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Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

Trying to become the best me, and the best human being I could become. However, more often than not I have absolutely no idea what being "the best me" and "the best human being" even means. Hence I keep searching for the criteria of what could identify "best-ness", and then compare it against survival requirements.
For example: If others tell me that being a good human being means being kind and self-sacrificing, I will most likely reject that, because I know the world isn't kind, nature never made it kind, hence anyone who follows down the path of kindness might destroy himself, and anyone who destroys himself cannot be identified as the "best" anything.

To sumarize, I want to reach personal perfection, but I don't know what personal perfection is. I observe the world, and listen to other people's views of said perfection, and compare them against the cold reality. If such perfection can survive in such a world, then it passes the exam, and I may incorporate it into my list of "things to do, to feel accomplished and fulfilled".

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

Reach Eudaimonia.

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

No matter whether my deeds will be evil or good, what I want to avoid at all costs is doing stupid short-sighted things. Because stupidity leads to ruin.

Likewise, I want to avoid looking derpy, retarded, uncoordinated, unintelligent. Anything that could make me look inelegant in any way, no matter whether it is through speech, image, or thought.

4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

One of my biggest fears is to disappoint others. When others expect me to do something, they invest their faith into me, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I would trample that faith.

Another huge fear is to either be perceived as stupid, or to falsely convince myself or be convinced by others that I'm smart. I want to possess genuine intelligence, not made-up intelligence.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I want to be seen confident, calm, controlled, deep, unpredictable (in the good sense of the word), mysterious, powerful, with good sense of taste.
The way I do see myself is shy, impulsive, reserved, but slowly progressing towards my ideal self-image described above.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

Best: being able to efficiently and successfully help other people by solving their problems. Proving that I am dependable and able.

Worst: disappointing others, failing to live up to my desired self-image described in question #5.

7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

a) Generally I prefer to avoid feeling anger, and I don't even know how real anger should feel like. But at times it catches me off guard. But tends to be short lived. I am way too much concerned with becoming my ideal self, that anger is something I quickly brush aside as a hindrance. It usually takes a lot of time and effort to rouse my anger, because most of the time I give people a lot of chances and overlook many of their flaws. But once they do step on my tail, I will behave similarly to a cat whose tail was stepped on. Yell, hiss, scratch. Whatever goes. But the next morning I will regret my reaction and feel dumb for being so impulsive.

If a person however repeatedly steps on my tail, I will hold a grudge for the rest of my life. Remain passive aggressive towards that person no matter how many times he begs forgiveness.

b) I am extremely susceptible to shame. As soon as another person says that I have this or that flaw, it will devastate me for weeks, months, or maybe even years. I will stay hyper-focused on that flaw and keep brainstorming ways to fix it.

c) anxiety most of the time tends to express itself physically through the body. Can cause stomach pain, gut issues, heart issues, make me physically hyper-sensitive to pain or touch. Once anxiety caused me to forget how to swallow food for 3 months, and so I spent 3 months eating my meals, spending about 2-3 hours on each meal, because building up the courage to swallow every bite too me about 2 minutes each. I often choked.
Externally my anxiety never shows. People tend to say that I seem extremely calm and confident even in most stressful situations, but I'm actually dying inside.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

a) Any kind of stress causes me to get physical, go outside, avoid human contact, do some useful activity. I deal with stress by being independently physically proactive. Hence, stress may cause me to suddenly leave the house and go to a store in search of some item that I promised to buy someone long ago. Or I might even go as far as leaving my country, to go traveling on my own abroad, putting myself into dangerous situations and dealing with them as they come up. Stress pushes me towards achievement and audacity.

b) Catches me off guard, and maybe even neutralizes me for a brief period of time. If I expected one thing/situation, but received another thing/situation, I need to stop and properly let my mind come to terms with such change. I generally react very negatively to sudden changes, and I rarely am able to think quick on my feet if they happen. More often I will withdraw/escape the situation, until I've built a strong enough sentiment and convinction in my mind as to how I feel towards this change and how I should deal with it.

