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The general consensus throughout these forums appears to strongly favor the view that INTJs and ENFPs are an ideal match. Why? What is the appeal? Are there any advocates in this forum who have personal experience with such a relationship, or protesters? People who could attest to its validity? I understand on paper how it could be a compatible match, but I'm skeptical and would like to hear your anecdotes. I don't believe I have ever dated one (I think I've only been with sensors and one INFP). I'm curious. Also, I apologize if this is beating a dead horse, I'm new to MBTI. Thanks folks. :)
 

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I think when the connection is good, its the best ever.

In general, your folk are like large red "?"s to me and that's what keeps things interesting... provided you are not a prick or a stiff ^.^
 

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When somebody intrigues me, I've got to know more. You INTJs are so interesting and complex, which is why I am drawn to that personality type. As well as INFJs.

As a general rule, ENFPs are drawn like a magnet to people who "catch their eye" so to speak. Once they find that person, they've just got to figure them out. They're genuinely interested in you, your point of view, everything. And for whatever reason, INTJs seem to be the most intriguing. Why INTJs like us, I don't know. But apparently they do, which makes me happy. ^^
 

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The general consensus throughout these forums appears to strongly favor the view that INTJs and ENFPs are an ideal match. Why? What is the appeal? Are there any advocates in this forum who have personal experience with such a relationship, or protesters? People who could attest to its validity? I understand on paper how it could be a compatible match, but I'm skeptical and would like to hear your anecdotes. I don't believe I have ever dated one (I think I've only been with sensors and one INFP). I'm curious. Also, I apologize if this is beating a dead horse, I'm new to MBTI. Thanks folks. :)
Honestly, I try as hard as I can to not pay attention to any of that "ideal match" stuff. The reason is that I don't want it to 'taint' my judgement of others. I know that sounds silly, but reading something like, "ENFPs and x type are ideal matches" or "ENFPs and x type are bad matches" can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies. If an ENFP reads an article about how well they match with INTJs, for example, when they meet someone who they type as an INTJ they may remember what they read and subconsciously think, "Hey, ENFPs and INTJs make great partners." That belief could then lead them to act in ways that lead to the formation of a relationship. On the other hand, if said ENFP classifies someone as an incompatible type they may act in ways that have the opposite effect.

If I ever find myself attracted to somebody, I want it to be because I genuinely like THEM; not because I have a preconceived notion that I'm supposed to like people of that type. I also want to avoid sabotaging potential relationships because some article told me I'm incompatible with certain MBTI types.
 

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I agree. I don't think I know an INTJ (well not that I've identifyed anyway).

I think most ENFPs need someone who isn't sensitive. We are very sensitive. And I think INTJ is one of the most non-feeling based personalities.
 

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I think most ENFPs need someone who isn't sensitive. We are very sensitive. And I think INTJ is one of the most non-feeling based personalities.
I don't know about that. If that were true, all the hype would be about "ENFP + ESTJ/ENTJ/ISTP/INTP" couples.

From what I gather, with an INTJ, the Fi is very much there but it takes a bit of time, patience, and trust to get to it.

(Which isn't to say that Fi/Fe aren't present in ESTJs, ENTJs, ISTPs, or INTPs. But if the theory is right, it's buried deeper.)
 

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ENFPs are just the best is all. Simple facts. Can always count on an ENFP to brighten your day, and to just generally be awesome and adorable :).
 

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ENFPs are just the best is all. Simple facts. Can always count on an ENFP to brighten your day, and to just generally be awesome and adorable :).
I'm taking this off-topic for a bit, but I think I'd say the same about your personality. Being able to brighten someone's day is a wonderful feeling, but school (which is tailored to Thinking and Judging types) is a bit of a nuissance, especially if the subject is really easy. I think the thing I like about INTJ is that they are still intuitive, but they have the Thinking and judging that evey ENFP wants.
 

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I'm taking this off-topic for a bit, but I think I'd say the same about your personality. Being able to brighten someone's day is a wonderful feeling, but school (which is tailored to Thinking and Judging types) is a bit of a nuissance, especially if the subject is really easy. I think the thing I like about INTJ is that they are still intuitive, but they have the Thinking and judging that evey ENFP wants.
I'm always delighted to make ENFPs smile :). This mutual ability to make each other happy along with the love and respect for what makes the other person so fun and quirky is a great part of what makes me believe that I will someday end up with an ENFP :).
 

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Relationships with an INTJ is simple. We both lead with an intuitive function Ni-Ne. We both use Te, Fi, so its quite easy for an ENFP to connect with an INTJ. Sharing these funtions makes it easier to understand the other and see what angles we're both coming from.

