When do you think 20s became too young for marriage in Western culture?

My parents' generation, southern-roots had influence, many got married at 16, or in some states, younger.

I've done research, and the big push for the majority to wait until 30s or 40s--including having kids late--was middle-class women entering the workforce en masse after getting degrees, which is the trend now only marriage isn't top of the list for later, any more.

When I was in San Diego the last time around, many neighbors were hooking up, moving in together or not (renting), and then buying a condo or house and not marrying.

It was like a business deal that they could sever whenever they wanted--very practical move, which is how the wealthy used to do it before 'suing each other' became the norm.

That's my observation, and of course there are stats to back it up for those who are into it.

I think it's a good idea to wait till your in your late 20s at the earliest to start getting married. To me getting married as early as your early 20s is taking away opportunities to have freedom and find that right personn. I don't view high school sweethearts as 100% reliable to go off and marry right away.

But it does depend on the person and love can be funny so idk.

I can see the stigma of people in their early 20's getting married, but many people I know are getting married and having kids in their mid to late 20's. Maybe it's just the rural Midwest. I know I'm looking to propose soon and I'm 28 and she's 26. I think the trend to marry a bit later is mainly with college educated people. I mean a lot of my friends who have got married and are having kids didn't go to college and started their lives on their own at 18. Even if they got married at 22-23, that's 4-5 years to get established in the real world. If you get out of college at 22-23, 4-5 years from that is 27-28. It's just shifting it a bit.

The stigma against people getting married before 30 is actually pretty ignorant if you ask me.

Contrary to popular belief, the median age of first marriage in the US, for both genders, has not surpassed 30 yet. Currently, it's 29 for men and 27 for women. (Interestingly enough, the average age of first birth for women in the US is even younger (26) than the age of first marriage)
Even among individual states, even in the Northeast, there is no state where the average age of first marriage for women is 30 or above. There are some where the average age of first marriage for men is 30, but none for women.

Alabama
Women: 26.1
Men: 27.8

Alaska
Women: 25.5
Men: 28.2

Arizona
Women: 26.7
Men: 28.7

Arkansas
Women: 25.1
Men: 26.7

California
Women: 27.9
Men: 29.9

Colorado
Women: 26.5
Men: 28.6

Connecticut
Women: 28.7
Men: 30.4

Delaware
Women: 28
Men: 29.7

Florida
Women: 27.8
Men: 29.9

Georgia
Women: 26.8
Men: 28.7

Hawaii
Women: 26.7
Men: 28.3

Idaho
Women: 24.7
Men: 26.2

Illinois
Women: 27.9
Men: 29.7

Indiana
Women: 26.4
Men: 28

Iowa
Women: 25.9
Men: 27.8

Kansas
Women: 25.7
Men: 27.3

Kentucky
Women: 25.7
Men: 27.4

Louisiana
Women: 27.3
Men: 28.9

Maine
Women: 27.3
Men: 29.2

Maryland
Women: 28.1
Men: 29.9

Massachusetts
Women: 29.3
Men: 30.5

Michigan
Women: 27.3
Men: 29.4

Minnesota
Women: 26.9
Men: 28.9

Mississippi
Women: 26.3
Men: 28

Missouri
Women: 26.5
Men: 28

Montana
Women: 26
Men: 28.4

Nebraska
Women: 26
Men: 27.5

Nevada
Women: 26.6
Men: 28.8

New Hampshire
Women: 27.2
Men: 29.5

New Jersey
Women: 28.6
Men: 30.4

New Mexico
Women: 26.8
Men: 28.5

New York
Women: 29.1
Men: 30.6

North Carolina
Women: 26.6
Men: 28.5

North Dakota
Women: 26
Men: 27.5

Ohio
Women: 26.9
Men: 28.9

Oklahoma
Women: 25.2
Men: 26.8

Oregon
Women: 27.1
Men: 29

Pennsylvania
Women: 28
Men: 29.7

Puerto Rico
Women: 28.4
Men: 30

Rhode Island
Women: 29
Men: 30.5

South Carolina
Women: 27.3
Men: 28.8

South Dakota
Women: 25.8
Men: 27.8

Tennessee
Women: 26.1
Men: 27.8

Texas
Women: 26.1
Men: 27.8

Utah
Women: 23.8
Men: 25.9

Vermont
Women: 27.8
Men: 30.2

Virginia
Women: 26.3
Men: 29.0

Washington
Women: 26.4
Men: 28.5

West Virginia
Women: 26
Men: 27.9

Wisconsin
Women: 27
Men: 29

Wyoming
Women: 25.2
Men: 26.8

SlyCooper97 said:

The stigma against people getting married before 30 is actually pretty ignorant if you ask me.

