you hear "I just don't like Asian people"?

This happened to me once (A guy I was only dating, not in a relationship with), and I immediately lost my shit.

I was dating a guy that made a suspicious comment about -of all things- Nazi's, and after grilling him I found out that he's not a fan of some Jews, and most east Asians. I dumped him immediately, after getting a few good laughs in about the entire scenario.

I mean, who hates Asian people? It was just so foreign to me.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? (Especially if you're ethnic/brown/non-white)
 
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it depends on their perspective and whether their bias has any scientific foundation.
 

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Depends how racist we're talking about, because honestly everyone is a little racist. One of my ex boyfriends occasionally made rude comments about how "black people are always ___" which really pissed me off, but when I corrected him he eventually stopped doing it. That was pushing my boundaries but I could live with it for a while because he didn't actually have any issues with other races, just obnoxious little stereotypes. It was one of the factors which contributed to me breaking up with him later, because I didn't think he was very bright.

Anything beyond that would be an instant break-up though. If I found out my partner would never date outside their race (that ex had actually dated a black girl, surprisingly), or if I found out they had strong racial prejudices, etc., we would not work out. I'm of Jewish heritage anyway, so anti-semitic would be a problem haha. One guy friend of mine was hitting on me, and I told him I was currently seeing a Jamaican guy. He responded with, "Oh. So you're into black guys?" Haven't talked to said person since. If you think someone has to be a fetishist to date outside their race, you're warped in the head.
 

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Good question. It would depend on how racist they were, which groups they were against, and how it impacted their relationship with me. My friends and family make racist jokes and comments occasionally, but usually not around the group being discussed, and since I'm surrounded by all sorts of groups, they'd have to keep it down around them, too.

I used to be "don't date outside my race", so obviously, one of those types isn't going to be an issue, unless we're from the same group. It would be cool if they were open-minded enough to learn a thing or two regarding my own culture, and I'd try to do the same for them.

Who hates Asian people? Usually other Asian people. :p
 

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Some people are openly racist, some are very quiet about it

Seriously. If you were sitting down one day, having a normal conversation, and all of a sudden you hear "I just don't like Asian people"?
ExGF did it. She said a mean thing about indigenous people, it was a mean joke, I laughed (sure noticed what was going on) so I added "sure they are terrible, if we could just wipe them from the country, right?". I'm intj, we love dark humor but that wasn't a joke, I asked a question.

She showed relief (due to my expression) and went on a rage on "those" people being the source of many problems, that the country would be better off without them, they are easy to hate (and a lot of negative things). I was disappointed... said nothing. Then every time I saw indigenous people nearby I said sarcastic and mean stuff to my ex about her being superior and them being inferior, that her skin got irritated just by having them near. Won't explain the long list of words, just trust me I punished her and sometimes focused on some of her errors every time she said something negative about them until she stopped.

We broke up for several other reasons. I honestly have NOTHING against any race, her comments were mean as if she was superior... so I dedicated some time to make her remember the many words in spanish (our native language) she can't pronounce, the words in english she can't even understand and many times about the lyrics of songs we like (english) but she understand very little. So much for her superiority... being human, she forgot about it.
 

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that's always such a damn shame. if it was just disgustingly racist, i'd break up with them. if it was one of those genuinely unintentional moments of racism (cultural appropriation, microaggression, etc) i would explain to them that what they said was racist, and gauge their reaction to figure out whether the relationship would last. reacting positively and with an open mind vs. getting defensive and angry can say a LOT about a person.
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Depends how racist we're talking about, because honestly everyone is a little racist. One of my ex boyfriends occasionally made rude comments about how "black people are always ___" which really pissed me off, but when I corrected him he eventually stopped doing it. That was pushing my boundaries but I could live with it for a while because he didn't actually have any issues with other races, just obnoxious little stereotypes. It was one of the factors which contributed to me breaking up with him later, because I didn't think he was very bright.

Anything beyond that would be an instant break-up though. If I found out my partner would never date outside their race (that ex had actually dated a black girl, surprisingly), or if I found out they had strong racial prejudices, etc., we would not work out. I'm of Jewish heritage anyway, so anti-semitic would be a problem haha. One guy friend of mine was hitting on me, and I told him I was currently seeing a Jamaican guy. He responded with, "Oh. So you're into black guys?" Haven't talked to said person since. If you think someone has to be a fetishist to date outside their race, you're warped in the head.

This seems to be very common of white (Even Jewish) people.

I personally refuse to date any [American] men that are racist in any way. I exclude some Europeans, because they aren't really aware of what race relations are like in America, and are often not hip to our definition of "racism" in modern society.

