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Discussion Starter #1
I cannot really comprehend why being friendzoned is such a bad thing.

Friendship is the best thing ever. Seriously.

:/

Please explain.
 

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The friend zone is a situation that entitled men use to describe a relationship in which they feel they've been kind/considerate/thoughtful/helpful/gentelmanly enough to a woman that she should have sex with them, the woman is not interested in them sexually however and considers them a friend. This is only a bad thing because the man wants to be having sex with the woman, he doesn't want to be her friend.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
The friend zone is a situation that entitled men use to describe a relationship in which they feel they've been kind/considerate/thoughtful/helpful/gentelmanly enough to a woman that she should have sex with them, the woman is not interested in them sexually however and considers them a friend. This is only a bad thing because the man wants to be having sex with the woman, he doesn't want to be her friend.
Yes. Terms for assholes. :/

Damn i swear, i have these bunch of male coworkers that really complains how women suck because of friendzone. Seriously, they suck.

Damn fucking asshole. Low life losers. I really hate men who's just very stupid complaining how a girl friendzoned them like as if he cannot accept that fact. Like he's obviously wanting only to get laid. Now that asshole didn't get laid, he'll calling his PUA failure as being friendzoned and they will be assholing women for it..

Fuck those people.

Those kind of men are real life losers. XD

Fucking PUA.

I'm glad girls friendzoned you losers.
 

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The friend zone is a situation that entitled men use to describe a relationship in which they feel they've been kind/considerate/thoughtful/helpful/gentelmanly enough to a woman that she should have sex with them, the woman is not interested in them sexually however and considers them a friend. This is only a bad thing because the man wants to be having sex with the woman, he doesn't want to be her friend.
I really don't understand this. "Friendzone" to me has always been the term you use for an unrequited crush (which I think everyone can agree is painful af and therefore a less-than-ideal situation). I have no idea how or when it became associated with sexist entitled assholes. I don't even know anyone like that?? Literally all I have to go on are posts like this.

Like, I'm sure dudes like that exist but I haven't seen any, which leads me to believe their numbers must be very small. Too small for their usage of this word to have turned it into such a negative thing. What am I missing here?
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Well, -_- sorry, I'm only referring to assholes here. Just merely a vent.

If you haven't encountered one, I'm happy for you.
 

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1. Friend-zoning happens to both men and women. Because pleasant to be around does not always equal physical attraction. I've certainly friend-zoned women. I've certainly listened to women complain about men not liking them back.

2. I don't get the outrage. If you are attracted to someone, but they don't feel the same way, you're obviously going to be less happy about it than if they are also interested in you. It's a common shared human experience. It's like spraining an ankle or having a word at the tip of your tongue.
 

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I really don't understand this. "Friendzone" to me has always been the term you use for an unrequited crush (which I think everyone can agree is painful af and therefore a less-than-ideal situation). I have no idea how or when it became associated with sexist entitled assholes. I don't even know anyone like that?? Literally all I have to go on are posts like this.

Like, I'm sure dudes like that exist but I haven't seen any, which leads me to believe their numbers must be very small. Too small for their usage of this word to have turned it into such a negative thing. What am I missing here?
Depends on how you're using it I suppose. You get unrequited love, which already had a term to describe it and is a tale old as time (song as old as rhyme) and then you get the friend zone. To my mind at least they bare little resemblance to each other. If I had to make up an entirely arbitrary distinction: Unrequited love is when you have an established, deep relationship where one party doesn't feel the romantic feelings the other one does. The emphasis is on love. It features feelings like angst and longing and pain and the Romantics were crazy about it. The friendzone is when you're nice or kind to someone but your primary motivation in doing so is to have sex with them, that's the active goal that serves as your motivation. It primarily features feelings of frustration and that feeling kids get when they are denied cookies, the Romantics incidentally also weren't crazy about it.

If you've never seen guys doing this then okay? I have.
 

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I can't stand people talking about "the friendzone." It basically means, "I was nice to you, now you have to have sex with me or you're a bitch." How so many people don't realize this, I have no idea. Pretty much, if some dude (I've never had a girl do this) starts talking to me about "the friendzone" I know right away he's a piece of shit.
 

