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there's an ISFP i am crushing on but i cannot seem to get a good read on him. sometimes i think he likes me and he shares his innermost thoughts with me and tells me that he doesn't do that with just anyone. that leads me to believe that i am at least important enough in his life that he is willing to open up. then there are times he'll say things out of the blue almost like he's testing the waters to gauge my reaction to them, but because i am not certain of his feelings for me, as a fellow Feeler, i have my guard/walls up so i don't end up hurt if the feelings aren't reciporcated. He gives intense eye contact when we talk and it seems like he's really listening. Then there are times i feel like he ignores me and doesn't want to spend any time with me if given the opportunity. then i feel totally disapointed that perhaps he doesn't like me in that way and i am totally reading into it. am i losing my mind? what are signs that an ISFP male is interested but afraid to make a move? Should I say something?
 

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This post is old but I feel I should chip in anyway if it'll help.

This really has nothing to do with MBTI. His status as ISFP is really not all that relevant here, and I doubt his behaviour is just him being a typical ISFP. There could be so many issues going on here, he could just be playing with you, he could genuinely be unsure of whether he's interested or not, he may suffer from serious mood swings, or this may just be all in your head. The best solution?
ASK HIM

Time and time again I see people with relationship problems that result from mind games and signals. Don't bother with all that if it causes you stress or anxiety, the best strategy for answering any and all questions that relate to whether or not somebody is romantically interested in you is just to ask them. That's the only way you'll ever know.

If you do ask, and he still doesn't give you a straightforward answer, then he isn't worth your time.
 

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there's an ISFP i am crushing on but i cannot seem to get a good read on him. sometimes i think he likes me and he shares his innermost thoughts with me and tells me that he doesn't do that with just anyone. that leads me to believe that i am at least important enough in his life that he is willing to open up. then there are times he'll say things out of the blue almost like he's testing the waters to gauge my reaction to them, but because i am not certain of his feelings for me, as a fellow Feeler, i have my guard/walls up so i don't end up hurt if the feelings aren't reciporcated. He gives intense eye contact when we talk and it seems like he's really listening. Then there are times i feel like he ignores me and doesn't want to spend any time with me if given the opportunity. then i feel totally disapointed that perhaps he doesn't like me in that way and i am totally reading into it. am i losing my mind? what are signs that an ISFP male is interested but afraid to make a move? Should I say something?
You are making me feel guilty here... XD
Sounds like me in a nutshell...
I'm very wishy washy when it comes to girls that I like somewhat,
but can't make up my mind about.

@Murnando is right about it not being just a MBTI thing.
For me much of my erratic indecisive behaviour is related to the enneagram.
One day I'm motivated and gives all the right signals,
the next time I have decided that maybe we aren't such a good match after all.

My Fi reasoning goes like this.
As long as we haven't kissed we are still just friends, so I may tip-toe and test the waters from all angles until
I feel certain about what to do about the person in question.

For me it is a mix of 9ish passiveness, 5ish withdrawal and 2ish not wanting to force anything because that would be straining.
So basically I need to want you so much that I set a 3ish goal to get you, or go the 5 to 8 route of using knowledge as power
to get you, or finally going 2 too 4 and being so original and attractive that you decide to seduce me.

If you figure out his enneagram type you can kinda get what his hangup is better I think.

Now my reasons for acting like that might not apply to him.
Actually I would be really surprised if it did unless you are one of my GFFs. XD
 

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I disagree that it has 'nothing to do with MBTI', as ISFPs are known to act like this more often than many other types. I'm actually going through the exact same thing with my own ISFP crush at the moment! I also have a friend who only finally, after months and months of running in circles, concluded her own 'does he or doesn't he' with an ISFP.

From what I've learned from my ISFP friends, they like to live in the moment. If at the time they feel very attracted to you, they may act on it - but may be a little less sure the next day. A week later? They may be completely sure they want you again. It's frustrating, because you never know where you stand. I've found the best way to deal with it is to sit them down and talk to them about it, and then give them space to think about what you've said before bringing it up again. They're often too scared to initiate the conversation themselves, or don't know how to.
 

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Heretic
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I disagree that it has 'nothing to do with MBTI', as ISFPs are known to act like this more often than many other types. I'm actually going through the exact same thing with my own ISFP crush at the moment! I also have a friend who only finally, after months and months of running in circles, concluded her own 'does he or doesn't he' with an ISFP.

From what I've learned from my ISFP friends, they like to live in the moment. If at the time they feel very attracted to you, they may act on it - but may be a little less sure the next day. A week later? They may be completely sure they want you again. It's frustrating, because you never know where you stand. I've found the best way to deal with it is to sit them down and talk to them about it, and then give them space to think about what you've said before bringing it up again. They're often too scared to initiate the conversation themselves, or don't know how to.
Well yeah the moment thing plays a big part...
But as I said if I set a 3ish goal to get her the problem evaporates.
Mostly I have the in the moment issue with girls that are borderline physically attractive to me.
I meet them one day and their personality convinces me to pursue.
Then the next time their personality isn't as convincing and it drops below threshold.

This only happens with girls who have the idea that the male needs to pursue and get them. (most of them)
If they are a bit forward the problem evaporates also.
 

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I'm in a very similar situation like tragicgal expressed here, just i fell in love with an ISFP girl. We've met each other at the university as I initiated conversation after the first lecture we both attended. She smiled to me, we made an eye contact and I can honestly say that there were sparks between us just after a few minutes of chatting. We meet at lectures every day and that week she was initiating conversations about studies and etc turning it to flirt also with "innocent" pokes despite that it all looked quite childish in a good way.

After this week or two she pulled back as I tried to show her as much attention as I could. In that time she ignored my skype messages a few times but after that came back lively and energetic again. She often looked quite nervous and blushed when around me. I asked her out after two or three weeks we met but she gave me a reason why couldn't. When I began texting here sms she clearly appeared to be physically happy as I noticed but at the same time live and text chatting became less and less engaging.

After like one month or so after the first invitation I asked her out for a second time and again she gave me a resaon -_-. Later I think figured out that there was actually no reason. I knew all that about not forcing relationship with ISFP but I couldn't just do nothing when she slowly drifts away from me. However all that time she hasn't stopped glancing at me intensively when in lectures but conversations are becoming more and more formal. I generally have initiated all the contact by myself for month. So I'm really confused right now whether I made some kind of fault (didn't do something) or she just needs some time to recharge. Yeah I can tell her of how much she affects me but the biggest problem here is that she is the first person I really fell in love with. How would I see her every day if I get to know that she is not interested in me anymore or worse just run to the hills.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
They're often too scared to initiate the conversation themselves, or don't know how to.[/QUOTE]

this may be true, however, i have had my isfp crush say he didn't want any misconstrued ideas that were were more than friends after a flirt session. What the? so if he has the balls to initiate that kind of conversation, what does he mean by the flirting? i also don't encourage the flirting so i am not the one who initiates it or continues it.
 
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