What's your view on Friendship?

1484 Views 25 Replies 14 Participants Last post by lolalalah, Apr 21, 2017

FaintStar

Discussion Starter · Apr 17, 2017 (Edited)

Hello,

I would like to know how do you treat your friends?
I have seen differences in how friends are treated by people of different cultures.
Example-
-- People from Asia and Middle East treat friends like extended family. They get invited to family events. Friends are made with the intention of being a friend for life. Spouses are also supposed to give them an important place in the family as they are considered part of family". Friends are sometimes the sounding board when one cannot discuss something with the SO or family. So there is a lot so trust, and closeness in these friendships. Friends are so visible in your life that a lot of people get to know who your close friends are after a while. Not to mention, the friendship comes with commitments too, such as sincerity, loyalty and helping out when all the chips are down...even if it might affect your own life.
These friendships transcend socio-economics barriers and they are not gender-related (i.e. Girls make more such friends than boys, etc.)
In a nutshell, friends become family and so you do not treat friendship lightly. ('I am talking about majority of friendships, not just anecdotal ones)

-- Friendship in the US doesn't seem to be like that, maybe unless these are your friends from kindergarten?? I don't know. I have seen very few such friendships in the US where the friend is like family. Usually, the GF/BF/SO, etc. become important and the friends are supposed to recede...I think most people know this, so they accept friendships based on this understanding.

I, myself, prefer the former type of friendships and so take a lot of time finding a good friend because people here are not so much into the 1st kind.

So what's your idea on friendship? Which kind do you prefer (Please elaborate if there are more kinds) and why?

Please understand that I am not referring to exceptions

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Marvin the Dendroid

· #7 · Apr 17, 2017

FaintStar said:
An example- Weddings in SouthEast Asia, have almost 1000 guests! (Only a couple of events are reserved for small number of guests and then it is usually very close friends that are invited, but they are invited. )These are not family only...a lot of them are friends...of the people getting married and the in-laws as well...but this is not an example of friendship..just an example of how "loose" the concept of family usually is..even good neighbors become family.
Again, in those cultures, food is always shared regardless of how little or how much one has.

...and you'll be ostracised if you'd rather not mingle with hundreds of people, many of them likely strangers to you. Rejecting Asian social tribalism makes you a pariah.

Personally, I tend to end up doing friends one at a time. Since family + friend means more than one person, I tend not to mix the two.

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Marvin the Dendroid

· #10 · Apr 17, 2017

FaintStar said:
The deeper intricate things are usually known to the closest of friends and they are sworn to secrecy

I've always found it exhausting to try to bridge my mind with more than one other mind at a time. When you add even just a third mind, there's simply too much interference for it to be worth the trouble for me. Most of the time.

I literally only hang out with one person at a time, whether they're family, friend or an acquaintance.

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