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I'm guilty of vanishing. I usually hint at things I'm unhappy with and want to see a change with. If I don't get the reassurance that I need, I'll sometimes just vanish. I suppose that I want an easy clean break over a long drawn out explanation. I will think, " I was telling you all along what was not working for me and you couldn't take a hint and change. Therefore, I'm going to cease to continue. It's easier that way. " I suppose it's due to holding people up to the same standard that I hold myself up to and that might seem very unfair. I'm sorry that we do this. I can understand why it is confusing and sometimes unfair. Usually, though, if someone manages to contact me again, I'll give them an explanation. I'll show them the ways in which I tried to hint throughout it all. I have had YouTube accounts, Skype accounts, amongst other online accounts that I forget passwords to, so I vanish solely due to poor management with said accounts. Other times, I purposely will abandon because I no longer see any purpose. I hope that helps!
 

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I just feel the need to be alone. There are times when I vanish and don't feel the need to communicate much with other people, I just want to be by myself. After a while, I come back though. Eventually. I get tired from too much contact with people, and my interests are not the same in intensity, so it's only natural to focus on something else or retreat for a while, or more.
 

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INFJ 6w5, 1w2, 2w1 Sx/Sp
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I imagine that's not terribly uncommon with Youtubers in general....especially the introverted variety. People get busy. Life happens. Or people move on with their lives.

The way I see it, no one is entitled to a relationship with me unless the person invested a great deal of energy into my well-being. But even then, no one is entitled. Just in that scenario, that would be a person I should value. It's rude not to acknowledge someone's presence unless they are just toxic in which case, I really don't owe the person anything. I owe it to myself to not allow myself to be mistreated any further. That's about all I could think of but I certainly can't speak for every INFJ on the planet.
 

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I'm guilty of vanishing. I usually hint at things I'm unhappy with and want to see a change with. If I don't get the reassurance that I need, I'll sometimes just vanish. I suppose that I want an easy clean break over a long drawn out explanation. I will think, " I was telling you all along what was not working for me and you couldn't take a hint and change. Therefore, I'm going to cease to continue. It's easier that way. " I suppose it's due to holding people up to the same standard that I hold myself up to and that might seem very unfair. I'm sorry that we do this. I can understand why it is confusing and sometimes unfair. Usually, though, if someone manages to contact me again, I'll give them an explanation. I'll show them the ways in which I tried to hint throughout it all. I have had YouTube accounts, Skype accounts, amongst other online accounts that I forget passwords to, so I vanish solely due to poor management with said accounts. Other times, I purposely will abandon because I no longer see any purpose. I hope that helps!
I do exactly this, but I am ENFP. Perhaps it is an NF thing?
 

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INFJ 4w5 Sx/ So
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I do exactly this, but I am ENFP. Perhaps it is an NF thing?
It could be an intuitive+ feeling thing. The losing track of passwords isn't a normal habit of mine. I'm usually pretty organized. I usually am aware and write them down. It wasn't until I was majorly hacked online, then I became all flustered and disorganized with my online passwords. The subtle hinting might be something I do to so I don't hurt the other person's feelings? I know that I can take a hint and tends to hope that other people can, as well. The clean break is due to me wanting to avoid long drawn out drama. No matter how long we draw it out, the end is going to be the same. There is no need to waste either one of ours time. INFJ and ENFP can be quite similar when it comes to certain things. Our functions are in the same order. It's just where you're extroverted, I'm introverted and where I'm extroverted, you're introverted. I could also see an ENFJ or INFP dealing in the same way. My ENFJ sister is also a lot like myself in such manners. I'd say the INFPs that in know would be the ones to vanish more easily due to their own feelings and possibly feeling misunderstood. Human behavior, in general is interesting.
 

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A thing I've noticed about INFJ's is that sometimes, when they're upset, they won't want to mention what they're upset about directly out of fear of starting conflict or making other people upset. They'll often isolate for a while to think things through and/or blame themselves until someone reaches out to them. Most of the time, they need someone to talk about their feelings with them in order to be able understand the situation clearly and solve the emotional conflict.
 