Contrary to popular belief, the median age of first marriage in the US, for both genders, has not surpassed 30 yet. Currently, it's 29 for men and 27 for women. (Interestingly enough, the average age of first birth for women in the US is even younger (26) than the age of first marriage)
Even among individual states, even in the Northeast, there is no state where the average age of first marriage for women is 30 or above. There are some where the average age of first marriage for men is 30, but none for women.

Alabama
Women: 26.1
Men: 27.8

Alaska
Women: 25.5
Men: 28.2

Arizona
Women: 26.7
Men: 28.7

Arkansas
Women: 25.1
Men: 26.7

California
Women: 27.9
Men: 29.9

Colorado
Women: 26.5
Men: 28.6

Connecticut
Women: 28.7
Men: 30.4

Delaware
Women: 28
Men: 29.7

Florida
Women: 27.8
Men: 29.9

Georgia
Women: 26.8
Men: 28.7

Hawaii
Women: 26.7
Men: 28.3

Idaho
Women: 24.7
Men: 26.2

Illinois
Women: 27.9
Men: 29.7

Indiana
Women: 26.4
Men: 28

Iowa
Women: 25.9
Men: 27.8

Kansas
Women: 25.7
Men: 27.3

Kentucky
Women: 25.7
Men: 27.4

Louisiana
Women: 27.3
Men: 28.9

Maine
Women: 27.3
Men: 29.2

Maryland
Women: 28.1
Men: 29.9

Massachusetts
Women: 29.3
Men: 30.5

Michigan
Women: 27.3
Men: 29.4

Minnesota
Women: 26.9
Men: 28.9

Mississippi
Women: 26.3
Men: 28

Missouri
Women: 26.5
Men: 28

Montana
Women: 26
Men: 28.4

Nebraska
Women: 26
Men: 27.5

Nevada
Women: 26.6
Men: 28.8

New Hampshire
Women: 27.2
Men: 29.5

New Jersey
Women: 28.6
Men: 30.4

New Mexico
Women: 26.8
Men: 28.5

New York
Women: 29.1
Men: 30.6

North Carolina
Women: 26.6
Men: 28.5

North Dakota
Women: 26
Men: 27.5

Ohio
Women: 26.9
Men: 28.9

Oklahoma
Women: 25.2
Men: 26.8

Oregon
Women: 27.1
Men: 29

Pennsylvania
Women: 28
Men: 29.7

Puerto Rico
Women: 28.4
Men: 30

Rhode Island
Women: 29
Men: 30.5

South Carolina
Women: 27.3
Men: 28.8

South Dakota
Women: 25.8
Men: 27.8

Tennessee
Women: 26.1
Men: 27.8

Texas
Women: 26.1
Men: 27.8

Utah
Women: 23.8
Men: 25.9

Vermont
Women: 27.8
Men: 30.2

Virginia
Women: 26.3
Men: 29.0

Washington
Women: 26.4
Men: 28.5

West Virginia
Women: 26
Men: 27.9

Wisconsin
Women: 27
Men: 29

Wyoming
Women: 25.2
Men: 26.8

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Cool stats! Thanks. Some people even make a big deal about late 20s getting married. I can understand early 20s to an extent, but saying late 20s is too young for marriage and kids is just silly.

Most stigma is directed at high school sweethearts or college age individuals, which makes sense as these tend to be transitional periods in people's lives. If you're over 21 and have dated your partner for 2 years or more no one bats an eye at a proposal or marriage.

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Verizzles said:

Most stigma is directed at high school sweethearts or college age individuals, which makes sense as these tend to be transitional periods in people's lives. If you're over 21 and have dated your partner for 2 years or more no one bats an eye at a proposal or marriage.

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People made a big deal about this Youtuber getting married and he is 23.

NicoLynne said:

People made a big deal about this Youtuber getting married and he is 23.

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To counter people have pushed Marzia and Felix(PewDiePie) to marry since Marzia was like 21/22. People are gonna comment on someone's decisions regardless of how old they are if they're celebrities. In day to day life, I have yet to come across it.

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To answer the specific question

I noticed in my childhood (I was 6 in 1990-2000 I was 16) that it was a HUGE shift that seemed very split. So my mom was generation Jones (tail end of gen baby boomer/front end of gen x) aged 19 when she had me. When she did that, without direct stats, just observation it was about 50-60% of women in her generation were still marrying and having children before aged 25. Growing up there was a clear presence however though of women who were older parents/married.

So if my mom had me in 80s and it was about 50-60% women marryingrior to age 25. I think based off observation the huge generational transition on women waiting was the 90s. When it was probably the majority waited and that shifted. Probably becoming more so 60-50% waiting til after aged 25.