But, I find that white people - since it's rare that anyone is racist towards you guys - are often less-inclined to cut a guy or girl off if they make a "all black people do X" comment.

And honestly, I don't date those types of white people. If you're OK with dating someone that is clearly ignorant, misinformed, and offensive, I'm not interested, and have no issues with judging people by the company they keep.

I find it incredibly odd that you had no issues with the man you were dating making racially-charged comments, yet never spoke to a guy again because he brought attention to the fact that you were dating a black guy. That's certainly telling of your character.

And, I don't think everyone is a "little" racist.

There's a big difference between making a racial comment, and making a racist comment.

A racial remark can hold truth, but a racist one cannot.

No one race is superior -in ALL realms- than another.

Because it all comes down to what's on the surface.
 

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I absolutely hate it and cannot stand it. My ex had racist tendencies towards black people. It's one of the reasons I left him. He just would never admit he was wrong and that his opinions were nasty. Though he was totally in the closet about it all and never acted on any of it. It was just little comments he would say once in awhile. I was probably the only person besides his brother that knew about those opinions.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Some people are openly racist, some are very quiet about it


ExGF did it. She said a mean thing about indigenous people, it was a mean joke, I laughed (sure noticed what was going on) so I added "sure they are terrible, if we could just wipe them from the country, right?". I'm intj, we love dark humor but that wasn't a joke, I asked a question.

She showed relief (due to my expression) and went on a rage on "those" people being the source of many problems, that the country would be better off without them, they are easy to hate (and a lot of negative things). I was disappointed... said nothing. Then every time I saw indigenous people nearby I said sarcastic and mean stuff to my ex about her being superior and them being inferior, that her skin got irritated just by having them near. Won't explain the long list of words, just trust me I punished her and sometimes focused on some of her errors every time she said something negative about them until she stopped.

We broke up for several other reasons. I honestly have NOTHING against any race, her comments were mean as if she was superior... so I dedicated some time to make her remember the many words in spanish (our native language) she can't pronounce, the words in english she can't even understand and many times about the lyrics of songs we like (english) but she understand very little. So much for her superiority... being human, she forgot about it.


You sir are a role model

Being that I have native blood in me, there's a special place in the hell that exists in my own mind for people that say shit like that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·

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This seems to be very common of white (Even Jewish) people.

I personally refuse to date any [American] men that are racist in any way. I exclude some Europeans, because they aren't really aware of what race relations are like in America, and are often not hip to our definition of "racism" in modern society.

But, I find that white people - since it's rare that anyone is racist towards you guys - are often less-inclined to cut a guy or girl off if they make a "all black people do X" comment.

And honestly, I don't date those types of white people. If you're OK with dating someone that is clearly ignorant, misinformed, and offensive, I'm not interested, and have no issues with judging people by the company they keep.

I find it incredibly odd that you had no issues with the man you were dating making racially-charged comments, yet never spoke to a guy again because he brought attention to the fact that you were dating a black guy. That's certainly telling of your character.

And, I don't think everyone is a "little" racist.

There's a big difference between making a racial comment, and making a racist comment.

A racial remark can hold truth, but a racist one cannot.

No one race is superior -in ALL realms- than another.

Because it all comes down to what's on the surface.
There's a difference between stereotyping someone due to their race, versus labeling them as just a fetish. It's not like my ex ever said "I hate black people" or "black people are all drug dealers" or anything. He would say things like, "Uhg, black people always walk so slowly!" or "Indian people all smell gross" or "Hispanic girls are so slutty." And he was also into the stereotype of white people being bad at dancing and rapping. Although it bothered me immensely, that to me says something completely different than saying "Oh, you're into that" about a human being. Labeling someone so far "other" that dating them becomes a big deal or a fetish is a stronger statement to me than judging someone by a stereotype.

I think you're either misinterpreting what I'm saying, or taking it personally. But either way, I never liked you so I really don't care what you think of me or my choice in friends.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
There's a difference between stereotyping someone due to their race, versus labeling them as just a fetish. It's not like my ex ever said "I hate black people" or "black people are all drug dealers" or anything. He would say things like, "Uhg, black people always walk so slowly!" or "Indian people all smell gross" or "Hispanic girls are so slutty." And he was also into the stereotype of white people being bad at dancing and rapping. Although it bothered me immensely, that to me says something completely different than saying "Oh, you're into that" about a human being. Labeling someone so far "other" that dating them becomes a big deal or a fetish is a stronger statement to me than judging someone by a stereotype.

