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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hello INFP's:

Some months ago, when I discovered that I'm an INFP, I started a self-discovery journey in order to improve myself to become a better person.

Since the beginning I realised that if I want to strengthen my weaknesess I had to be out of my confort zone. Until now I have had great improvements in areas like self-discipline, procrastination, money management, perfectionism, depression. I had to admit it wasn't easy but the results confirm me that the effort worth it

In certain way all those "confort zones" were managable because I knew since the beginning that facing them will help me to be better. But now I'm facing new kind of "confort zones" that are not as easy to me to face because I would have to betray some inner values to do it, let me give you an example.

Let's talk about love and sex(just to choose a topic to explain me, but can be any other), I have to admit that I haven't put to much effort in looking a girlfriend because I was very busy trying to make my dreams a reality. But now that I have made a lot of improvements in my life I feel I'm ready, as an INFP I would love to have a deep meaningful relationship, an INFP girl would be awesome for example.

but then some events happen to me that make me think a lot:

One friend told me he had casual sex with a friend (girl) of him, this girl had a boyfriend, they were engaged. This event make me think, what would I do in this situation?. My values would tell me "don't do this, she is engaged, poor guy he don't deserve this", but my curiosity (my Ne part looking new experiences) would say to me "ohh!, this is an interesting situation, my ego would be happy to know that this girl prefer me over his boyfriend, why not?". As you can see in this example, being out of confort zone mean betray some of my values.

Let me complement my idea. Another friend told me, he has a "friend with rights", this make me think: Would I accept this kind of relation?. As I read on this forum almost all INFP say to feel terrible after casual sex, except of two guys (I can't remember their nicks), they said they used their Ne function (curiosity, desire of new experiences) to face this kind of situation, and this approach make casual sex very enjoyable. One guy said: "why not, have become my best friend, and this gave me several life experiences I never imagine before". I don't know about you, but for me this sound VERY interesting, this can lead you to several interesting life experiences, which in certain way is a form to grow as a human being.

On another post on this forum, one guy recomend to another (who is depressed about the world) to use their Ne function to experience the world, because this help him to have a happier life, he said. I had use my Ne functions in other fields in the past and I agree this is a good strategy to be happier at least if you are an INFP.

I know having a meaningful relatioship would be awesome, but in this moment, I'm not sure if going the right way would be the correct way. If you know what I mean.

I'm sure this "betray of you values" behavior cannot be manteined in long term, but for sure can offer many interesting life experiences to learn that might worth it. I would appreciate other INFPs can share their opinions on this

PD: Just to be clear, I don't have any plans to break the law :) , do illegal things are not part of my life plan

Charly The Rabbit
 

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Oh, the thread title caught my attention,

Idunno about the sex stuff what to think and do anymore.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
The love and sex topic was used just to be clear, but can be on any other area.

For example, one of my core values is freedom, thats why I decided to open my own business, I dont feel confortableworking for others, I like to experiment and learn at my own pace even if it means to make mistakes. Ive been working alone for 4 years, but sometimes I feel a little envy when I see people having nice moments with collegues on their office, but I dont see my self as an employee. For sure that could be interesting life experience but that would mean to betray my value of freedom.

I hope this make more sense of what Im trying to face

Charly the Rabbit
 
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