With that being said it really takes the right ENFP/INTJ to " get " each other. Both need patients and motivation in order to get passed misunderstandings. Once we can get passed the differences, it flows so easy and naturally. Click, connect.
 

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The general consensus throughout these forums appears to strongly favor the view that INTJs and ENFPs are an ideal match. Why? What is the appeal? Are there any advocates in this forum who have personal experience with such a relationship, or protesters? People who could attest to its validity? I understand on paper how it could be a compatible match, but I'm skeptical and would like to hear your anecdotes. I don't believe I have ever dated one (I think I've only been with sensors and one INFP). I'm curious. Also, I apologize if this is beating a dead horse, I'm new to MBTI. Thanks folks. :)
I like INTJ's. I also hate them. It's hard to put a finger on which is the predominant. They seem to be attracted to me, and I appreciate that, but it seems that, for me, they never bring good. I enjoy your company, but you guys get seriously lost when I talk about my feelings, and INFJ's don't, so I tend to favor them.
 

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Discussion Starter #14 (Edited)
Honestly, I try as hard as I can to not pay attention to any of that "ideal match" stuff. The reason is that I don't want it to 'taint' my judgement of others. I know that sounds silly, but reading something like, "ENFPs and x type are ideal matches" or "ENFPs and x type are bad matches" can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies. If an ENFP reads an article about how well they match with INTJs, for example, when they meet someone who they type as an INTJ they may remember what they read and subconsciously think, "Hey, ENFPs and INTJs make great partners." That belief could then lead them to act in ways that lead to the formation of a relationship. On the other hand, if said ENFP classifies someone as an incompatible type they may act in ways that have the opposite effect.

If I ever find myself attracted to somebody, I want it to be because I genuinely like THEM; not because I have a preconceived notion that I'm supposed to like people of that type. I also want to avoid sabotaging potential relationships because some article told me I'm incompatible with certain MBTI types.
I agree with your argument. It is definitely conceivable that a person could take information like this and make it "true" by employing actions and behaviors they otherwise would not have performed had they not known about MBTI. Whether such an event would be a bad thing however, I'm not entirely sure of (if such information were to bring a relationship to fruition) as the INTJ/ENFP match may be the most ideal pairing for each type. My question that still stands is this. All other factors being equal (physical attractiveness, agreeableness, etc.), would an ENFP/INTJ relationship truly be ideal? I know one single person alone could not likely answer this, so I'd like to pool information to see if I can eventually draw a personal conclusion (most likely a tenuous one, but this is still all very interesting to me anyway). I'm enjoying all of your posts, Julia Bell's especially.

Why INTJs like us, I don't know. But apparently they do, which makes me happy. ^^
My two closest friends turned me onto this MBTI business recently, an ENFP and ENFJ. I have to admit I love them both tremendously. You ENFPs and ENFJs (at least from my personal experience) have a spontaneity, creative humor and genuine warmth that is as galvanizing as it is mentally stimulating. It is a real treat to have them in my life (although sometimes they do just need to shut up). :)
 

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The general consensus throughout these forums appears to strongly favor the view that INTJs and ENFPs are an ideal match. Why? What is the appeal? Are there any advocates in this forum who have personal experience with such a relationship, or protesters? People who could attest to its validity? I understand on paper how it could be a compatible match, but I'm skeptical and would like to hear your anecdotes. I don't believe I have ever dated one (I think I've only been with sensors and one INFP). I'm curious. Also, I apologize if this is beating a dead horse, I'm new to MBTI. Thanks folks. :)
I like INTJ's. I also hate them. It's hard to put a finger on which is the predominant. They seem to be attracted to me, and I appreciate that, but it seems that, for me, they never bring good. I enjoy your company, but you guys get seriously lost when I talk about my feelings, and INFJ's don't, so I tend to favor them.

Also, I just got out of a year long relationship with one, and it surprised me how easily and quickly her feelings for me disappeared. We were a great couple for awhile, but we hit a hard patch and she broke up with me.
 

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I agree. I don't think I know an INTJ (well not that I've identifyed anyway).

