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Now, I'm trying to get into songwriting since several years of observation have taught me that the only way I seem to be truly capable of expressing myself is written words and music. But that's not the topic of this content...

I was attempting to write my first song and I figured the best way to come up with the lyrics is to formulate a question and have a discussion with myself about it. Then, I would discern the lyrics from the resulting conversation. Turns out, writing is the best way for me to express myself and my situations.

This is what happens when I try to clear my head, I'm interested in what people say and more importantly how they can help me.
[HR][/HR]

What is the problem?
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I don't know...
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YES YOU DO!!!
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Stop hiding it.
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Very well.
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I'm having trouble understanding who I am....
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Is that it?
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no.
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Then what else.
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My whole life I simply wanted to understand.
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Understand what?
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Well... Everything I have an interest in.
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There's nothing wrong with that.
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I know but that's not what is troubling me.
What's troubling me is that the one thing I find the most important of all, I have trouble understanding the details of.
Throw particle physics, music, programming, 3D modeling, chemistry, geology, or anything else I have an interest in and with enough interest, time, research, and motivation I can understand them.
But for some reason I can't understand myself. It's maddening you see, My mind is very relentless and cannot stop until it figures out every intricate detail and pattern of the current subject and topic.
It feels like everytime I find an answer I just get more questions or the answer is incomplete. I have never met anything I can't eventually figure out, you would think I would be able to understand myself.
It hurts not knowing.
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Mabey the topic of human personality is too complex...
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IMPOSSIBLE!!!
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Let me rephrase...
Mabey human personality is just too random and unpredictable.
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Everything has a cause and effect.
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No, you're right.
But it would take ages to understand all of them.
Honestly, it's probably not worth your time.
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Mabey you're right and I have pondered the idea of giving up on finding out who I am.
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I didnt say that.
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Then what are you suggesting?
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I'm suggesting you just be yourself and stop worring about the details too much.
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You know how hard that would be for me.
GIVING UP on one of my interest is against my nature in EVERY WAY, it would be direct defiance of who I am....
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Hahahahaha!
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Whats so fluffing funny....
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See you do know more about yourself then you let on.
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What?
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You just said that giving up on an interest is in direct defiance of your personality in every way.
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So
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You know what your problem is...
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?
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You're so wraped up in the details that you can't see the bigger picture.
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I can't help it, it just who I am.
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There you go again.....
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Look....
I know its hard for someone like you, but when are you going to relize that, if you don't let this endless pursuit go it will destroy you?
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Knowing me... probably after it's to late.
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Please don't let it go that far.
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...I'll try.

[HR][/HR]
 
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