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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all :)

A somewhat downbeat topic to discuss today - when your Ne goes horribly horribly wrong.

As our secondary function, Ne can take the lead in some situations - indeed if you try and put yourself out there and socialize, this is virtually inevitable. However, I find from observation that our Ne is different from an ENFPs in that it can quite easily cock up.

Instead of being someone who is fun to be around, you instead provoke irritation and annoyance without realising it in the instant. If you realise it yourself, a gradual retreat into yourself is inevitable and if people suddenly turn on you about your irritating ways, an instant hermit-crab like withdrawal follows. It happened with me a couple of months ago, I ended up going from being chatty to refusing to talk for the next hour as I tried to work out some way in which I could say something and it wouldn't result in being mocked.

Fair play, I am a weird person and not for everyone but I hate it that I can go wrong in this way and end up acheiving the opposite of what I want to.

Anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with it?

Cheers,
Jack:D
 

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@adverseaffects That sounds about right... and I hate myself for allowing it to happen afterwards. But like I said, my reasoning just goes and I look backwards afterwards and cringe then start avoiding people.
When you are really using Ne, you will not even be thinking of such things, because it is not self-conscious and so the behavior would not be so sticky "trying so hard" for other people's benefit. It is trying to force Ne that is causing this glitch... when I get Ne, it's like a free ride with my brain turned off.
When Ne goes wrong for me, what happens is I offend someone by being too free with my opinion/humor, but because I am using it, I don't care ;D
But i want to let you know, I perfectly understand exactly what you are talking about and i know exactly how it feels. I don't know the exact remedy, there is no solution, but it has something to do with expecting yourself and the rest will follow, a paradoxical training to stop trying so hard to be certain things and then you will be the things you want to be. blah blah blah /advice
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
When you are really using Ne, you will not even be thinking of such things, because it is not self-conscious and so the behavior would not be so sticky "trying so hard" for other people's benefit. It is trying to force Ne that is causing this glitch... when I get Ne, it's like a free ride with my brain turned off.
When Ne goes wrong for me, what happens is I offend someone by being too free with my opinion/humor, but because I am using it, I don't care ;D
But i want to let you know, I perfectly understand exactly what you are talking about and i know exactly how it feels. I don't know the exact remedy, there is no solution, but it has something to do with expecting yourself and the rest will follow, a paradoxical training to stop trying so hard to be certain things and then you will be the things you want to be. blah blah blah /advice
Hehe, I'm always up for a bit of that good old fashioned Adverseaffects advice! :)
I think then this is Ne going so far, then being trainwrecked by Fi kicking in again. I get you on Ne, it works fine most of the time and as you described - especially when it combines with my Fe then I'm virtually hyper (why I miss acting). But if Fi suddenly got jerked back in... owww introspection.
 

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Hehe, I'm always up for a bit of that good old fashioned Adverseaffects advice! :)
I think then this is Ne going so far, then being trainwrecked by Fi kicking in again. I get you on Ne, it works fine most of the time and as you described - especially when it combines with my Fe then I'm virtually hyper (why I miss acting). But if Fi suddenly got jerked back in... owww introspection.
Why can't they just work in sync all the time? :(
 

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You've pinpointed my eternal struggle, and I've found that unless I'm being objective and fair-minded (not playing puppet to my emotions), I get jittery and nervous and insecure around people I don't know well. Using Te helps me bring myself back "down to earth". Being objective, I can remember how to use good ol' boundaries. As in, I appreciate and enjoy your company, but you don't dictate my actions or my mood. Recognizing that I'm over here, and you're over there. It's an exercise in self-respect. People respond to me better, and it's easier for me to relax and open up knowing that if someone does me wrong its because they're being a jackass, and not because of something relating to my own insecurity. But having boundaries doesn't mean blocking out your emotions or becoming standoffish and rude. It's okay to have boundaries and be kind and polite in social situations.
 

