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Discussion Starter #1
So recently I've been crushing hard on this ISFP. She has shown some (?) signs that she's interested, at least from what I can tell. I really haven't been that adept with interpreting social cues to be honest. :rolleyes:

The thing is, I can't tell whether she's being friendly or not. She laughs at all of my jokes, pokes me, and this may sound weird, but she also stretches her legs in my direction whenever we sit across from each other. Maybe it's just me overthinking it. Whenever I message her, it just feels like she puts in no effort to continue to conversation, in addition to the fact that I'm always the one to initiate. But when we meet in person, she has no trouble talking with me constantly, but of course, that's with company.

I just need an objective perspective of this, as I am just too emotionally involved to even try anymore.
 

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I relate a little too much to your description of her reaction.
She knows that if she were to initiate conversation it would be taken as a sign of interest. So if she is interested, she is either trying not to make it obvious, or (in most cases) she doesn't know how to react to the advances.
I'd suggest give her time to let her Fi figure things out.
Don't mistake her lack of texting for lack of interest. If you really wanna know how she feels about you, you only need to rely on her reaction when she's around you.
I'm currently text avoiding as well, helps balance out my reaction when I actually meet the person. This way I don't appear disinterested or interested, just indecisive XD which I know is frustrating to deal with, but we're not pretending at least. What you see is what we feel.
Initiate frequent meetings if you can, will definitely make it harder for her to avoid her feelings.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Thanks, but just to clarify, what do you mean to "rely on her reaction when she's around?"

And I'm not sure if this means anything, but when it's just the two of us, she seems to avoid eye contact but doesn't really mind it when in a group setting.
 

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Thanks, but just to clarify, what do you mean to "rely on her reaction when she's around?"

And I'm not sure if this means anything, but when it's just the two of us, she seems to avoid eye contact but doesn't really mind it when in a group setting.
There is a lot I could cover but I don't wanna confuse you, so I'll try and stick to what matters.

I'm gonna assume that you're dealing with an extremely shy ISFP.

I'm also assuming that she is well aware of your feelings towards her, probably even before you acted on them (I honestly feel we have a radar for this).

Now,

how long have you known her? (again I'm assuming not too long)
You have never hung out outside a group setting, right?
Take this (her preferring group setting over just the two of you) as an indirect way of telling you that she feels the friendship is still in its initial stage, and she would like to get to know you better. Unfortunately this curveball got thrown in- which in your crush on her and she now feels put in a spot where she has to make up her mind on how she feels about you. BUT since she doesn't know you all that well she's unable to reach a conclusion. So a group setting becomes her safe zone. If it were just the two of you it would be taken as either a date or a really intimate friendship- which you haven't reached yet.

Why are we too cautious?

Once we do invest in a relationship and it doesn't work out, the whole experience f's up our pathetically fragile Fi, and we'd obviously like to avoid that.

So what happens internally when we're unsure of our feelings toward someone?

Like NTJs we too have a tendency to overthink, but its not limited to analyzing interactions that already took place. We analyze everything.
I.E. we experience an Fi Ni loop which could go on for days (especially when we need to make up our minds on how we feel), in which we analyze everything from what he/she noticed, what made him/her fall in love, to, are we compatible?...we have this in common, we'll surely disagree on this, will we still be together if this happens? What if we move in together? Basically we've lived out everything even if nothing happens.

Remember, Fi is her dom function, not Fe. So expressing her feelings verbally is gonna be very difficult, so pay attention to her actions, non-verbal cues.
The best way to win an ISFP heart is to give them time and space.
I mentioned earlier that I was text avoiding someone (just so you know how much we "truly" enjoy texting) its been a month since I last saw him, and we've conversed thrice since, so just 3 long convos in a month.
In the beginning itself he realized how important personal space is to me and the fact that he was willing to wait and let me figure out how I feel (which rarely happens) has made me appreciate him more, my feelings are definitely moving in his favor.

Getting to your question
How does she behave in your presence? We're known for being cordial to everyone, but if there's someone we're genuinely interested, our most obvious move is to steal glances. We try to be as discreet as possible, but if you catch it then don't doubt yourself, the interest is there.
Animated interaction. Like I said earlier, we're generally very friendly and tend to smile a lot (due to shyness/nervousness/happiness whatever) when we interact. But if we're animated in them, then thats a surefire sign that we're comfortable with the person. If we act goofy, then we're a bit too comfortable. Didn't she poke you? That's a sign right there.

Hope this helps.
 

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Discussion Starter #6 (Edited)
Your previous post was very helpful, thanks! But just wondering, do ISFPs happen to be very touchy feely? I've noticed her to hug her good friends but she pats me quite often, even though my relationship with her is nowhere near that. She tends to ask really random questions when we're alone, like whether I'm claustrophobic etc. Eye contact with her is just so iffy - looks me dead in the eye sometimes but also tends to look at me and then look away when I'm talking to her.

Sorry for the bother, appreciate it.
 

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You should have tagged me. I didn't see your reply until now XD

Yes we are very touchy feely when comfortable with people. Yes, it can get confusing, since if I feel affection towards someone (even animals) I express it via touch. The distinction- I feel the only way you'll find out is if you ask her directly. If she takes half as long as some of us to draw conclusions, she'll tell you she doesn't know yet/ still confused/ unsure.

So my advice would be to wait it out. Get to know her really well, be friends long enough, and if you're still interested then ask her. She would have made up her mind by then.

Any silly talk/q&a is always a good sign. Its a trick to get more comfortable with people using the most innocent of innocent questions. Neat right? ;)

I don't pay attention to eye contact, but since *eyes are the key to ones soul* I'm bound to safeguard the key when the questions get too personal.
 

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i'm in the same situation as yourself
i'm a customer at her workplace. we'll exchange witty banter for a long time. She seems pretty sociable, sharing personal info etc.. i felt really optimistic
Then through text messages, nothing

seems more like a friendly/cordial relationship than anything more at this point. Life's too short for worrying though, so carry on
 

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Discussion Starter #9
@DLila (is this how you tag?) I have no idea how to tag here lol

So I recently found out that she's in a long distance relationship and I've sort of backed off as I don't want to be the wedge, so to speak. She also did say that she would never date someone of the same sex due to a rather unfortunate experience and I absolutely respect that.

I think that the friendship we have right now is pretty cool, and I'm happy to keep that. My bias for her might have lead my senses to over-exaggerate some of her physical motions, which really isn't all that weird. After all, crushes are weird, right? But thank you for all your help, you've been awesome!
 

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I imagine crushing on an ISFP is very confusing. I'm ISFP and I find it extremely difficult to communicate any sort of interest in anyone, let alone a girl I like. To be honest, the few experiences I have had with girls have been when she was the one doing most of the work.

Remember that we're more observant than interactive. If you like an ISFP, my advice is to go up to them and see how they receive you. Don't try to play cool, just be yourself, we can tell if you are being fake. The less afraid you are to show your artsy/eccentric side, the more we will appreciate you.
 
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