c) I have a love/hate relationship towards conflict. On one hand I will always thrive in conflict in the heat of battle, no matter whether it is physical or verbal. Conflict fulfills me while it lasts, I do really enjoy it. But once the conflict ends, it starts to slowly destroy me from within. I will feel like shit, and that feeling will continue to eat away at my mind and soul for days or even weeks.
I myself generally avoid starting conflicts, but I will easily jump into a conflict if another person will be the provocateur. Or I can just as easily jump into someone else's conflict, because I like taking sides in fights, even if the fight has nothing to do with me.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

a) I respect authority if it proves to be respectable. I have my favorite leaders and my favorite systems, and I would be willing to sacrifice myself for them. The problem however is, that only about 1% of such leaderships/systems pass my criteria of loyalty. Hence, I will either be extremely loyal and devoted to an authority, or I will completely disregard it and even fight against it if it doesn't meet my high standards.
Needless to say, more often than not I was found fighting against authority rather than submitting to it. And did this more proactively and audaciously than anyone among my peers. But I reiterate: there are authorities to whom I would love to fully submit, because doing so would feel very fulfilling.

b) As for power, I'm a Nietzschean. I do truly believe that power is at the center, or is the essence, of everybody's existence. It is in everyone and in everything, just to different degrees. And the people who succeed in life - are those who manage to grow their power. Such power can be represented by intellect, spiritual and emotional strength, knowledge, material wealth, awareness, physical strength, maturity, health, etc.
Power can be corrupt and cause problems, but power in itself is a fundamental aspect of existence and is pure and beautiful (until corrupted)

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

Humans are animals, but they are a higher breed of animals due to their high intellect. If we are to remain human, then we must continue to live up to standards which elevate us above other animal species. But we should also avoid becoming extremely robotic/machine-like.

I don't know if there is a more intelligent being than a human. But even if there is one, humanity must still do its best to be the best humanity it can be, with all of its stregths and weaknesses, with all of its greatnesses and flaws.


Optional Questions

11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

Probably nothing can be as an impactful of an event in my life as was the divorce of my parents when I was merely 5 years old. It devasted me and placed me into self-imposed social isolation for most of my childhood and teenhood. My mother and father are extremely different individuals, with extremely different standards and ideas about life. And to maintain a good relationship with both of them, I had to change my personality to fit the expectations of each parent. I learned to tailor my behavior to the expectations of other people, but it's still a very emotionally irritating and painful thing to do.

12. Comment on your relationship with trust.

I don't trust anything, not even myself. I find trust to be dagerous as it can lead you astray in life. What I do is give people chances, and give myself chances. (or benefit of the doubt) But I never truly trust my abilities, or trust other's abilities/intentions. This helps me avoid making dangerous investments (be it emotional or material).

13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.

a) - I like my ability to feel the correct answer to every question or situation. Even if I rarely trust that feeling or rarely understand it.
- I like my ability to have an in-depth understanding of aesthetics and my devotion to maintaining good tastes.
- I like my high level of endurance when it comes suffering through problems.
- I like my constant self-doubt, because it protects me from false beliefs about the self.
- I like my ability to be an inspiring leader, even if I rarely place myself into that role. (but whenever I did, people enjoyed working under me)

b) - I dislike my "slowness" when it comes to making decisions. Before I commit myself to any action, I might spend weeks/months weighing up the pros and cons, as well as preparing myself emotionally. This often causes me to miss a lot of good opportunities.
- Even though people say I appear very confident on the outside, I personally feel like I have no confidence at all, and that feeling tends to drag me down.
- I dislike the fact that I pay so much attention to other people's opinion, and at times tend to place their opinion above mine. But this is caused by my constant self-doubt, which compels me to properly analyse every "truth" in existence, before I can grow confident in my own "truth".

14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?

