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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
does it bother you?

It bothers me a LOT.

When people say things like "you know so much about____" or "youre so smart" . I just feel really bothered by this for some reason. I DONT KNOW WHY. lately this has been happening to me more often, and i can't emphasize enough how much this bothers me.

I stopped saying things like "No" or trying to deflect the compliments because i realized it has no bearing on their opinion.

and I hate it when people ask me about my grades. because then I have to reveal what I got and it ends up being the top grade, then I feel super uncomfortable. I recently got back a whole bunch of tests, and i did well on them, whatever, not a big deal, stuffed them into my bookshelf and didnt think much of it. Until people started asking me and /or found out someone received a certain high score and started digging around and found out it as me

what the heck.
 

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Confession: I don't like it either. It makes me feel like I'm being put on some type of pedestal where I don't belong. I also feel like it sets me up for scrutiny down the road. There comes a point when I say things like "I don't know" only to have the other person make a big deal out of it and feel proud that they were able to stump me about something.

I prefer weird, crazy, or insane rather than "wow, you're really smart!"
 

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I think it might be worth separating parts of this off.

I can understand the reluctance to be put on a pedastal. But in terms of grades - you've worked hard to get good results - you should be (quietly) proud of what you have achieved. Give yourself a pat on the back - you don't have to go public with that! INFJs don't celebrate their own success enough!!!

In terms of the smart question - for me personally I have woken upto just how many types of smart there are and although I am good at some things I always feel there is more. Very much a case of the more I know the more I realise how little I know!!!
 

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I have been told i am smart by alot of people... but i am not because i just talk what i know about most and most people don't tend to learn the stuff i do well. i can just sling my 54% English 12 mark upon graduation at them and my inability to complete math 12. both had reason that did really affect my grade but it is good to be able to show i am not. most of my knowledge comes from research and i just tend to forget what i learn easily.it takes awhile to "forget"and it gets fuzzier every year if i don't use it. i just need to go through it again it is still there. just need a refresher to remember it.

it bothers me since i am not smart but i am knowledgeable since i spend time studying things.
 

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Confession: I don't like it either. It makes me feel like I'm being put on some type of pedestal where I don't belong. I also feel like it sets me up for scrutiny down the road. There comes a point when I say things like "I don't know" only to have the other person make a big deal out of it and feel proud that they were able to stump me about something.

I prefer weird, crazy, or insane rather than "wow, you're really smart!"
I agree with this.

When people give me compliments in general, I feel like I have to maintain that label. If for some reason I begin to slack or do something that was opposite for what I got a compliment for, I feel guilty that I could not maintain their standards.
 

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I don't mind being called smart.

I'd rather be called clever, though. That's an intellect that I can identify with much, much more. I value creative intellect much more than I do "brainy" intellect.
 

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I don't like the pressure either, to do well or even do better the next time... This has happened before, and it got pretty serious that I started isolating myself and never did or showed my work out in the open. I also find that when one person says it, and then the whole group copies so it's not completely sincere. And I hate going to awards shows.

I actually rarely get called smart but people do other things. My teachers often smirk at some of my works and they are always asking me questions and telling me if I want some more work to do, or suggest several things I might like. I see that they don't do this with the other students. I feel that it's not about grades, because other students get higher marks than me (and are also on time). It's probably how I see and approach things. I also feel that I am more interested in what I'm doing than most of them

I was at my friend's house long time ago. Her brother, a little kid, he said "He learns fast..." when we were playing video games. That's the only time I can remember it's been said to me (almost) directly.

I don't mind it unless it's publicized. So I've been mostly lucky it's done without actually verbalizing. And I feel good about it, as a compliment.. I would say it has made me trust and feel confident in my abilities while I was growing up as a child, but the affirmation is unnecessary now. I think that my parents/family don't even know this side of me (though I'm not mad at them) and maybe I wouldn't have known ..The topics I'm interested in don't have a right and wrong, so it is nice to get feedback outside of myself.
 

