Personality Cafe banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,849 Posts
revamp you Facebook and put a picture of a gorgeous bikini model there that looks sort of like you (fotos taken from distance are especially hard to tell) and then send him a request again with some sort of compliments about how awesome he is - and once he adds you, you can switch the photos back :crazy:

Well as I understand he is using his Facebook is to promote his social life, not enrich his intellectual life. And I think you expect him to be doing the later. But Facebook is really not a great tool for the later. One of the guys I know plainly calls it "Fuckbook" because he said that people he graduated with all used it to hook up with each other, start relationships and sleep around. Sounds like what your prof is doing!

I don't understand where the problem is though. He hasn't written you a recommendation letter yet? Can you drop by his office or simply email him or call him? Guy sounds a bit airheaded and irresponsible. I don't think Facebook is best way to get in touch with him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,869 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
haha, vel, you're too quick! i edited the post, but i just saw your reply. :p I guess you're right... he's using his facebook to promote his social life, but it still irks me that he told us to add him, and cherry picked some people. as for the letter, i didn't ask him yet, i was planning on going in person in the fall, but now it's so... awkward.

and won't it be weird if i send him a second facebook request?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,474 Posts
Vel's response makes me more curious the OP..........yes Vel is a quick one indeed
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
189 Posts
That seem very unprofessional on the part of the professor. lol I have this one professor in my Anthropology dept that did not how to scroll down a webpage last semester... haha.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,869 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
i feel like people may need some explanations here hahaha. so basically i know a professor whom i've taken several classes with, and most recently a research class (7 people). I really respected this professor and perceived him as someone intelligent, sincere and passionate about our mutual research topic. anyway, after class was over and after grades were up, he emailed us to add him on facebook, but he only added the "gorgeous girls," so I got irritated. I wasn't one of the "gorgeous" ones... he basically uses his facebook as a way to pick up hot girls..... and I feel a bit annoyed because he added my classmates, but not me...

now i'm not sure if i should ask him for the letter.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,849 Posts
haha, vel, you're too quick! i edited the post, but i just saw your reply. :p I guess you're right... he's using his facebook to promote his social life, but it still irks me that he told us to add him, and cherry picked some people. as for the letter, i didn't ask him yet, i was planning on going in person in the fall, but now it's so... awkward.

and won't it be weird if i send him a second facebook request?
well if you talked to him several times and perhaps did work for him in a research group then it is not awkward for you to ask for a recommendation letter - feels awkward, but you know what, some of those "gorgeous" girls are going to demand one from him and not even blink or have second thoughts or uncomfortable feelings about it, and you are not any worse than them

the facebook thing i agree is annoying that he asked all of you to add him then cherry picked people, but if you need that recommendation letter it is really best to drop by his office or write him an email as it is a serious business kind of thing that should not be handled over FB ... that he decided not to make you and some other people part of his social life, oh well, whatever floats his boat, i don't think you'll ever know why, to me he really sounds like one of those emotionally underdeveloped people that achieve success in their careers but their emotional maturity is lagging something like 15-20 years behind
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,869 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
yeah, you're right (again). =) I shouldn't feel awkward. I was planning on going by his office when he was back in school anyway so I guess I'll go then.

I guess I got my hopes up with facebook... all of my newly graduated friends and I got really excited about this. We thought "oh this must be one of those privileges of graduating -- your professors invite you into their social lives and you become more 'equals' in the academic world." and a lot of idealistic stuff about getting to know our professors more, developing deeper professional (and more casual) relationships, networking and all that stuff. BOO. my idealistic world has again been waken up by reality. again.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,849 Posts
yeah, you're right (again). =) I shouldn't feel awkward. I was planning on going by his office when he was back in school anyway so I guess I'll go then.

I guess I got my hopes up with facebook... all of my newly graduated friends and I got really excited about this. We thought "oh this must be one of those privileges of graduating -- your professors invite you into their social lives and you become more 'equals' in the academic world." and a lot of idealistic stuff about getting to know our professors more, developing deeper professional (and more casual) relationships, networking and all that stuff. BOO. my idealistic world has again been waken up by reality. again.
I would actually consider that sort of behavior to be a deviation from the standard. I went to a big university though, so perhaps it is an effect of size. Our professors kept their personal lives and professional lives separate. I was part of a research group for a couple of years and max our prof did was have some group get together events with us every couple of months, like going to a park making bbq and playing volleyball or soccer. And this was the norm across most other groups as well.

When I got a job as a TA, in TA training we were warned to keep our interaction with students strictly professional and not get very friendly with them because then our grading would be biased. That school actually had a policy tha profs and TAs cannot date their students out of fear of sexual harassment lawsuits. So what your prof is doing was really an exception in my school rather than standard behavior. Way I have seen most people interact with their advisors past graduation is write them an email may be every half a year to ask advice about their career advancement, whether they thought some project X was worth undertaking, or to request another recommendation letter. Stuff like that.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top