By the time 2000s came (so I was 16+) by far majority switch to my generation pursuing education and career before marriage and children and waiting til after 25 by majority. From observation it seems more like it's 75-60% of women had kids and married after aged 25. I have a pretty good way to observe this. Just measuring myself against peers in my age. I had my eldest in 2003 at aged 19. Now she is 14. Obviously I am at plenty of parental things. I am a clear minority as far as my age group raising her age group. Definitely one of the few youngest parents raising her aged group. Probably only about 25-40% of us who did this before aged 25. Also I can just measure this against my group of friends. I am the ONLY one who had my kids before age 25. Not the only one who got pregnant just for the record, the only one who decided not to abort though. <---- that is also a reality in this shift. As far as it just becoming more socially acceptable. Shifting these numbers over the years.

As a 30 year old I think the best age to have kids is late 20s to early-mid 30s so around my age. Late 30s is getting a bit too old generally but it's still ok if you're under 40. You're still young enough but not THAT young, mature enough to be a real adult. The reality is generally it's better if people don't have kids in their early 20s and maybe even mid 20s. 28/29 is old enough but 22/23 is a bit too young still in a lot of cases. There's too much instability then and that could be bad for the child growing up. I've seen this happen first hand and I'm glad my parents were stable and in their 30s when they had me. I didn't have to worry about having immature parents. I've seen these people who had 20 year old mothers who got divorced 3 times before 30 and basically grew up with these dumb kids as their parents. I'm glad I had mature adult parents. Now some people my age did have kids in their early 20s and have ended up being good parents but the basic idea is generally I think a child is better off with a mother who has them at age 30 than at age 20.

briand515 said:

As a 30 year old I think the best age to have kids is late 20s to early-mid 30s so around my age. Late 30s is getting a bit too old generally but it's still ok if you're under 40. You're still young enough but not THAT young, mature enough to be a real adult. The reality is generally it's better if people don't have kids in their early 20s and maybe even mid 20s. 28/29 is old enough but 22/23 is a bit too young still in a lot of cases. There's too much instability then and that could be bad for the child growing up. I've seen this happen first hand and I'm glad my parents were stable and in their 30s when they had me. I didn't have to worry about having immature parents. I've seen these people who had 20 year old mothers who got divorced 3 times before 30 and basically grew up with these dumb kids as their parents. I'm glad I had mature adult parents. Now some people my age did have kids in their early 20s and have ended up being good parents but the basic idea is generally I think a child is better off with a mother who has them at age 30 than at age 20.

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Sort of disagree here.
I do agree that Late 20s Early 30s would be the ideal age to have kids these days, but back in the '80s and '90s when most of us were born, the ideal would've been Mid-Late 20s, as a lot of the financial risks for having kids today didn't exist back then.
Plus there were less Boomers and Xers going to college, and more of them instead joining the military. Military parents become financially stable a lot quicker than college parents do, many of my classmates, including me, have parents that were in their Early 20s or even 19 when they had them or their oldest sibling, and they still grew up in a financially stable environment because their parents had the financial benefits of being in the military (I live near an air force base)

But other than that, I do agree that, at least these days, Late 20s Early 30s is ideal for kids. Mid 30s I'd say for children born later in birth order, but not for firstborn. Late 30s is too old, kids born to parents in Late 30s are more likely to be stillborn or have health issues or disabilities than those that have them at an earlier age, plus their parents would become elderly very early in their life.

SlyCooper97 said:

.

Sort of disagree here.
I do agree that Late 20s Early 30s would be the ideal age to have kids these days, but back in the '80s and '90s when most of us were born, the ideal would've been Mid-Late 20s, as a lot of the financial risks for having kids today didn't exist back then.
Plus there were less Boomers and Xers going to college, and more of them instead joining the military. Military parents become financially stable a lot quicker than college parents do, many of my classmates, including me, have parents that were in their Early 20s or even 19 when they had them or their oldest sibling, and they still grew up in a financially stable environment because their parents had the financial benefits of being in the military (I live near an air force base)

But other than that, I do agree that, at least these days, Late 20s Early 30s is ideal for kids. Mid 30s I'd say for children born later in birth order, but not for firstborn. Late 30s is too old, kids born to parents in Late 30s are more likely to be stillborn or have health issues or disabilities than those that have them at an earlier age, plus their parents would become elderly very early in their life.

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Yeah it's not that different anyways. 25/26 is alright, that's a lot better than 20. I was mostly saying that early 20s or certainly late teens is a lot of times not a good idea, but if yeah you're mid 20s and out of college and have a real job that's fine. Late 30s is getting too old but my mom was 38 when I was born and I know some other people that had 38 year old mothers and it ended up fine. Late 30s is definitely too old for first born but if you're the last born it's still ok and not all that big of a deal if a mom decides to have another kid then imo. I don't think people should have any more kids however after 40 like I said. I guess it's better to say generally you should aim to have your kids within the mid 20s to mid 30s range overall.