[colysan]

So normally INTPs are known for their need for space,
we most certainly dislike clingy people.

Have you ever been clingy in a relationship? Why?

When you become insecure (about your emotions for example) do you tend to cling or pull back intuitively from a relationship?

How do you usually fix it when you notice you're clingy?

 

[Melodrama]

Well, the one relationship I was in, I was the exact opposite of clingy. My boyfriend, however, was beyond clingy. I couldn't stand it anymore, to the point where I was going out of my way to avoid him because I very much needed some space he just wouldn't allow. I was so happy when we broke it off - I felt as if I could breathe again.

When I become insecure, I tend to pull back. I never cling to people, I just avoid them. Which isn't really much better.

 

[JiminyCrick]

I became clingy for about 2 months one time but it's not my fault. When I started using birth control pills I changed into a completely different person then I am. I cried like every other day, I got really clingy and needy with my boyfriend, basically I became the stereotypical "girl," something I had never been before.

Good god, how shameful. Needless to say I now no longer take bcpills.

 

[nadjasix]

I became clingy for about 2 months one time but it's not my fault. When I started using birth control pills I changed into a completely different person then I am. I cried like every other day, I got really clingy and needy with my boyfriend, basically I became the stereotypical "girl," something I had never been before.

Good god, how shameful. Needless to say I now no longer take bcpills.

That shit is poison.

I seriously think it would be better for your life and relationships if you smoked crack instead.

What's strange is there are new IUDs that are safe, effective, and not hormone-based that you can leave in for as long as you want. In the U.S., they won't let you get one until you've already had kids. In other countries they hand them out for free to everybody.

 

[qingdom]

No. absolutely never. INTPs are self-sustainable creatures. They need not of this clinginess nor show it.

*Hug? Hug. Hug! *Hug* ::Hug:: (Hug) [Hug] {Hug}*

 

[Deathbagel]

I became clingy for about 2 months one time but it's not my fault. When I started using birth control pills I changed into a completely different person then I am. I cried like every other day, I got really clingy and needy with my boyfriend, basically I became the stereotypical "girl," something I had never been before.

Good god, how shameful. Needless to say I now no longer take bcpills.

You learn something new every day....

Damnit why can't we have magic pills that make us all temporarily infertile powerful super-geniuses, with no side-effects other than psychedelic pleasure... medicine is so disappointing.

 

[nadjasix]

You learn something new every day....

Damnit why can't we have magic pills that make us all temporarily infertile powerful super-geniuses, with no side-effects other than psychedelic pleasure... medicine is so disappointing.

Medicine isn't about making us better, it's about keeping us the same.

 

[qingdom]

Medicine isn't about making us better, it's about keeping us the same.

I beg to differ! There's always fruit flavored cyanide syrup.

*So about those super smart genius pills from limitless.... where can one obtain them?*

 

[Deathbagel]

Medicine isn't about making us better, it's about keeping us the same.

That seems a little over-the-top conspiracy theory-ish to me honestly..... I don't think there's some secret organization trying to control the masses through prescription drugs if that's what you're getting at, nor the government nor pharmaceuticals. That is to say, not yet at least, it's certainly foreseeable.

Or is that not what you meant...?

 

[nadjasix]

That seems a little over-the-top conspiracy theory-ish to me honestly..... I don't think there's some secret organization trying to control the masses through prescription drugs if that's what you're getting at, nor the government nor pharmaceuticals. That is to say, not yet at least, it's certainly foreseeable.

Or is that not what you meant...?

Siighhhhh...

Medicine isn't really about improving people or making them "intelligent", it's about keeping the body machine well-oiled.

It need not be a "conspiracy", it's just how medicine works.

The Yazmin debacle was not surprising.

 

[Nordom]

I think it's a function of our sticktohertiveness/sticktohimtiveness.

I become clingy when my mind isn't properly stimulated and my body just takes over.

 

[NeedsNewNameNow]

I may feel clingy inside, but when I do, I withdraw from the other person. I guess I do that to make sure they still want me around, and I'm not really being clingy in a way that affects them.

 

[Ista]

I occasionally go through clingy phases for a few days at a time. Mostly this happened in my early twenties though.

 

[Jennywocky]

Have you ever been clingy in a relationship?
No, not in action. I do feel the emotions though from time to time, intensely.