I think you're either misinterpreting what I'm saying, or taking it personally. But either way, I never liked you so I really don't care what you think of me or my choice in friends.

Some people dont understand that there is an ending to the "Black people are always doing x" comments.

Typically, it's "Black people are always doing X, thus they are inferior"

This is why stereotypes are so damaging. Black people don't hate stereotypes because we desperately dont want people to know what we 'love fried chicken', we detest stereotypes because they allow people to make character judgement about us, based solely on a random, unrelated common behavior.

And, that goes for any race of people that aren't white.

I think before you begin knocking a guy for stating a true fact posed as a question (Obvious if you're dating a black guy...you like black guys), you need to first dissect the intentions of your ex that was "a little" racist.

But, I see you're going to take your white female privilege, and shove it all the way through this thread.

So, please, continue to make a fool out of yourself - I'm enjoying it.
 

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Absolutely does not jive with me. Racism is indicative of a terribly closed mind, and that's no fun. The fact that the person took the effort to voice their negative opinions about a race in public without considering the other side shows a devotion to idiocy.

People who vocalize their racism tend to have heavy negative biases on other things too. Curly haired people are always stinky, professors are always unfair, people with big feet can't drive. It's a method of dealing with things that are uncomfortable in an illogical way.

Can be amusing, but shouldn't be taken seriously.
 

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Some people dont understand that there is an ending to the "Black people are always doing x" comments.

Typically, it's "Black people are always doing X, thus they are inferior"

This is why stereotypes are so damaging. Black people don't hate stereotypes because we desperately dont want people to know what we 'love fried chicken', we detest stereotypes because they allow people to make character judgement about us, based solely on a random, unrelated common behavior.

And, that goes for any race of people that aren't white.

I think before you begin knocking a guy for stating a true fact posed as a question (Obvious if you're dating a black guy...you like black guys), you need to first dissect the intentions of your ex that was "a little" racist.

But, I see you're going to take your white female privilege, and shove it all the way through this thread.

So, please, continue to make a fool out of yourself - I'm enjoying it.
The fact that you felt the need to pull the "white privilege" card on me simply for who I've chosen to date speaks volumes. Don't project your own inability to find a woman on me and other white chicks. Hint: It's because you're an asshole, not because you're black.

P.s. This is why the only black guy I've been with was British. Because Europeans don't expect to use their race to get away with every little thing including sexism. Black American dudes can be such dicks toward white people in general, and then they wonder why we don't want to have sex with them. You can't just go around telling me how "privileged" I am and how much you hate white people and how oppressed you feel, and expect me to find you attractive. Oh, and yes I just made another blanket stereotype. Are you mad? Do you not want to date me now? Great, then stop responding to my posts and go find another white chick to hate on. Or better yet, stop whining about racism and go do something about it.
 

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People are -ist of some kind or another. The trick is finding the -ist that bothers you the least. Honestly I've never met anyone who didn't have some shit that royally stank.
 

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Simmering and seething with hatred racism? Or unpolitically correct racism? The latter might be looked over while the former would be a total deal breaker.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
The fact that you felt the need to pull the "white privilege" card on me simply for who I've chosen to date speaks volumes. Don't project your own inability to find a woman on me and other white chicks. Hint: It's because you're an asshole, not because you're black.

P.s. This is why the only black guy I've been with was British. Because Europeans don't expect to use their race to get away with every little thing including sexism. Black American dudes can be such dicks toward white people in general, and then they wonder why we don't want to have sex with them. You can't just go around telling me how "privileged" I am and how much you hate white people and how oppressed you feel, and expect me to find you attractive. Oh, and yes I just made another blanket stereotype. Are you mad? Do you not want to date me now? Great, then stop responding to my posts and go find another white chick to hate on. Or better yet, stop whining about racism and go do something about it.

This is how I know you didn't read the OP.

I date men, love. I date white men, middle eastern men, Indian men. Brazilian men.

I love men, just not the racist ones. But I find your pathetic attempt to make sense of my disposition quite hilarious.

Ps. Im not a black guy, and I dont date them.
 
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Absolutely does not jive with me. Racism is indicative of a terribly closed mind, and that's no fun. The fact that the person took the effort to voice their negative opinions about a race in public without considering the other side shows a devotion to idiocy.

People who vocalize their racism tend to have heavy negative biases on other things too. Curly haired people are always stinky, professors are always unfair, people with big feet can't drive. It's a method of dealing with things that are uncomfortable in an illogical way.

Can be amusing, but shouldn't be taken seriously.


Nailed it.
 
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