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I don't see anything wrong with it, but for me to take part in it I would have to be the only guy
 

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Oh yes I need to mention
Taking part in a polyamory cycle does not mean you are in a romantic relationship with everyone in the cycle
I'd actually prefer being in a relationship with everyone, otherwise it doesn't feel fair. So that kind of polyfidelity is ok, otherwise no, don't think I can deal.
 

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To me it just seems like spreading your energy way too thin. A plus to monogamy is that you're sort of maximizing the return on the energy that you put forth. You're never the odd one out at the end of the round of musical chairs. I'm not interested in having sex with women, especially if other men are involved. They become competition at that point, and I get aggressive. And not in a hot, ooh, I want to spank you kind of way, but more like I actually want to fight them in some sense, and if they try to violate me I will only want to actually fight them in some sense even more.

So in a situation involving an odd number of people, there will be a disproportionate ratio of males to females too, if both are present. If the men involved felt the same way about other men, it might be problematic. I get around those competitive feelings by affirming that everyone just has their preferences, and so if someone were the preference and I were not, I wouldn't be down for feeling like the aperitif to the main course. I'd rather they just go off and do their thing, and I do mine. In a situation without preferences, again, I'd probably just feel competitive, trying to distinguish my worth and what makes me unique and special, so that I'm not just another piece of meat. I guess that sort of situation could work if everyone else were doing the same in varied ways, but sexually that sounds like a chore to me, if it were an ongoing thing. Maybe it would appeal more to social doms. But yea, when playing with sex you're playing with hormones, emotions, thought patterns, there needs to be a high level of attentiveness to arousal, pleasure, you're risking STD's (probability increases that you can't trust everyone involved), pregnancy, physical injury...it just kinda pulls you from the experience the more the focus expands, imo. It's cooler. The tunnel becomes a web.

In a situation where I was committed to one other person and we were both polyamorous but those people were not involved with each other - I'd rather just be single. The only way I could see this working for me would be if it were a very casual relationship. No shared resources, no shared home, etc. If we were more friends with benefits who just shared the details of the rest of our lives together. Otherwise it kind of feels like building a home without locking the door to me. Or if we had begun exclusive, but were tied together in some way and couldn't or didn't want to break up for practical reasons (children, finances, etc). Then I'd prefer that we keep our discretions separate though. If I were at that point with someone I wouldn't probably be willing to put in the work to have a threesome, orgy, whatever when that's not even something I really want to do in the first place. Maybe if there were no romantic feelings left. If it were just totally friendly. That's the only way I can really see myself having group sex at all. It would curb the competitiveness a lot. Just be about physical gratification. It wouldn't ruin feelings of intimacy, which is actually defined in relation to privacy, and without those I'd rather just invest the energy into myself. If everyone is equally intimate, then there is no privacy within the circle, and no one is actually intimate. I guess the circle itself could be seen as a sort of intimacy, but, again, I see that as more social dom thinking, personally. Though I'm sure there's obviously exceptions.

I don't know. That's how I theorize it at least. Group sex with someone I was intimate with, because never say never, would have to allow for a period of harder feelings, and the possibility of ruining the bond. And I don't mean hard as in, like, negative, but just that - hard. Not as soft. That competition would have entered the picture, which I guess could be exciting, but there would be repercussions for that too. Competition has it's place, but it does mess a bit with feelings of rejection and acceptance, which are generally pivotal to intimate relationships.
 

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I think it's going to become more popular as the expenses increase. You're going to need more than two adults to afford a nice house, children, and nice cars. It seems nice to me. More than one partner to play with sounds like fun.
 

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I don't care what other people do, but they're not my thing. I can't say for certain I'd never do it, but it's pretty unlikely.
 

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What do you think about polyamory relationships?
Will you be willing to take part in one? why?
That it would be something I'm not interested in nor in anyone who requires one. Why? Because it's too emotionally draining and at the end of the day it's all about procuring more intimacy, more sex, in more varied expression to satiate an appetite I just don't possess. Huge disconnect with my personal values and what I seek in relationships.
 

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I'm not necessarily sure. I'm ignorant of what it would be like for the children alone let alone the psyche of consenting adults. I would need to study this further to make a more concrete opinion and come to my own conclusions.

However, if there were massive amounts of kids, I would worry for the parent's health and therein the child's. Even vice versa. We do know multiple children can depress parents and multiple siblings can even depress kids. That's just off of the top of my head however.
 

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I want one or two :p but my partner is strictly monogamous. So...

They said it would be fine if I found a queerplatonic partner and they try to be supportive about it but that would hurt them anyway.
 

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To me it just seems like spreading your energy way too thin.
I like that analogy but to me monogamous relationships make me feel like it's draining my energy. I want to spread it around a little bit.
 

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People are draining for me. No way. I can go on multiple dates but to commit to multiple people emotionally?? No way. That's crazy.
 

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I like that analogy but to me monogamous relationships make me feel like it's draining my energy. I want to spread it around a little bit.
That's true. I compared it to a tunnel (monogamy) vs. a web (polyamory). If the tunnel were one way though then...slurp, lol.

I guess I'm viewing it all idealistically. Because really you could be "monogamous" with someone who just takes, doesn't give and cheats on you. But you could also be in a "polyamorous" relationship, let's say a three way, where the other two are actually much more intimate, and cheating on you in that way. (Very unlikely that there is a perfect 50/50 distribution of intimacy and affection - three's a crowd. Though I like - was it Andy Warhol? Yes. Who said that one is company, two's a crowd, and three's a party, haha. So I can see energy feeling maximized in that sense).