When you become insecure (about your emotions for example) do you tend to cling or pull back intuitively from a relationship?
Pull back, pretend I don't feel any clinginess.

How do you usually fix it when you notice you're clingy?
I have to work at having a moderate response and trust myself to engage while keeping healthy space.

Basically, I might feel like being clingy, might even on occasion feel desperate, but I will not allow myself to impose on another person that way because I think it's wrong. (because it imposes on them / inhibits their freedom / dominates them in some way, rather than giving them freedom to choose and respond). I will never allow myself to be a burden. Thus, I just pretend like I'm fine and suffer alone.

 

[The Phantom]

Medicine isn't about making us better, it's about keeping us the same.

Absolutely wonderful.

No, I'm not clingy, never have been.
Girlfriend things I'm cold.

*Poker face* :|

 

[Nordom]

The weird thing is - outside of relationships our momentary bouts of clinginess is usually seen as "charming" or "human."
The f types just love it because they want to see it way more often. It's the T types that we're afraid of showing that side of ourselves to because they don't show it as often either, even if they secretly welcome it. Generalizing of course, but the FP's I know love it when I need their attention.

 

[Empecinado]

I became clingy for about 2 months one time but it's not my fault. When I started using birth control pills I changed into a completely different person then I am. I cried like every other day, I got really clingy and needy with my boyfriend, basically I became the stereotypical "girl," something I had never been before.

Good god, how shameful. Needless to say I now no longer take bcpills.

I love that you say as if it was clinical illness.

 

[Perspicacious]

My INTP thinks she's clingy sometimes, but her version of what clingy is for herself is pretty much just average relationship behavior for everyone else.

For me there is a level of clingy that is too much, but she's never ever come close to that threshold.

She claims to like when I express a desire for her attention or feelings of possessiveness (this is never extreme, it's usually me admitting sheepishly that the idea of her with someone else makes me a little grumpy...which is abnormal for me having been perfectly capable of being in open relationships before). She says that unlike with most people, I don't give the impression that I'm entitled to her attention and time and that makes her want to give me her attention. I just have to let her know I want it, because sometimes she can be oblivious lol.

And absolutely, I love it when she wants my attention. You guys are really self-sufficient, it's nice to be able to do things for you.

 

[Magic Mirror]

I may feel clingy inside, but when I do, I withdraw from the other person. I guess I do that to make sure they still want me around, and I'm not really being clingy in a way that affects them.

Basically, I might feel like being clingy, might even on occasion feel desperate, but I will not allow myself to impose on another person that way because I think it's wrong. (because it imposes on them / inhibits their freedom / dominates them in some way, rather than giving them freedom to choose and respond). I will never allow myself to be a burden. Thus, I just pretend like I'm fine and suffer alone.

This is exactly what I do when I'm feeling clingy.

I may be totally obsessed about the other person, think about them 24/7, and feel like controlling their life so they could spend more time with me... but the more I feel like this, the more effort I'll put into hiding these feelings. I'll just suffer alone.

This is because I can't stand clingy people myself. I want - no, need - my personal space, independence and freedom, and the best way to make me run away is becoming clingy or needy. Therefore, I avoid doing it myself.

Of course, I've overdone this behavior. As a result, I've sometimes appeared uninterested or unattainable while I've been in fact totally obsessed with the other person, but I don't mind. The most significant, meaningful and compatible relationships in my life have resulted precisely because of my non-clingy behavior! The people most compatible with me (fellow NTs, actually) have stated they were attracted to my independence and non-clingy behavior because they'd had bad experiences with clingy people themselves.

 

[NeedsNewNameNow]

Of course, I've overdone this behavior. As a result, I've sometimes appeared uninterested or unattainable while I've been in fact totally obsessed with the other person, but I don't mind. The most significant, meaningful and compatible relationships in my life have resulted precisely because of my non-clingy behavior! The people most compatible with me (fellow NTs, actually) have stated they were attracted to my independence and non-clingy behavior because they'd had bad experiences with clingy people themselves.

Same here, currently in relationship with another INTP, but oddly even though neither of us acts clingy in an imposing way, it's hard to keep us apart. Often I think seeing a little more overt clinginess wouldn't be a bad thing. She probably feels the same since I'm usually the first to back off