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The definition I encountered mostly on men's side of things would be that of "situation where woman is aware of man's romantic interest and exploits it for her profit despite lack of romantic interest in aforementioned man".
Manipulation and enabling, essentially. I noticed it most common among 20-25 y.o. from all walks of life. I'm unsure, however, how much similar view is shared among women. I didn't notice them talk as much about it in general.
I wondered how it would be possible to detect such a situation, however, as manipulation is meant to go by unnoticed. I guess the main red flag is lack of respect for another party. Manipulating romantic feelings, I believe, would lead the manipulator to presume that their victim will go out of their way to do whatever favors requested. When manipulator doesn't receive that, they throw a fit similar to the one " friendzoned" person does upon rejection.
With that all said, I don't think "friend zone" should even be a term in such case, as basic respect, required for friendship, is absent.
 

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There is no friendzone if you choose not to be friends after being rejected. Unfortunately, you might find out who feels entitled to friendship.

It seems like the concept of a friendzone would apply at many levels of friendship or levels of sexism. Some people just feel the need to demonize as much as possible. There are plenty of guys who have good relationships with women that are totally entitled, sexist and immature. Ah, otherwise we would not have so much violence.
 

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Going with the definition @Witch of Oreo provided, exploiting people is not necessarily wrong, but it is definitively unethical. On the other hand, going with the typical feminist definition, you have no right to have sex with someone or anything else for that matter, just because you have been kind to them, but likewise, someone who exploits someone else's kindness is also being unethical.
 

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I personally don't believe in friendship between men and women.

Men and women can be acquaintances, but they can never be close friends, because when either party gets married in future, the friendship will end up changing forever and the friendship will become more distant, since their spouse will become their new best friend.
 

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*First a moment of silence for those in the friend zone*

Alright hold my orange juice, I got this!

Being friend zoned is seen as a bad thing because it is usually a waste of time and resources for the "thirsty party." What the people in the thread fail to realize is that while it can just be "being nice" to said individual that it could also involve dropping money. How much money is determined by how naive the person is. I cannot speak much from the women's side of the "friend zone" but I do know about the male side.

Pretty much as a male you believe the "hype" that is presented via television, movies, etc. where if a guy is nice then a girl will take notice and they will live happily ever and ride into the sunset because women don't like assholes...which is complete bullshit. Real life isn't like that however when you are young and naive you think so (kinda like how you believe in santa when you are little) You have been told these things repeated growing up so you believe it and behave accordingly. So for men the expectation is that you must be "super nice" to a girl to get her to notice you so you compliment a girl that you like calling her beautiful, you hold the door for her, you buy her flowers/gifts on valentine's day, you buy Christmas gifts, lunch, etc. You do all this trying to get her attention and, to be honest, some women love this because it's FREE SHIT lol Now some women would tell the guy early on he has no chance but others use this opportunity to exploit this "nice guy" by intentionally giving mixed messages giving the guy a glimmer of hope. That he COULD potentially be more than a friend.

To put this in simple terms, imagine if you are a volunteer at a place that has a spot open for employment. You are the first person there and the last to leave. Doing whatever you can to try to show you are "employment material." 9 times out of 10 the employer KNOWS whats up. Some have the decency to tell you that the position has already been filled and that the volunteer should invest their time elsewhere but other employers conveniently "forget" to tell the volunteer the position has been filled.

If we gonna be "real" here some women do suck in the sense that they know whether or not there are interested in a guy or not. If you aren't interested then don't take any of the free stuff he offers. The problem is that some women string these poor naive saps along so they are basically putting in 40 hours a week expecting a paycheck and get nothing...then yall wonder why they get salty. You'd be salty too lmao

The good thing is that now a resource exists for these boys/men who didn't have male figures in their lives to warn them about such behaviors. Hopefully the experience leads to them getting red pilled so they can become better aware of some of the common tactics used giving some of these saps a fighting chance to reach their relationship goals (be it companionship or sex)
 

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Hmm these are the problems I can think of

-The person who has romantic interest in the other person tends to see the friendship like a dead-end street that doesn’t lead anywhere for them. In other words, they want something “more” and don’t see friendship as being enough but are upset that the other person doesn’t feel the same way and friendship is where it’s going to stay at (not getting laid, as mentioned earlier)

-when a friend doesn’t romantically like you back, it’s obviously going to hurt. Especially if you’ve known them for a long time and you’re close as friends. But there’s two sides to it since the friend rejecting you is most likely going to feel bad about it, especially if the other person visibly resents the friendzone or doesn’t take rejection well.