I think most ENFPs need someone who isn't sensitive. We are very sensitive. And I think INTJ is one of the most non-feeling based personalities.
I'm not sure if that is entirely true. I think INTJs are just particularly adept at concealing their emotions and prioritize doing so. Admittedly, when I am alone and have recently been affected in some way, I can experience very powerful emotions (that I barely understand in most cases and quickly bury). Only a select few (if anyone) would ever now about it however, as I go to great lengths to conceal them from unwanted eyes. That being said, I also have a great capacity of caring for the individuals whom I feel are deserving of the attention (close friends and girlfriends). Although, I will rarely express the sentiments that I have for them verbally, which may mislead some into thinking me to be cold and uncaring.
I guess INTJs just assume people will know how much we care about them strictly based on the amount of attention we devote towards them. If we listen to you a lot, allow you to interrupt our privacy and go out of our way to socialize with you often (god-forbid), then it's safe to assume we really like you and probably care for you a good deal (even if we're reluctant to put it into words).
INTJs are action people I think. We convey meaning and affection through what we choose to do, not say. At least this is primarily how I operate.
Not that you probably cared about any of this. I just didn't want you, or anyone else who may read this, to truly think that INTJs are nothing but the emotionless vessels that we appear to be.
 

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INTJs are fabulous!

I realise that there are the healthy and the unhealthy within all types; fortunately, I have been lucky enough to get to know some very lovely INTJs. I was also initially intrigued (and highly skeptical) by the huge fuss made about the so-called 'ideal' pairing between ENFPs & INTJs.

While I would never date based on MBTI type, I think it has definitely helped me to understand what it is I am really looking for in a relationship. A lot of this comes down to personal preference really, regardless of 'type.' The reason why I feel that looking at type has helped me is because of a string of very bad relationships that had left me feeling like I never wanted to date again. In hindsight, I think part of the problem was my own inability to recognoise what it was I wanted in a partner, and the realision that I really need someone to 'balance me' (which is why I consider the INTJ type to be very good match for myself)

Having got to know and intereact with some INTJs has been wonderful! The most surprising thing of all was the connection between us- it really is quite mindblowing! Also, despite the stereotypes, my INTJ friends have been some of the most patient, kind, understanding, and caring people when I have felt very emotionally vulnerable and fragile.

Everyone is different though- it's more about discovering what is best for you as an individual, than it is about 'type'
 

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My question that still stands is this. All other factors being equal (physical attractiveness, agreeableness, etc.), would an ENFP/INTJ relationship truly be ideal? I know one single person alone could not likely answer this, so I'd like to pool information to see if I can eventually draw a personal conclusion (most likely a tenuous one, but this is still all very interesting to me anyway). I'm enjoying all of your posts, Julia Bell's especially.
I too am uncertain as to why ENFP/INTJ relationships are considered ideal. First of all, I have no idea what an "ideal" relationship is. I have never seen an official, scientific definition of what constitutes an ideal relationship. In fact, I don't think that's even possible. It is a subjective term, since what two people consider to be ideal may be very different. This is even more true when it comes to relationships, since everyone has slightly different preferences when it comes to partners. I feel like whoever came up with the ideal match stuff took an already murky concept and made it even more confusing by slapping MBTI, which is completely theoretical, onto it. I'm not saying ENFPs and INTJs don't make good partners, I just don't like it when people say that's the 'ideal' scenario for me. My definition of ideal may be different than theirs, and it's important to remember that MBTI and its subcategories aren't scientific fact.

Oh dear, I'm thinking too much. Bad ENFP, you're supposed to smile and chase butterflies! :p
 

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I too am uncertain as to why ENFP/INTJ relationships are considered ideal. First of all, I have no idea what an "ideal" relationship is. I have never seen an official, scientific definition of what constitutes an ideal relationship. In fact, I don't think that's even possible. It is a subjective term, since what two people consider to be ideal may be very different. This is even more true when it comes to relationships, since everyone has slightly different preferences when it comes to partners. I feel like whoever came up with the ideal match stuff took an already murky concept and made it even more confusing by slapping MBTI, which is completely theoretical, onto it. I'm not saying ENFPs and INTJs don't make good partners, I just don't like it when people say that's the 'ideal' scenario for me. My definition of ideal may be different than theirs, and it's important to remember that MBTI and its subcategories aren't scientific fact.

Oh dear, I'm thinking too much. Bad ENFP, you're supposed to smile and chase butterflies! :p
heh, you make me laugh. And yes, what you say here is true, the word ideal means different things to different people. My idea of an ideal relationship is one that doens't come with lots of work, it flows. I don't want a partner who isn't flawed either, nor do i want one who is dependent on me for everything. Ideally i want someone who doesn't judge me when i'm not being the best me i can be, someone who can also look past my flaws. Someone who can compromise and make sacrafices. Someone who is open to new ideas , and doens't shoot me down when those ideas seem bizzare. Ideally he should be different from me, show independence , guide me when my emotions are all over the place. There are just so many things i love about a man that maybe the next person won't. I could go on but...i think you get it ;-)
 
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