[SoftBoiledLife]

Hey all,

Socially incompetent ISTJ who needs some input!

There is this this one girl on my apartment floor whom I shall refer to as "Hannah." Now Hannah is very friendly extroverted girl. When we see each other, we say hi and maybe trade small talk. I strongly believe she's aware that I'm kind of a loner so on two occasions, she's invited me out to events, one of which I attended but the other which I skipped for personal reasons.

Seems normal, right?

Just yesterday, a mutual friend of ours asked, "Hey Jack[my alias], do you know what Hannah said about you?" jokingly with a grin on his face. She frowned and said "Be quiet." He immediately dropped it.



Ok. I know it's the tendency to overthink that causes us ISTJs problems. But a million thoughts are going through my mind. I've ruled out that she's interested in me (seems like the type to shun homebodies). So what's her beef? I don't hang out with her and I occasionally study at the same table as her since she and our mutual classmates study there.

 

[OctoberSkye]

You're right. You are over-thinking it. :happy:

If you're on friendly terms, I don't think you should assume she's disinterested unless she explicitly says something to that effect. But, whatever she said could have been a million different things. I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[nightowl]

i thought of this after reading your post.

I think most extroverts think your stuck up if your quiet around them and aren't on the same social leve as theml.

 

[SoftBoiledLife]

You're right. You are over-thinking it. :happy:

If you're on friendly terms, I don't think you should assume she's disinterested unless she explicitly says something to that effect. But, whatever she said could have been a million different things. I wouldn't worry about it.

Doubt she's interested. Other girls at my school who show interest are normally a lot more obvious about it.


My TA (tall, pretty, and smart, but kinda taboo in the student/teacher environment) keeps lookin' over at me occasionally when she thinks I'm not aware of her! I'm not as shy as I used to be, so I get the kicks out of watching her immediate turn-the-head-away reaction once I return the favor by looking back at her. :laughing:

 

[SoftBoiledLife]

i thought of this after reading your post.

YouTube - Young Girl Talking About Herself - Parry Gripp

I think most extroverts think your stuck up if your quiet around them and aren't on the same social leve as theml.

WHAT!

Awww, COME ON! Some of us are just quiet!


And hey, I am NOT a young girl going on and on about myself!

 

[nightowl]

And hey, I am NOT a young girl going on and on about myself!

It was directed toward the girl in your post, not you!

 

[SoftBoiledLife]

It was directed toward the girl in your post, not you!

Point taken. :crazy:

 

[niss]

Not a fair comment. Your mutual friend is a lizard. How I would handle it would be dependent upon how well I know the people involved. In general, I'm direct and would expect Hannah to be direct also. Most likely I would ask her at some opportune time what the lizard was talking about--what she did she say about you.

The cat's out of the bag and he isn't going back in.

 

[SoftBoiledLife]

Not a fair comment. Your mutual friend is a lizard. How I would handle it would be dependent upon how well I know the people involved. In general, I'm direct and would expect Hannah to be direct also. Most likely I would ask her at some opportune time what the lizard was talking about--what she did she say about you.

The cat's out of the bag and he isn't going back in.

Ehhh, I don't want to open up a can of worms by asking her that question.


I'll let it be. For now. :laughing:

 

[Mercer]

Hey all,

Socially incompetent ISTJ who needs some input!

There is this this one girl on my apartment floor whom I shall refer to as "Hannah." Now Hannah is very friendly extroverted girl. When we see each other, we say hi and maybe trade small talk. I strongly believe she's aware that I'm kind of a loner so on two occasions, she's invited me out to events, one of which I attended but the other which I skipped for personal reasons.

Seems normal, right?

Just yesterday, a mutual friend of ours asked, "Hey Jack[my alias], do you know what Hannah said about you?" jokingly with a grin on his face. She frowned and said "Be quiet." He immediately dropped it.



Ok. I know it's the tendency to overthink that causes us ISTJs problems. But a million thoughts are going through my mind. I've ruled out that she's interested in me (seems like the type to shun homebodies). So what's her beef? I don't hang out with her and I occasionally study at the same table as her since she and our mutual classmates study there.

my take ist that extroverts are all assholes, and they see intoverts as having something wrong with us. so she might have said something in regards to that. but really you shouldn't care so much about what others think. If that was me it wouldn't bother me enough to post about it.

 

[Mercer]

i thought of this after reading your post.

youtube - young girl talking about herself - parry gripp

i think most extroverts think your stuck up if your quiet around them and aren't on the same social leve as theml.

roflmaouisc

 

[SoftBoiledLife]

my take ist that extroverts are all assholes, and they see intoverts as having something wrong with us. so she might have said something in regards to that. but really you shouldn't care so much about what others think. If that was me it wouldn't bother me enough to post about it.

I'm pretty sure that's what it was too. In hindsight, it was something to burn brain cells and time pondering. Piqued my curiosity for bit, I'll admit.



I'm not going to wear my heart on my sleeve over what others think about me. I am who I am. I do my best to be friendly, but I won't go out of my way to try socializing with people that I just don't click with. I've tried it in the past and it's never worked out. I've learned over the years that you just can't get along with everyone!

 

[niss]

mercer--

Calling extroverts names in post #10 is flat wrong. :frustrating:

 

[Rhee]

Just yesterday, a mutual friend of ours asked, "Hey Jack[my alias], do you know what Hannah said about you?" jokingly with a grin on his face. She frowned and said "Be quiet." He immediately dropped it.

I'd say this depends on your mutual friend. If he normally behaves maturely in social settings, he'd know never to recount negative comments about someone else, especially to that person's face. Then the remark in question could very well have been something flattering.

 

[SoftBoiledLife]

I'd say this depends on your mutual friend. If he normally behaves maturely in social settings, he'd know never to recount negative comments about someone else, especially to that person's face. Then the remark in question could very well have been something flattering.

We're not close but he's pretty mature from what I can see.

Then again, he looked like he wasn't going to blurt out whatever he was going to say anyway. He was just messing around.

Can't really get a lot from that.