-when someone is friendzoned it often times causes an awkward rift in the relationship where the rejecting party might not feel as comfortable around them knowing the other person is romantically interested in them. And the person being friendzoned often times struggles with the feeling of the relationship not going to be romantic, which kinda ties into the first point.

-(also mentioned before) In some cases, maybe the rejector tries to take advantage of the other person’s vulnerability and feelings towards them, or sometimes the person rejected tries to guilt the rejector into liking them back out of pity.
 

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I personally don't believe in friendship between men and women.

Men and women can be acquaintances, but they can never be close friends, because when either party gets married in future, the friendship will end up changing forever and the friendship will become more distant, since their spouse will become their new best friend.
To be honest, I found it a lot more common in male friendships. It's almost an anecdote by now about how "remember how %married_guy_name% hanged out with us, and now he's totally under wife's heel". If there is any complication exclusive to case with female friends, I suppose, it's potential jealousy.

@Euclid
That is a definition I derived from number of interactions, so there's quite a few blind spots. Such situations can easily be simple miscommunication, for example. Not everyone possesses EQ to recognize another person's unspoken romantic interest, and surely not each of such people are manipulative. In fact, there can be more blame on the "friendzoned one" for being too eager and obsessive, going out of their way for the sake of their love interest on their own accord (shortly put - being a creep).

As to why women don't talk about it this much - is, imo, simply because they are not expected to "give" at initial stage of relationship, at least in traditional values framework, so there's nothing to manipulate.
 
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There isn't anything inherently wrong with friendzoning someone or being friendzoned. Personally, I don't use the term much because I feel like it has some kind of entitlement connotation, but it just means that someone developed unrequited romantic and/or sexual interest (which is completely normal and human) and the other person made it clear that they didn't feel the same way.

Problems arise when the person with unreciprocated feelings reacts negatively to the "rejection" and lashes out, or possibly tries to just ignore it. Another potential way for bad things to happen is if the person who wants to keep things platonic is manipulative and attempts to string the other party along for personal gain while dangling the chance to be with them over the other party's head.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
*First a moment of silence for those in the friend zone*

Alright hold my orange juice, I got this!

Being friend zoned is seen as a bad thing because it is usually a waste of time and resources for the "thirsty party." What the people in the thread fail to realize is that while it can just be "being nice" to said individual that it could also involve dropping money. How much money is determined by how naive the person is. I cannot speak much from the women's side of the "friend zone" but I do know about the male side.

Pretty much as a male you believe the "hype" that is presented via television, movies, etc. where if a guy is nice then a girl will take notice and they will live happily ever and ride into the sunset because women don't like assholes...which is complete bullshit. Real life isn't like that however when you are young and naive you think so (kinda like how you believe in santa when you are little) You have been told these things repeated growing up so you believe it and behave accordingly. So for men the expectation is that you must be "super nice" to a girl to get her to notice you so you compliment a girl that you like calling her beautiful, you hold the door for her, you buy her flowers/gifts on valentine's day, you buy Christmas gifts, lunch, etc. You do all this trying to get her attention and, to be honest, some women love this because it's FREE SHIT lol Now some women would tell the guy early on he has no chance but others use this opportunity to exploit this "nice guy" by intentionally giving mixed messages giving the guy a glimmer of hope. That he COULD potentially be more than a friend.

To put this in simple terms, imagine if you are a volunteer at a place that has a spot open for employment. You are the first person there and the last to leave. Doing whatever you can to try to show you are "employment material." 9 times out of 10 the employer KNOWS whats up. Some have the decency to tell you that the position has already been filled and that the volunteer should invest their time elsewhere but other employers conveniently "forget" to tell the volunteer the position has been filled.

If we gonna be "real" here some women do suck in the sense that they know whether or not there are interested in a guy or not. If you aren't interested then don't take any of the free stuff he offers. The problem is that some women string these poor naive saps along so they are basically putting in 40 hours a week expecting a paycheck and get nothing...then yall wonder why they get salty. You'd be salty too lmao

The good thing is that now a resource exists for these boys/men who didn't have male figures in their lives to warn them about such behaviors. Hopefully the experience leads to them getting red pilled so they can become better aware of some of the common tactics used giving some of these saps a fighting chance to reach their relationship goals (be it companionship or sex)
Make sense. :/

Well i can relate. When i don't have romantic tendencies with a person i just don't entertain him that much anymore

What i just don't like is that, you're already made your..

Whatever

Guys are just hurted i guess when they're bitter to girls who "friendzoned" them

Pain.
 
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