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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Personal concepts

1. What is beauty? What is love?

I strongly believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder—I attribute beauty to people and things that exist rather than abstract things.

2. What are your most important values?

Peace, equality, non-aggression, freedom of speech, non-prejudice.

3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?

I have tried multiple times in the past to be spiritual but none of them have really succeeded because when it comes down to it I just can’t believe in God. I believe that when we die our existence is over and I don’t think that God or a life after death makes any sense. Especially when I think about the sheer number of faiths that exist and have existed—How can a person ever have true faith in one religion when people of thousands of other religions are equally, if not more convinced of their religion’s veracity.

4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?

Honestly America spends way too much money on the military and I’d seriously prefer if we as a nation scrapped the “policeman of the world” mentality and remained neutral. If we started to demilitarize we would save money, less troops would die in war, we’d have greater national security (less likely to be blown up in WWIII), and we would be less hated by the rest of the world. Outside of America, I feel like highly militarized societies have very negative impacts on their inhabitants.

Power to me is being a fully developed and emotionally stable person.


5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?

I have had long conversations about mental disorders (with my family when I had them and with my friends when they were going through them), racism/sexism/homophobia (usually in these conversations the other person thinks that the conversation is going really well when in reality I’m internally very upset because they are being completely racist/sexist/homophobic even while trying to take a “liberal” view), my mom’s problems, the future, books, and generally common interests when I’m with friends.

6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?*

I used to want to be a doctor until I realized how many years of medical school I would have to go through (much easier to become a software engineer—and you still get good pay). I’m somewhat interested in health and medicine as a conversation topic.

I used to be very, very focused on my body (anorexic when I was in middle school). I still am very preoccupied with my appearance. I think that I feel this way because I can’t think of a reason why anyone would like/love me other than for my appearance haha…

7. What do you think of daily chores?

I usually can’t keep up with them well—but when I get them done I feel like they bring some order and stability to my life and I like that.

8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.

Books: 1Q84 – Murakami, Wuthering Heights – Bronte, Never Let Me Go—Ishiguro

I have watched a lot of films that I liked but it’s really hard for me to remember them since there isn’t as much as a commitment that goes into watching a film as goes into reading a book.

A film that I remember liking is Paprika (I only remember it because I’ve watched it multiple times). I watched it for the first time in elementary school when my mom randomly brought it home for me thinking it was a kid’s anime (it’s not) and I still don’t really understand the “deeper message” to it (not even sure if there is one). I continue watching it mainly because it’s pretty surreal and visually stimulating/interesting—It can keep you interested even if you don’t understand what’s going on.

9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

Books and movies have made me cry and smile because they’re emotional rollercoasters ;;
I cry whenever I get criticized—I always take things too personally.
I cry when I fail (mainly school) because I can’t handle failure because it makes me feel dumb and like I’m never going to get anywhere in my life.

10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

I feel at one with the environment when I’m outside and alone in an urban environment and I’m just sort of going with the flow and nobody knows me or judges me.

I feel a sense of belonging when I’m by myself in my room since I know I can be myself or when I’m alone with a really close friend (or group of really close friends) for the same reason.

Evaluation & Behavior

11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

Yes, in school I lowkey cried while taking around 50% of my tests and cried if I got below a 90% on anything so I’m pretty sure everyone at my school knows that weakness.

Some people know my body image weakness because I constantly stress over my appearance around them and when they ask me why I don’t eat much at lunch I say it’s because I don’t want to get fat.

I’m the type of person that really feels no shame at exposing weaknesses—I used to but I got over it because in the end nobody cares/judges me as much about my weaknesses as I do.

I dislike my shyness, tendency to procrastinate, short attention span, height, general appearance sometimes (sometimes I like it and sometimes I don’t). I feel like I could live a much easier life if I looked at the world more in the moment and
took less time to reflect on my problems. I have way too much fantasy life and I idealize the crap out of potential partners.

12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
People think that I’m gentle and smart.

I like the fact that I can get good grades, that I like books, and that I can make friends.

13. In what areas of your life would you like help?

Emotional stability, self confidence, attention span, my endless fantasy life is actually destroying me so I need help with that, and I idealize everything too much.

14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

Yes, I feel like I have random energy spikes and drops. When I’m in a drop I feel literally incapable of getting any work done. I usually give up on working and do something that I enjoy for hours.

People & Interactions

15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?

For guys: I like extraverted yet empathetic and kind people (ENFJ’s!) and also meticulous, intelligent types who also possess a deep emotional side (like a very developed ISFJ).

For girls: I like making friends with meticulous, logical girls who are very mentally stable and are usually a little bit self-obsessed, yet still fun to talk to due to common interests.

I have a hard time getting along with girls who are similar to me (INFP girls are a challenge). I think it’s because I don’t really acknowledge all of my faults so when I see my faults on another person I really want to push get them out of my life asap

I don’t like girls who are too serious.

I don’t like guys who are overly serious, have a superiority complex, or are overly critical.

I won’t talk to someone who is racist, sexist, homophobic, has a superiority complex, refuses to acknowledge that their way of living is not the only way of living, or is too wrapped up in their religious beliefs to think rationally and accept people.

16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

I’m super romantic. I idealize the crap out of potential partners. I think that sex should be fun but not taken too lightly (not taken too seriously either); I dislike the idea of sleeping around and I also dislike the idea of...overly dramatic sex?...does that even make sense....

I like ENFJ men in general (extraverted yet empathetic and kind people who connect well with those around them—I could go into more detail but I would basically be typing out the entire the ENFJ description). I need someone who understands that I’m not really the cold person that I may seem to be—I need someone who will have the time and patience to make me comfortable with them and show my “true self” (make me act how I would around my closest friends)

I don’t only like NF’s—I also like well-developed intellectual types who still retain the capacity to empathize with others.

17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

I would probably just want them to be themselves. I would make sure that they got a proper foundation for education. I would also ensure that they grew up to be completely tolerant of people unlike them because that is basically my central value. I would want them to be kind and smart.

18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

I would get very angry inside and be wondering how they could possibly be so ignorant/hateful.
On the outside I would probably get a little bit passive aggressive and then just sort of check out of the conversation.

19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

I’m a little pessimistic about people as a whole and I generally assume bad things about them, and yet I feel like I’m missing out (and will continue to miss out) on great experiences that they’re probably experiencing.
I feel like people with superiority complexes are annoying. Hateful and ignorant people are dumb.

20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

I chose friends that I have a strong initial inclination towards and who I naturally feel like I can act like myself around. I am usually friends with the type of person that I look up to (rational thinker, emotionally stable, unaffected by society, and very driven). I basically make friends with people of the opposite thinking style from me. I almost always have common interests with my friends because otherwise my relationships get boring.

21. How do you behave around strangers?

I’m usually pretty shy around strangers because I feel like they judge me. I usually assume that people don’t want to make friends with a person like me and so I’m a little closed off around strangers.
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