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I don't care if I am called smart. I know I am. I just don't seem to think that I am as smart as they all think I am. I will take it as I take any other genuine compliment: I thank the person for saying so and move on.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
i actually find it insulting to call someone clever.

i usually call someone clever, as a euphemism to say manipulative.
 

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Well i have been called a walking encyclopedia before the era of Google and a walking Google before the era of iPhones. I've no idea sometimes how I know some things I know. (I was a very curious child...)

Used to bother me that people around me gave me weird looks when I chipped in with a random fact during conversations and the only thing they know how to respond was to give a condescending "wow, you're smart!".

But I've long gotten used to it, and over the years I've learnt that people get intimidated with knowledge because they prefer ignorance as too much truth hurts.

But there are all kinds of intelligence, so as long as one is not using "wow, you're smart!" to cover for the lack of a smarter thing to say, then I guess that is a compliment that should be accepted sincerely.:happy:
 

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I'm quite argumentative by nature, and I often scoff at the remark. I know I'm quite clever, but I've yet to obtain a definitive grasp on what 'smart' or 'brilliant' might entail.

I know I'm not entirely stupid, but I'm not the brightest sometimes either. I'd like to think I even myself out.
 
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Well i have been called a walking encyclopedia before the era of Google and a walking Google before the era of iPhones. I've no idea sometimes how I know some things I know.

That is definitely me as well! :laughing:

But there are all kinds of intelligence, so as long as one is not using "wow, you're smart!" to cover for the lack of a smarter thing to say, then I guess that is a compliment that should be accepted sincerely.:happy:
So true and many fail to realize that! That is an excellent point.
 

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What does this 'smart' even mean? I mean I go to college and work my ass off to get good grades but when people say 'smart'with awe, it makes me think they believe I have some natural gift of intelligence. I don't deserve such a remark. It's gets on my nerves because I'm thinking "well shiz you'd know that [insert fact here] too if you read the book I frickin got the information from" -_-. It does feel like being put on pedestal. I'd rather be acknowledged for my work ethic and the fact that I beat poverty to get into a good school despite what rotten statistics would say than for being 'smart'.
 

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I feel ya ... there I am happily blending with the wall or the generic background of a social situation, almost to the point of adopting just the right colors to fit in, and then somebody dares to call attention of multiple people to me by giving a compliment - the nerve of these people!! :p
 

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I have a hard time accepting compliments, in general. But when people call me "smart", it seems to really bother me. I always argue with people and say "no, I'm not smart." I feel like I don't know anything and that I would need to gain a lot more knowledge before I'd ever consider myself smart. I also feel that I am too immature and distractable to consider myself intelligent. But I can't seem to prove people wrong.

I guess it seems like they have a really high view of me and I'm afraid that if I do or say something stupid that I'll disappoint them. "Smart" brings about a lot of pressure for me to live up to someone else's expectations and prove my intelligence. I want to get on people's good sides and them to have a good perception of me, but I can't seem to handle their compliments.
 

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ISFJ here just throwing in my two cents :D

I don't like to tell people about my academic achievements because I don't like to boast about myself, simple as that. I also don't like others to feel inadequate. For example, I have a really small French class, only four people. My teacher sometimes treats two of us (the ones she considers to be more capable) a little differently to the other two, and that doesn't make anyone feel good.

But if I'm honest, the real reason I don't like being called smart is because I don't want people to think that's ALL that I am. Okay this is a really dumb example, but it illustrates what I'm trying to say. You know those Facebook pictures that people tag their friends in, that have things written like "The one you can depend on" or "The one with the nice smile". I always get tagged as the smart one, and it just irritates me that that's all that people see. As opposed to all the other redeeming qualities that I think are much more valuable than intelligence, people seem to think that intelligence is my best quality. Which basically.... sucks. :D
 

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I always get tagged as the smart one, and it just irritates me that that's all that people see. As opposed to all the other redeeming qualities that I think are much more valuable than intelligence, people seem to think that intelligence is my best quality. Which basically.... sucks. :D
Would so rather be "the one you can depend on" than the 'smart' one...Just goes to show how much people actually know you ya know?
 
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