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You've pinpointed my eternal struggle, and I've found that unless I'm being objective and fair-minded (not playing puppet to my emotions), I get jittery and nervous and insecure around people I don't know well. Using Te helps me bring myself back "down to earth". Being objective, I can remember how to use good ol' boundaries. As in, I appreciate and enjoy your company, but you don't dictate my actions or my mood. Recognizing that I'm over here, and you're over there. It's an exercise in self-respect. People respond to me better, and it's easier for me to relax and open up knowing that if someone does me wrong its because they're being a jackass, and not because of something relating to my own insecurity. But having boundaries doesn't mean blocking out your emotions or becoming standoffish and rude. It's okay to have boundaries and be kind and polite in social situations.
Oh my god, you're a better version of myself.
 

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You've pinpointed my eternal struggle, and I've found that unless I'm being objective and fair-minded (not playing puppet to my emotions), I get jittery and nervous and insecure around people I don't know well. Using Te helps me bring myself back "down to earth". Being objective, I can remember how to use good ol' boundaries. As in, I appreciate and enjoy your company, but you don't dictate my actions or my mood. Recognizing that I'm over here, and you're over there. It's an exercise in self-respect. People respond to me better, and it's easier for me to relax and open up knowing that if someone does me wrong its because they're being a jackass, and not because of something relating to my own insecurity. But having boundaries doesn't mean blocking out your emotions or becoming standoffish and rude. It's okay to have boundaries and be kind and polite in social situations.
-----I agree, and there seems to be some kind of internal balancing of Fi and Fe (for me). I tend to get in trouble with group-oriented folk because they tend to demand conformity--at the expense of the individual. Since I believe in responding in kind and reserving my caring for those who are themselves caring, I don't feel the slightest twinge of guilt for cutting across a T's feelings in order to establish my personal boundaries. Well, maybe with INTJs I feel a little guilt. But, for the most part, I think it is hypocritical to cut thoughtlessly across other people's feelings and then expect for your feelings to be treated with delicacy. I am somewhat the same with ESFJs--since I think it's hypocritical to tell everyone what to do (because you think you're right) when you wouldn't stand that behavior yourself for one second. The rest of the SFs I make a valiant effort for. The people with whom I really do try to get along are NF Fe-users. I get along fine with the INFJs I've met IRL, but I often wonder if there is a way to validate that perception. I did get some really good advice from the INFJs in their forum to that end.
-----So now that I talked about everything but, I can talk about Ne *winks*. The expression of Ne is for me blocked around Sensors and in all groups except my NF group. So there's not much of an opportunity for it to go haywire. When I do feel free to express my Ne, I find that it's helpful to briefly discuss the INFP "informing" style before letting loose. Other Ne and Ni users will try to read into your words intent that isn't there--unless you tell them not to. That brief little piece of information can really make a difference in a non-T group (and if it makes a difference in a T group, I'm not sure whether I could tell).
-----BTW, kyliecarefree, there is nothing in the above that has any intent or motivation whatsoever--it's just information to do with what you please. LOL.
 
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I think my Ne makes me prone to reading too much into things. Rather than actually being annoying to others, I am more likely to think that I am annoying to others, because I read too much into their behaviour and become paranoid. I also think that my ability to see patterns everywhere makes me more prone to believe in and generate conspiracy theories, so I've found that I need to keep my mind on a tight leash otherwise it just runs amok!
 

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Rather than actually being annoying to others, I am more likely to think that I am annoying to others, because I read too much into their behaviour and become paranoid. I also think that my ability to see patterns everywhere makes me more prone to believe in and generate conspiracy theories, so I've found that I need to keep my mind on a tight leash otherwise it just runs amok!
Oh my god is that what this is...
actually, I think this is an fi-si loop using Ne to back of the ideas Fi already holds due to past selected information.. if ne was being used stronger than si I do not think this would happen because there would be such a flow of information in different directions the conspiracy would be blown apart, but when we are have a pre-concieved idea and then use ne to confirm these patterns, this is when this happens, perhaps?
 

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Ne without a judging function = "Ne gone wrong"

So technically, it's not really Ne that goes wrong... It's when Ne goes out of control that "things go wrong". Other than that, ya'll given enough examples that are correct, I think. ^^

The case of becoming paranoid / conspiracy theories etc I think is somewhat Fi-Si, but more Ne combined with either insecure F/T making logically bad judgments. I think it could run off into an Fi-Si loop, but then we're talking real paranoia, (close to) clinically unhealthy. Hm hm, interesting. :3

A good read: http://personalitycafe.com/articles/84275-cognitive-function-ne-vs-ni.html
 
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