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I used to ghost when I felt I was putting more into a relationship or endeavor than I was getting out. And to avoid asserting my needs. I'd start feeling drained, resentment would start building, I'd drop a couple of hints, and if they weren't picked up, I cut the cord.

Nowadays I'm more assertive and expressive with my needs and desires. I used to hide them or feel uncomfortable about it. Now when I feel like a situation is unbalanced or that someone is taking advantage, I ask directly what the deal is and if that's how they want things to be. I'm getting older, life's getting busier, and I'm running out of time and energy to accommodate the bad habits and quirks of people who seem incapable or unwilling to return the favor. Now, I reserve that kind of attention and care for people who seem to value it. Or if these next few years of school go well, the people who pay me for it.
 

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I've never ghosted a relationship, but I just shut down my portrait photography business because it was so stressful that I've been almost constantly sick the last 8 months. I'm going to focus on fine art and digital art that won't require as much social contact. I think even though INFJs want to contribute to the world, we have a hard time blocking out the negativity that can come back. I also feel like I go full steam at things and get burned out really fast and it's easier to quit something than back off of it. Just my 2 cents.
 

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after 10 years I finally gave up on caring to find out. I tried ... okay.
 

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The OP isn't an ENFP, thank goodness.
 

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This isn't an INFJ thing, it should be a people thing. Sticking around somewhere that does not make you happy is unhealthy.

I just did this last week. I HATE FB. Everyone I had friended ( Sadly, RL friends I wanted to keep up with.) was just SO Obsessed with their meaningless, stupid, drivel. None of it is even original, they just circle jerk to the same nerdy shit ( because life is just one giant Harry Patter reference anymore) over and over.

I warned them. " Friendship is not dragging someone through a daily tour of YOUR world while refusing to so much as stop by thiers." Of course THAT got their attention, so many likes, so many " IKR!" but nothing changed. So I just unfriend them all.
I didn't leave some passive-aggressive rant, I didn't say goodbye. Just,gone.
If they want to contact me and get together in the real world I will be more than happy to oblige but staying in a situation which makes you unhappy is good for no one.
 

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I agree with pretty much all of the above.

For me, it's always been a final resort mechanism.

If I feel like I'm losing myself or that I can no longer be myself while trying to keep up with whatever is going on, I cut it.

This preserves peace, which for me, is extremely important.

I know some people don't like being "cut-off," but in many cases it is for the best.

If I stay I won't be my best, If I try to maintain partial contact, I won't be genuine. So I leave.

I've done some crazy stuff, but being brave enough to do it showed me that I don't have to be another cog in the system.

I can be myself, find the exit, and start anew.

And that's okay.
 

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Yeah um, ENFP here. Tfw been PARANOID AF about my INFJ doing this to me one day, especially since we only know each other online and there's no way I can hunt...er... find him irl. So every time INFJ goes missing for more than like....12 hours without explanation, especially after a sort of argument, I get paranoid af, my head gets filled with anything between "oh God he hates me I'm a horrible human being" to "oh God he must've got hit by a car and died"
 
and then he comes back saying he was only sleeping lol


So just my (unsought) two cents to y'all INFJs, if you ever feel you wanna take the exit, if the person you're pulling the disappearing act on hasn't wronged you in an utterly horrible, heart-wrenching way, please please PLEASE do not torture the poor soul without disappearing without an explanation lol. You can of course leave after explaining though :p
 

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Not uncommon for an INFJ to avoid confrontation. Some INFJs are empaths and can literally feel what others feel. So if things get tough in the relationship and they don’t want to continue then they will just walk away (door slam). In part, this is done because they will feel the pain other person experiences when they tell the other person much of what the have to say.

INFJs are also very good at understand and predicting behavior. They also see deficiencies. If they believe you just won’t get what they are saying then they may decide not to even try explaining.

They really are good at seeing inside people and knowing how to anticipate behavior and attitudes.
 
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