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Discussion Starter #1
This is a question about your morals an ethics.
I ask this because I was involved in a scenario like this.

Imagine your close, maybe even best friend was cheating on their long term partner. We'll call her X.
That you found out about it somehow. Maybe they told you.
Their long term partner was also a good friend of yours. We'll call him Z.

If you could see Z was being badly affected by this. Expressing signs of severe depression and clearly in pain about this.
If Z then came too you, asked for your help and said they think X is cheating on them. That they have spoken to X and X denied it.

What would you do?
Would you tell Z the truth?
 

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Goal: get them broken up while sparing as much pain as possible.

Actions: depends on what I think will work, everyone is different. I would probably ask the guy, what if she was cheating on you? And then go from there.
 

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That person won't be much longer my best friend.


I will help and comfort Z.
 

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Yes, I would tell them if they had asked me. And then I'd admit to my best friend that I told Z the truth as soon as possible out of respect to them and the fact that they trusted me.

It just comes down to the fact that if someone else is suffering and I have a way to somehow alleviate the situation, I'd have to do what I can - even if it means losing the best friend who trusted me.

Of course this is all easier said than done, and I'm sure I'd go back and forth in my mind a lot more if this were a real situation and my actual best friend. But ultimately, I think this is what I would do.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thankyou for your replies guys!
I re-posted this in the INFJ section...because im techno-lame and couldnt move it....
Happy to see you feel the same way I do about this!
 

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This is a question about your morals an ethics.
I ask this because I was involved in a scenario like this.

Imagine your close, maybe even best friend was cheating on their long term partner. We'll call her X.
That you found out about it somehow. Maybe they told you.
Their long term partner was also a good friend of yours. We'll call him Z.

If you could see Z was being badly affected by this. Expressing signs of severe depression and clearly in pain about this.
If Z then came too you, asked for your help and said they think X is cheating on them. That they have spoken to X and X denied it.

What would you do?
Would you tell Z the truth?
In this exact scenario where Z is at my house telling me this, the way I'd handle it is to ask: "Why do you think they are cheating?" He'll say 1, 2, 3. I'd agree, "That does sound like she is cheating, plus I will add to what you are saying because 1, 2, 3. What are you going to do?" That's just the way I'd do it so that he feels I'm thinking WITH him instead of just dumping the info and not inviting talk. He shouldn't feel the burden of this alone.
Before this ever happened if X was confiding in me then she definitely thinks I am a different person than I am. I'd say, "You tell Z or else I'll tell him. You want to be a certain way-- fine-- but you're not hurting Z any longer. Why are you doing it this way?" Of course she's getting some kick out of it on some level. She gets mad at me? Good, makes it easier to get rid of her in my life.
What if it's not like that? What if it's very complicated. (Sounds like it wasn't, though-- just her deciding to "have fun" on a power trip). But what if Z had actually not been able to give X what she needs or something and had said so... what then....? Then work towards honesty and helping both of them.
 

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Yeah, I'd tell Z what X did. He needs to know the truth so he can make a decision, and I'm not on anyone's "side" in the matter—just a facilitator if I have to be. It would be hard to see his reaction to it though. It could be a steady, knowing expression, or it could be absolute devastation.

Next time I saw X, I would talk to her about this whole situation, why she was cheating on him in the first place. I'd tell her to stop seeing this other person and fix things with Z, or leave Z. But she needs to pause her life and take time to think about what she wants and what kind of person she wants to be. She needs to choose a path or step out of the way.

I'd feel heartbroken for each of them, and I probably would have seen this coming long ago. My goal would be to help restore peace and happiness in each of their lives, whether they are together or apart. Although the way I am, I would strongly support them breaking up; I have an exit door philosophy, I suppose. Unless they were married, and then I would support them working through the problems and finding counsellors and all that. All in all, it's a lot easier since there aren't children in the picture...
 
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