A very common thing I tend to hear (and see) when it comes to eights is that what they do, achieve, say, etc, often enough can make people proud of this eight, or it makes others intimidated, annoyed, etc, though the 'strength' with which an eight can push things forward can in my eyes often garner some form of respect from others, but I'm wondering where you stand yourselves. Perspectives differ and I can imagine that when it's easy to assert yourself and push things through; that achievements that result from that aren't as great as others make them out to be, or at least that is my guess.
Thanks for this great question Vive. I'll start by saying that it may not be exactly how you think it is. First, some things about myself. I haven't accomplished much in my life--so I can't easily comment on my "achievements", as you say. Maybe some people would think I have; yet I am not currently satisfied. I've spent much of my life goofing off as an ENTP does--taking too long to get a degree, failing socially/sexually/interpersonally/professionally, spending years traveling, being sick for years on end, being depressed, taking care of legal issues against me, dealing with the deaths of family members...when I look at my life I see a long string of isolation, failures, and dissatisfaction. I own nothing, I'm unemployed, I'm chronically single and alone in every sense, I have no family, I'm in debt; I'm reaching midlife with nothing to show for it.
So in one respect, you're right--my achievements aren't as great as others may make them out to be. Byron once said, "It sparkles but near the brim"...that's true of my life. Someone might see it as this wonderful adventure story, filled with travel and struggle and derring do and think it's just the bees knees... To me, it feels like just survival--not that this doesn't matter. It does. In some ways, I feel I'm really the only person worth listening to since I've dealt with so much. In other ways, well, let me elaborate while answering your questions below.
When do you believe you deserve your own respect?
On principle, I don't know. I don't really have a rubric that I can check off that tells me when I can respect myself.
Instead, I would again point to the difficulties I've endured (ALONE, I might add, under circumstances that would have broken most people in half) and say that this is why I think more highly of myself than I do of most others. Because people couldn't deal with HALF of one episode in my life, not even for one day...let alone the entire thing. I've mentally accorded myself many medals, honors, and other decorations to commemorate my own struggles and victories.
So, to try to answer the question...I guess my strength and capacity to prevail is when I believe I deserve my own respect. And, because I've operated above and beyond on this front, I accord myself high respect.
What makes you proud of yourself and are those things similar to the actions or words other people respect you for?
I think I address this question both above and below. Let me just add that, for reasons I think relate to my instinctual stacking, there are certainly areas of my life I've forcibly ignored...and I regret this now, and
in ways different from what I mentioned about the struggle for survival, actually think of myself as LESS than who I want to be.
I mention this because my mother actually tends to harp on what I've endured in life, more than I actually do--while my war decorations are things of immense pride for me, I have other priorities in life, and right now, I only see how I've let myself down in those ways. So although I respect myself more than anyone for enduring my life, it has limited coverage I guess you could say. Does that make sense? Probably not. Welp.
Do you think you often get misplaced admiration from others, and when does that happen?
Only on PerC and other online forums. That is literally the only place I've heard my type deified to the degree it has been. Irl, in the non-enneagram world, I don't feel that I get much admiration from others. I see myself more as a scruffy unwanted animal trying to hold out just one more day in a junkyard somewhere, against the odds, than anything admirable--and being objective, there just isn't much evidence to the contrary.
Quite honestly, the only times people have ever admired me has either been through my artwork, or my so-called "moral values" (which is basically stupid people reading their own principles into my actions and statements). Both of these things make me want to punch people. I really hate being admired, but all the more so for "moral values". (It's not any sort of modesty, as you may gather from my prior statements...it just creeps me out to be admired and to have people think I have "moral values".)
I don't know if that is even what you were looking for, but that's my bit.