Idk though. I guess part of the fun of a party to me is the chaos and unpredictability. Trying to apply trust and intimacy to that seems much more complicated and counterintuitive to me, and I prefer a little more simplicity in relationships. I like the idea of a sort of stability to then pursue complexity in other areas of life.

That's just me though. I'm sx dom. I'm really wondering how much that has to do with some of this. I think it could maybe relevant.
 

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Sounds like a huge headache to me. If I wanted to sleep around I would just sleep around. If I don't do it when I'm single I'm not gonna do it while I'm in a relationship.
 

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No idea. I've never been in a polyamory relationship so I can't say. I'd definitely be down to try it if the opportunity ever presented itself. I'd most likely try this with a relationship that was more on the causal side however. That way if it isn't my cup of tea, no harm no foul, and I can walk away with no problems.
 

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That's true. I compared it to a tunnel (monogamy) vs. a web (polyamory). If the tunnel were one way though then...slurp, lol.

I guess I'm viewing it all idealistically. Because really you could be "monogamous" with someone who just takes, doesn't give and cheats on you. But you could also be in a "polyamorous" relationship, let's say a three way, where the other two are actually much more intimate, and cheating on you in that way. (Very unlikely that there is a perfect 50/50 distribution of intimacy and affection - three's a crowd. Though I like - was it Andy Warhol? Yes. Who said that one is company, two's a crowd, and three's a party, haha. So I can see energy feeling maximized in that sense).

Idk though. I guess part of the fun of a party to me is the chaos and unpredictability. Trying to apply trust and intimacy to that seems much more complicated and counterintuitive to me, and I prefer a little more simplicity in relationships. I like the idea of a sort of stability to then pursue complexity in other areas of life.

That's just me though. I'm sx dom. I'm really wondering how much that has to do with some of this. I think it could maybe relevant.
I see every relationship in my life as unique. It has its own level of love and intimacy. It's moot to compare them.
 
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I see every relationship in my life as unique. It has its own level of love and intimacy. It's moot to compare them.
I do too to an extent, and that's why I'd just prefer to have them all be my relationships - no need to involve them with each other necessarily, lol. I'd like to be the center of my own personal relationships rather than a cog in a clusterfuck (and I don't mean that disrespectfully, that's just what it feels like otherwise to me). Trying to cluster it all together is what I think creates a sort of hierarchy, because everyone will naturally have different levels of investment...at least, most probably and realistically.

I think that these need to exist a bit too though - personal hierarchies. You need to be able to prioritize, imo. I wouldn't want to miss my brother's wedding this fall because I decided to have a beer instead with the friend I met last week. Otherwise I'd never establish trust or dependability, and I wouldn't actually have real intimacy with anyone. So I guess you maybe agree in a sense with your wording of "level"? Or did I misinterpret that?
 

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I do too to an extent, and that's why I'd just prefer to have them all be my relationships - no need to involve them with each other necessarily, lol. I'd like to be the center of my own personal relationships rather than a cog in a clusterfuck (and I don't mean that disrespectfully, that's just what it feels like otherwise to me). Trying to cluster it all together is what I think creates a sort of hierarchy, because everyone will naturally have different levels of investment...at least, most probably and realistically.

I think that these need to exist a bit too though - personal hierarchies. You need to be able to prioritize, imo. I wouldn't want to miss my brother's wedding this fall because I decided to have a beer instead with the friend I met last week. Otherwise I'd never establish trust or dependability, and I wouldn't actually have real intimacy with anyone. So I guess you maybe agree in a sense with your wording of "level"? Or did I misinterpret that?
What I meant when I said "level of love and intimacy" was the intensity and/or depth of love I feel. Intimacy is how much I share emotionally. It has nothing to do with how I behave though. Most often, I place my blood relatives above anyone else including my partner but yeah, you're right. If I had more than one non-familial primary relationship, then I would have to find a way to balance them in a way. For example, if they were both available atm, who would I choose to spend time with? Ideally, I would want my hypothetical partners to be close friends too so we could hang out as a group whenever we had time. We would share an apartment or even a bed. That's how I want it but like I mentioned before my partner is very monogamous. They knew I have poly tendencies before getting into a relationship with me and they said they would be "ok" if I got another partner but obviously, they would never want to share me with another person especially not the scenario that I described.

I think prioritization would be easier if you partners also had other partners.
 

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I believe polyamory is the style for me. We've agreed with my partner of 6 years to allow other people in our lives.
I have a big heart and want to love a lot of people, I still love my ex and we are friendly. My partner knows how important this is for me, he doesn't want to contain me, and I want him to experience as much as he wants in life, which is of course to fuck a lot :p
The only problem is that we are both difficult when it comes to meeting and opening to others, so we haven't done anything in practice yet.
I've actually met a guy now who I'm crushing on, but he is in a relationship and I don't think he's willing to do something with me, even though he is clearly interested. I just hope it will turn into something else because my intuition tells me I have to have him in my life, and I've only felt like this 3 times in my life (with my ex, my current and him).
@TapudiPie how does it work to have a non-romantic relationship with someone? I mean, with my ex we're not having romantic interaction, but I would consider it in the sphere of "friends" and not something else like a non-romantic polyamorous relationship.
 
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