Most of the things I know about myself were noticed by others. In fact, others tend to know more about me than I do myself. My friends often make revelations about my personality or talents, whilst I had not even suspected their existence. I guess I am not as self-aware as I'd like to be. I tend to underestimate myself in most situations, as for some reason underestimating myself feels to be the safer option than overestimating.

15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?

If it comes from a stranger, I won't respond in any way and remain poker-faced. But I might die a little bit inside.

Compliments will brush my ego, as they would for anyone. But I tend to approach compliments with great caution - I don't trust sweet words, until I am assured that they are genuine and spoken with good intentions. I hate fake compliments because they hold the danger of disrupting my self-awareness. If someone tries to convince me that I'm smart, whereas in reality I'm not, it will destroy my integrity. I need to ensure that what people say about me is the truth, because only truth is useful in self-betterment. If a fake compliment comes not from a stranger but from an acquaintance, and he continues giving me fake compliments, I will slowly grow to loathe him. Because my confidence in life is extremely dependant on the clarity and genuineness of the information I hold about myself. And whomever tries to throw sugar-coated poop into my understanding of what I am and am not, I will deem him as a person who is dangerous to my self-integrity.

16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?

a) I'm thankful I have intelligent parents, who are well-cultured, have achieved many things in life, have upbrought me well enough to reach their high standards. This fact by itself grants me a great sense of fulfillment.

b) I wish I had a more favorable environment to pursue my ambitions/goals in life. I feel like I was born in the wrong country at the wrong time. I cannot become the best possible me, if my environment prevents me from doing so.
 

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@Mez.
1w9 > 1w2; 8w7 > 8w9; 9w8 > 9w1.
3w4 > 3w2; 4w5 > 4w3; 2w1 > 2w3.
6w5 > 6w7; 5w4 > 5w6; 7w8 > 7w6.
 
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@Mez.
1w9 > 1w2; 8w7 > 8w9; 9w8 > 9w1.
3w4 > 3w2; 4w5 > 4w3; 2w1 > 2w3.
6w5 > 6w7; 5w4 > 5w6; 7w8 > 7w6.
Cool. Thanks for your contribution.
Although since I'm completely new to this, how should I interpret your answer, more specifically?
 

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Cool. Thanks for your contribution.
Although since I'm completely new to this, how should I interpret your answer, more specifically?
Firstly, to be more specific: In specifying that order, I mean that I think your most likely core type is 1w9. Assuming of course that your core type is within the Instinctual Triad. Likewise, if your core type is within the Thinking Triad, I think your most likely type is 6w5, and if your core type is within the Feeling Triad, I think your most likely type is 4w5. However, 1w9 seems most likely followed by 6w5.


Essentially though, as a 1, your core fear would be of being "Of being corrupt/evil, defective" which can be interpreted in an infinite number of ways, so I wouldn't fixate too much on the words corrupt and evil as they are, but rather what you think those terms mean to you, and if you tend to stray from those things. You said you want to reach personal perfection, and wanting to know what that means you observe the world in order to find what you deem to be acceptable. That's a tendency common within 1's; To be unsure of something, then after observing that process taking place being able to say, "Yes, that is right" or "No, that's not right, __ is how it should be".

I could elaborate more, and I will later on if you'd like. However, I'm curious upon reading descriptions pertaining to type 1 what you think, so I'll wait until then to say more.

There are multiple resources (As you may be aware, I'm not certain how much you've read already):
https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-1/
https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/type1

Among more, of course.
 

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I'm thinking either 1w9 or 1w2, but I'm leaning towards a wing of 9. Your main drive is a perfectionistic one, almost to the point of disappointment, leading to your fear of disappointment. In terms of it being towards others, I think that has a lot to do with your MBTI type being INFJ (I've seen you around lol). In terms of how you describe the physical world, being apart of it, and how you can contribute to society still remains a mystery leads to the 9 wing over the 2.
 
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